30 Reasons Why Your Dog May Hate You

Don’t Be That Dude

• You keep changing their food brand.
• You keep sticking a phone in their face hoping for a viral video.
• You don’t empathise with them.
• You feel as though being dominant makes you better than the dog.
• You shout at them in public places.
• You don’t groom them.
• You go too far with the play fighting.
• You confuse them with less attention, then more attention at different times.
• You throw away their favourite toy.
• You eat their food.
• You save their spouse's number on your phone.
• You don’t let them sleep.
• You don’t take them clubbing.
• You don’t understand their noses are sensitive towards your smell, but then say that they smell.
• You take them to the Vets but say you're really taking them to the park.
• You stroke a cat in the street (their most sworn enemy) whilst they watch, confused and betrayed.
• You don’t trust them with the keys to your car.
• You talk about human things when all they want is some treats.
• You don’t listen to their stories about their day.
• You cuddle your dog in front of their friends — this can be embarrassing for them. One dog suffered from cyber-bullying for 2 weeks by a Pit-Bull called Antonio because his owner called him “cootchy poo” in front of his friends. He got Antonio back though when he found out he slept with a cat toy.
• Small kennels.
• Annoying tight collars.
• You have a stupid name for him/her and all his friends take the mick out of him.
• You don’t tell them when you’ll be home.
• You walk out of the door without saying goodbye.
• You don’t clean the garden.
• You pay more attention to the TV than them.
• You don’t give them eggs — they like cooked eggs.
• You don’t take them for long car rides.
• You don’t let them eat the mailman.

This article was made possible by interviewing 14 of the most successful dogs in showbusiness today, and 23 dogs walking in public. Some of the most notable in this list are Shelly the Sheepdog, Harry Potter the Husky, and Germany’s very own Dobby the Doberman. We noted the most commonly recurring issues and included them in this article.

Note: We did not interview any Chihuahuas because they don’t like anyone. When we approached a Chihuahua, he was quick to scorn our gentle requests with his overly-masculine mafia voice — he was drug dealing, thought we were the police, tossed his stash of Class A, bone-shaped doggy treats, and disappeared in an alleyway. When we handed the stash to the police and told them what had happened, they looked at us like “we” were crazy. Anyway, that was a close call, I heard these Mexican Chihuahua’s carry weapons now — you know — baseball bats and Tommy guns, as if their teeth ain’t enough. Brutal Cartel life I guess.

Regardless of the Chihuahua Cartel problems we had to go through, we hope this article helped you connect further with your dog — and all the dogs we interviewed give their “woofs” to you and the family.

Peace and Blessings!