Summary

The article provides insights into recognizing, preventing, and exposing sexual abuse/assault, emphasizing the importance of taking action and empowering oneself to overcome its effects.

Abstract

The article on Medium discusses the pervasive issue of sexual abuse and assault, highlighting the need for open conversation about these difficult topics. It underscores the fact that anyone can be a victim or perpetrator, regardless of their social standing, and emphasizes the importance of prevention through education and boundary-setting. The piece also acknowledges the role of movements like Me Too in bringing these issues to light and provides guidance on recognizing signs of abuse, such as grooming behaviors and inappropriate relationships. Furthermore, it encourages survivors to speak up, seek support, and take their power back by learning to stand up for themselves and finding confidence through supportive friendships.

Opinions

The article opines that sexual abuse is not limited by social status or profession and can be perpetrated by seemingly respectable individuals, including presidents and pastors.
It suggests that teaching children about their bodies and setting clear boundaries can help prevent sexual abuse.
The piece conveys a strong opinion that gifts and favors can corrupt relationships and impair judgment, potentially enabling abuse.
It emphasizes the importance of being self-sufficient and not overly reliant on the goodness of others to protect oneself from potential exploitation.
The author believes that a confident individual with strong personal boundaries is less likely to become a victim of sexual abuse.
The article criticizes the silence and complicity often found in communities where abuse occurs, as seen in the examples of the Duggar and Willis families.
It advocates for the empowerment of survivors through sharing their stories and finding supportive networks that encourage personal growth and self-acceptance.

Sexual Abuse/Assault: How to Recognize, Prevent, Expose It, and Take Your Power Back

“Sexual assault and domestic violence are difficult to talk about. Talk about them anyway.”— Mariska Hargitay

Are you pleasantly surprised to read this topic on Medium? Do what you can to eradicate sexual abuse/assault — expose it, take your power back, and thrive!

Consensual sex is a normal human basic need between two mature adults. It turns to abuse or assault when it is forced and unwanted. Or when an adult or a boss takes advantage of a child or adult because of their power position.

Anyone can be a victim or a perpetrator of sexual abuse or assault. Sexual abuse is like racism, colorism, or sexism — good and influential people practice it every day — Presidents, Pastors, Doctors, Teachers, and Others; call for help now, 800–656-HOPE

A woman narrated — “My best friend’s husband sexually assaulted his maid who was 11 years old and married her after he got her pregnant. I was confused and prayed that the man should die. He was an outstanding community leader and president of a company.

And everyone in the community, including his wife kept quiet. The man used his influence and money to woo the girl’s parents. The girl’s mother was the man’s first cousin. Gifts corrupt. A man sees sex like food and he can have it with anyone when he is hungry.”

The above story is a piece of cake. Fathers sexually abused their daughters, and bosses sexually assaulted their subordinates all the time. Me Too Movement did a great job of letting the cat off the bag.

In July 2017, a famous TV father, Toby Willis, was sentenced to 40 years in prison on multiple counts of raping his daughters. Toby started sexually abusing one of his daughters at three years old.

And a popular President Clinton abused his presidential power by having a sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky.

Domestic abuse is the mother of sexual abuse and child abuse. Speak up against all kind of abuse and take your power back.

How to prevent sexual abuse/assault:

Prevention is the best treatment for sexual abuse and assault—things you can do.

Trust yourself and allow others to do the same. Give your children the tools to prevent sexual abuse — a child sexual abuse victim is likely to be an adult sexual assault victim or a perpetrator.

Name body part with its correct name — neck, vagina, or penis. Teach your children (girls and boys) the function of each part of the body and its uses. For example, sex organs can only be used when it is matured. Explain how they can use it, why, and with who.

Establish a boundary for yourself and others: Your boundary cannot be broken no matter what or who, or where. For me, I cannot walk into a man’s house or hotel room alone if I do not want to have sex with him. I am protecting myself, not a rapist.

Many studies suggest the trauma of sexual assault can remain with you or your children forever. Protect yourself.

Be direct and clear on when or who your children( boys and girls) can or cannot have sex with. That will save your young/adult children from guesswork and give them the confidence to say NO to the oppressor. For example, they cannot have sex with their siblings. Yes, siblings — Josh Duggar, a TV personality, sexually abused his sisters and babysitters.

How to recognize sexual abuse:

Pay attention to all relationships — hurt people hurt people and healthy people, help people. Listen to yourself and others.

Never second guess what you see or hear about sexual abuse. Investigate with an open mind.

Gifts corrupt: All human beings are selfish. Work for what you desire and don’t always depend on people to help you and your family. Gifts crowd our judgment and self-respect. Pay attention to out-of-place blessings or favor.

Pay attention to groomers: a nice boss, an outstanding teacher/coach, a loving youth pastor, and others. These people seem to love others more than themselves or their families. Groomers want to spend more time with you or your children.

Most sexual abusers are “good” people and are well known to the victim. Sexual perpetrators work on their targets for months or years. Victims are often too shy or passive children/adults, single mothers in the church, and people living with disabilities.

I am a social worker, and my professional experience shows a grandfather sexually assaulted his granddaughter while the mother slept in the next room. A law enforcement family’s friend sexually abused a child while eating dinner with the family.

Self-sufficient family: Do you have a large family with 8–19 children and homeschool them? Pay attention to each child and supervise everyone in your household.

Can sexual abuse happen at my house? Yes, in a crowded home! It happened in Duggar and Willis families. Both families were on a popular TV show, and they followed strict Christian Values.

“Don’t fear confrontation. Fear what happens when you don’t speak up for yourself.” — Pinterest.

How to expose sexual abuse and take your power back:

Speak up and stand up for yourself

Take your power back and learn again how to stand up for yourself — find self-confidence by finding your voice.

Look for friends who inspire and empower you — show you how to be yourself.

How do you know if a friend can help with confidence? They accept you for who you are, encourage you to set a small goal, and take action. And they are happy for you in any little progress in your life.

Share your story on social media and ask for help.

Remember:

Anyone can be a victim and perpetrator of sexual abuse/assault. Trust and protect yourself.

Prevention works. Open your eyes and pay attention to yourself, your family, and your community.

Be less dependent on the goodness of people. Build your confidence because confident people have boundaries and strong views on things that matter to them.

Give your children tools and model respecting people, not worshiping — teachers, relatives, pastors, neighbors, or celebrities.

Help yourself grow.

Come back next time for child abuse.