3 Ways to Shift our Mindset in the Face of Adversity

Strategies to find blessings in disguise during trying times

Three years ago, I crossed paths with the unexpected. A twist of fate came to slap me in the face. Little did I know, such an event proved to be a blessing, that would later lead me back to the path with heart.

What is the Path with Heart?

It’s our true calling. It’s the path most aligned with who we truly are in our hearts. Some people call it “Soul Purpose”. Others refer to it as “Dharma”.

My Story

I fell in love with writing when I was a child.

I remember vividly looking forward to starting a new school year. It was an opportunity to go shopping and choose the new school materials — my favorite notebooks and journals where my writing would come alive.

Without a doubt, a total sensory experience of pleasure to feel my new treasure’s silky texture between my hands. Their delicious smells went from woody, earthy, and smoky to even vanilla at times. A whole new adventure of choice before my eyes.

I recall choosing the notebooks based on how their pages made me feel, never judging them too quickly by their cover, and always looking at the choice in front of me from the inside out.

After having carefully chosen my notebooks, my next step was to select the pens. Pens were to my writing like a breath of air to any being alive, a key and necessary ingredient to stir the juices of creativity, ideas, and musings to get my words dancing happily to the jive.

As you may have guessed, writing to me has always been a powerful experience of the senses. It is an invitation to connect to my heart, letting my imagination loose, and allowing all the elements to intertwine.

When I was a child, my favorite book was ‘Johnathan Livingston Seagull’ by Richard Bach. The book tells the story of a seagull named Jonathan, who loved to fly.

Jonathan’s pursuit to master the art of flying and reluctance to comply with the rules of his flock, caused him to be expelled and to go after his dream to reach heights no other seagull had before.

Unquestionably, that story planted the seed of going after my dreams at a very young age. It didn’t matter if those dreams fell out of the norm, attracted criticism, or required me to embrace change.

However, many years later, when it came to the time to decide what to do with my life, and what career to choose, I didn’t choose my heart over my logical mind.

Instead, I chose the most traveled path, the one that felt safe at the time, the most secure one, and became an accountant.

Nothing wrong with being an accountant, though it could be said it’s a career better suited for a left-brain gal, rather than a touchy-feely one.

Suffice it to say, all my love for writing poems went down the toilet. I kept all my dreams of faraway lands, castles, dragons, and princes, hidden and concealed from the view of any inquiring passer-by.

All the poems that once were my companion and filled my heart, were replaced by numbers fairly neatly placed in line.

Then, years later, unexpected news woke me up from my slumber and oblivion. My son was diagnosed with autism, and as irony would have it, I was forced to decide between my career and my child.

Here are three ways I used to shift my mindset in the face of adversity when confronted with the above turn of events:

Reframing Adversity as a Path for Self-Discovery

Believe it or not, navigating the nuances of neurodivergent parenting and raising my ‘out of the box’ son, has become a path of self-discovery and personal development.

A path that has allowed me to unearth what I am made of. Between trials and whatnot, I have found a real sense of self and rediscovered my inner strength to face my son’s challenges.

Following my son’s diagnosis, I started writing again, journaling my feelings as a way to release in a cathartic fashion what my logical mind couldn’t fathom about my family’s new state of affairs.

My healing journey started. I traveled a new road to reacquaint myself with my childhood’s passion. This new path heralded my return to innocence, to who I am at the core of my being, and whom I am meant to be on Earth.

If you are going through a challenging time, consider:

• What positive traits have you learned about yourself, that you wouldn’t have otherwise?
• How going through a trying situation prepared you to excel at handling yourself through a bigger challenge the next time.

You may have found a renewed sense of self-trust, patience, courage, resourcefulness, resilience, or inner strength.

Needless to say, it is in those moments when the rug is pulled from under our feet that we meet face-to-face the warrior that lives within.

In other words, it is going through hardships, and not in moments of complacency, when we are forced to figure it out. As Arnold Schwarzenegger beautifully said:

“Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

Reframing Adversity as an Opportunity to Return to our True Self

Sometime after my son’s diagnosis, while pondering about the purpose of my soul, a flash of remembrance flooded back into my mind from the time I was a child.

I received my most memorable birthday present, the book mentioned earlier, about the seagull who dared to fly like an eagle, to depths and heights no other seagull could fly.

As these memories filled my brain, I remembered all I wanted to do when I was a child was to write, to become a writer.

I wanted to uplift other’s people spirits. I wanted to inspire, to do for other people what Jonathan Seagull did for my young mind, to believe in my potential, and that nothing is written unless I am the one writing the lines.

As a consequence, I started writing to document my spiritual and neurodivergent parenting journey. I hope to be of benefit to others, who may be just starting the path.

Sometimes when adversity knocks on our door, we may be presented with a crossroads, an opportunity to step into the path with heart. Unbeknown to us, it may be a chance to take on a new journey, to return to our true selves, to become more aligned with who we truly are, and let go of our self-imposed mask.

It is in these moments that we realize, life may not give us what we thought we wanted but will always give us what we need. Oftentimes, what we fail to achieve becomes the very reason that propels us to where we are meant to be.

Reframing Adversity as an Opportunity to be Grateful

If we see life as a chain of events with cause and effect regardless of our interpretation as to whether such events are good or bad, we will learn that every occurrence leads us somewhere.

Although the journey with my son may be filled with challenges, I couldn’t be more grateful for where I landed.

Writing for me is akin to walking the path with heart. If we let go of expectations and choose to believe there is no destination to arrive at, then only the journey matters, and how we are choosing to respond to the situation at hand. Therefore, we can choose to be grateful, rather than resentful for what may lie ahead on our path.

For as long as we are walking the path with heart, we love what we do, so that we become one with the path. All of a sudden, we are more present living from moment to moment. It is of no concern how far we need to travel, for we feel connected and aligned with life.

So, today, as I reflect on my journey, I feel grateful and give myself a pad on the back for mistakes and breakthroughs alike. Come what may, I feel stronger, capable, and ready to face anything, as I have found my true path.

If you are facing a challenging situation, consider all the ways those circumstances may be a blessing in disguise, and be grateful for where it may lead you that you wouldn’t have arrived at otherwise.