Summary

The article outlines three strategies for overcoming resentment, emphasizing the importance of focusing on positive relationships, using negative emotions as motivation for success, and expressing feelings through writing.

Abstract

The author of the article shares personal experiences about growing up without a father and how they managed to avoid harboring resentment. They suggest that by concentrating on the supportive people in one's life, channeling negative energy into productive goals, and journaling to express emotions, individuals can effectively move past feelings of resentment. The author's own life serves as an example, having benefited from a strong support system and personal drive, which led to academic success and personal growth.

Opinions

The author believes that it's possible to overcome resentment, even in challenging circumstances like growing up without a parent.
They express gratitude for the positive influences in their life, such as their mother and grandmother, and suggest that these relationships can overshadow the absence of someone like an estranged father.
The author advocates for using the pain of resentment as a catalyst for personal achievement rather than letting it hinder progress.
They find writing to be a therapeutic tool for processing emotions, comparing it to having an uncertified therapist available at all times.
The author acknowledges that while it may be easier for them to get over their father's absence since they never knew him well, the strategies they propose can be universally beneficial.
They conclude that letting go of resentment is crucial for living a fulfilling life, free from unnecessary burdens.

3 Ways to Get Over Resentment

It’s hard but not impossible.

I’m such a resentful person.

Well, not really.

Subconsciously I guess.

The main reason why I should have resentment is because I never grew up with a dad. He left my mom before I was born. Sometimes he’d pop in and out of the house when I was five, but that ship crashed terribly.

Soon, we never saw him again. He left my mom and grandma to take care of me and my sister on their own. Let’s just say his side and my mom’s side don’t get along very well.

It’s a sad story, but I don’t feel anything when I tell it. And you know what?

I’m glad I grew up without harboring any resentment towards my dad. Sure, I could call him a dick all I want, but I never harped on it.

Here’s why.

Focus on the good people around you.

Even though my father wasn’t there, I’d be lying if said I didn’t have awesome people around me. To be honest, if he had been there, I probably wouldn’t be in the great position I’m in now.

My mom provided for us. We had great Christmases, fun vacations (except those two where I almost drowned), and we got an amazing dog who gave me as much love as possible. Even though my mom was a work most of the time, my grandma would teach me my ABC’s and times tables so I could stay ahead of the learning curve.

Just because you resent someone doesn’t mean you have to put the rest of your life on hold and only focus on that person. You have to look at the bigger picture.

No matter how much anger you harbor towards someone, you have to find a way to place it somewhere in a vault so you don’t have to think about it anymore. The best way to make this vault is to focus on the people that matter. The people that stuck with you through hard times.

After you do that, all of the negative energy withers away.

Let that negative energy be your fuel for success.

I have large goals in life — larger than calling a man I don’t know bad names.

Seeing my mom work so hard to take care of me inspired me to follow my dreams and act upon them. Because of this, I don’t have time to worry about some random dude I’ll never see again.

So I worked my ass off in high school and now I go to college for free. Not too shabby eh?

Don’t let that negative energy become a crutch. Instead, let it be your fuel. Put it in yourself and use it as an incentive to work that much harder. Every time you feel your resentment coming on, start working on something productive that will get you where you want to be.

Write it out.

Great, now my writing quirk is jumping out.

*Covers up in embarrassment*

We all have different mediums of letting out our feelings and frustrations. Mine is writing. So if I ever have a horrible day and I can feel the anger boiling inside me ready to burn someone in the face — I write it.

I have a daily journal so my thoughts are constantly expressed on a piece of paper. And the best part is that this piece of paper isn’t a judgmental human being. Sure, you can talk to your family about it, but the best way for me to get my thoughts out with absolutely no judgment is to force my pen to kiss that paper on the mouth.

Writing is your chill homie uncertified therapist from down the street. I’m serious.

Final Thoughts

Resentment is a bitch.

Maybe I’m lucky because I never really knew my dad so it’s easier for me to get over things. But it’s natural to harbor some hurt feelings since he never helped my mom raise me and my sister. That’s unforgivable.

But he’s not stressing over it so why should I? What’s done is done.

The best thing you can do in resentful situations is to live out your dreams, focus on the positive people around you, and write everything out.

It’s hard to get over resentment, but it’s so much easier to live your best life without a care in the world. That’s what you deserve.