3 Ways I Became Extremely Self Aware Last Year

I know who I am now.

I’ve become more self-aware in the past year than I have in my entire life.

It wasn’t an easy task at first. I struggled with bouts of depression and confusion. I had no idea what my purpose was on this Earth. I felt like an outcast who could never get their grip on the world.

Here’s how I changed that in the past year.

Evaluate your toxic surroundings carefully.

We all make this mistake at some point.

You put yourself in the wrong crowd because you don’t want to be alone. You want to be a popular kid who’s liked by everyone. You crave validation.

I feel like the whole “make a lot of friends” shtick your parents teach you when you’re younger got hijacked. The conversation about school shouldn’t be about making a lot of friends. It should be about getting decent grades and having around three to five friends at the most. That way, you won’t have a bunch of acquaintances you’ll forget about as soon as high school is over and you won’t find yourself in toxic friendships.

I used to be apart of the band clique in high school.

Let’s just say it was a sexually active group of Trump supporters. I didn’t want to sit at the lunch table alone so I toughed it out with them.

Long story short, someone left a racist meme in our group chat and said the n-word. After I reported them to the principal, that whole group disowned me. As soon as that happened, a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders.

After you get rid of the toxic noise perpetuated by these fake friends, it’s a lot easier to explore yourself.

Make a list of stuff you’re interested in and find your passion.

Lavar Ball, a famous entrepreneur and N.B.A. dad who got two out of three of his sons into the league with their own shoe brand, once said this:

“The key to life is finding something you love to do and if you so happen to get paid for it, that’s the best of both worlds.”

Seeing everyone around me excel at their own passion made me jealous, so I got serious.

I’ve been through a fair amount of ventures as a 20-year-old, but here are the main ones that stuck out:

• I started writing for the first time in 2018 — I gave up when I didn’t get results for my crappy anime review blog
• I started selling shoes on eBay in 2018 — Turns out I was losing more money buying the shoes than selling them and I still have a pair of shoes I spent 500 bucks on sitting here in my basement that never sold
• I started my own social media marketing company in 2019 — I quit after a million cold-calls and F you’s on the phone

Now I’m writing again. That sounds like a plot twist, but I’m trying to write again because it’s something I’ve always loved. My first business model sucked and I didn’t understand the scope of hard work that needs to be put in for a successful writing career.

I love writing and I’m going to do it for the rest of my life.

Make a list of stuff you’re interested in and try them. It’s okay if you fail. Eliminate as many as you can from the list.

Once you find your passion, you’ll be about 80% more self-aware because you know what your purpose is in the world.

Travel the world alone — or your local city.

I’ve been out of the country once and it was the best time of my life.

I went on a free spring break trip to London and Paris for a week to learn about famous European scientists. I went with a class of around twenty other people and I was terrified of going off by myself. I traveled on the subway with other people for the majority of the trip.

I finally snapped on our last day in Paris to go out by myself.

As I pulled out Google Maps and boarded the subway, my anxiety withered away each passing minute. I walked along the love-lock bridge and found myself at the Louvre. I went to a famous macaron store and got some goodies. I spoke French to a waiter as he gave me a wonderful Croque monsieur.

I became more self-aware just by walking on the street and thinking about life.

I know most people can’t afford to travel the world, but try and visit your local city if you can’t do that. Take a walk around your block to clear your head. Trust me, scenery gets your gears going.

You don’t have to be around new scenery to think about life.

Final Thoughts

Being self-aware is a long task that I’m still working on.

I know for a fact that letting go of my toxic friend group, finding my passion, and traveling more are the biggest stepping stones that helped me along the way.

Sometimes it’s not all about knowing yourself, it’s about being in tune with your inner self and outer surroundings.

So keep it up and enjoy the rest of your journey.

Get my free writing guide that can teach you how to build a writing habit in 90 days or less here.