3 Unlikely Life Lessons From An Ancient Military Treatise

War teaches us everything we need to know about how to live

Sun Tzu’s “The Art Of War” makes today’s self-help world seem like a lot of hot air.

Sure, the 2,000-year-old military treatise is the most influential military text in history — but it’s much more than a series of warfare strategies.

It’s a hidden self-help gem.

War strategy teaches us how to live a better life.

#1. “He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.”

Picking your battles is easier said than done.

Some things in life grind my gears. When anxiety and panic set in, my instinct is to fight everything all at once and not let up.

But when we go full tilt as a way of life, we often dig ourselves into holes that are hopelessly deep.

Life isn’t measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It’s how many times you turned away and chose to look in a better direction.” ― C. JoyBell C.

When I was 17, my older sister and best friend became severely mentally ill. Her schizophrenic hallucinations, delusions, and psychotic breaks made life a living nightmare.

In my thick teenage skull, I thought I could be the hero. I thought I could turn water into wine and save her from mental ruin.

But no matter how much I cared or how many times I showed up for her at her worst or darkest moments — no matter what I did or said — her mental health only worsened.

The sicker she got, the more I was swept up in the horror of her disintegrating world.

No doubt my sister was worth fighting for. But this was a losing battle — mental illness or not; you can’t save someone from themselves.

The price I paid? Years of trauma — trauma to this day, I still work through.

There are some battles that simply can’t be won. Knowing when and when not to take up arms is the secret to keeping your head above water.

I lost this battle. But you don’t have to lose yours.

#2. “Opportunities multiply as they are seized.”

It’s like the domino effect.

When opportunities stack up, momentum trickles into other areas of your life. Once things are in full flow, you feel like fire dancing on water — you’re unstoppable, in perfect harmony with the outside world.

But opportunities never fall squarely into our laps: We make our own.

“If opportunities don’t knock, build a door.” — Milton Berle

When I was dealing with chronic pain 3 years ago, I deluded myself into thinking the universe would rush to my rescue.

For months I sat on my lazy, entitled ass stewing in negative thoughts. Waiting…waiting…waiting. No surprise: no forward momentum was achieved — only backtracking.

It wasn’t until I saw my situation as an opportunity — rather than a curse — that I started to move the needle in the right direction:

• The right medical professionals appeared
• The recovery process started to click
• The self-destructive thoughts faded

The magic didn’t happen overnight. It took close to a year of blood, sweat, and tears.

But it was like my path was already laid out in front of me. All I had to do was get out of my own way, open myself up to possibility, and let momentum carry me forward.

Isn’t that all we can ever do?

To listen to the universe and keep our eyes peeled. Nah, not in the woo-woo, “you listen, the universe speaks” type of way.

I’m talking about when all hell breaks loose, you hit the snooze button and start making your own luck with whatever you’ve got.

If you persevere and stay alert to what falls to your feet — the universe will have your back.

#3. “Every battle is won before it’s fought.”

Life’s no fairy tale.

Any moment now, an unexpected shitstorm can come crashing down on your pretty face. Wherever and whenever it hits, if your head’s in the clouds and your tail’s between your legs — you will crash and burn.

Long before the shot clock starts, it’s our level of preparation, the game plan, that determines our biggest wins and losses.

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” — Richard Williams

As a tennis coach, I have the rare privilege of babysitting some stuck-up, entitled adults.

Last year, I taught an older woman whose sole objective was to sabotage me in front of the entire class. While I was speaking or demonstrating a skill, she’d interrupt:

“What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense!”

She got real hostile, real quick.

“Are you fucking serious, you’re talking about Roger Federer again?”

I was caught off guard — c’mon, seriously? What kind of grown-ass adult acts like a nincompoop? Also, I hate confrontation. So to avoid causing a fiasco, I politely tell her to wait until the end of the class to let me know her comments.

But it was already too late. By the end of class, I was a ticking time-bomb. You can guess what happened.

I let her have it. I blew my fuse, and my boss was right next to me, frozen in shock. While deeply cathartic, it was also extremely embarrassing (luckily, I kept my job).

But here’s the piece: it was as if I had no choice.

From the first insult she hurled my way, the battle was lost then and there — my rage had a stranglehold on me, my fate was sealed. As bizarre and unexpected as the situation was, without a game plan, I was left to function entirely on autopilot.

I don’t know about you, but my subconscious programming isn’t always the safest horse to bet on.

Whether it’s in the emotional or professional arena — you need a solid game plan. Part of that is knowing yourself, your weaknesses, what makes you blow your lid.

In a nutshell

Life is a series of battles.

It’s also a war of attrition. Don’t wear yourself down by fighting every battle. Be mindful that the fighting spirit is a double-edged sword.

When shit does hit the fan, find space in the midst of chaos and build on the opportunities that come your way — they’ll never run dry.

Ultimately, true victory lies in our ability to prepare for the unexpected. Aren’t we all fighting the same war, the one happening on the inside?

There’s no way around yourself. Master the inner war and master life.