3 Tips for Coming Out of the Psychedelic Closet to Loved Ones

Sharing your story helps break the stigma

Over the past two weeks, my parents have been visiting me from Europe.

If you’re anything like me, there are always some mixed feelings about family time. Of course, the overwhelming sensations are excitement, joy, and gratitude. I’d be lying, though, if I didn’t admit that there’s always a little anxiety sprinkled in. After all, no one knows your buttons like your family.

In addition to that, I knew it was time to have a more elaborate conversation about psychedelics. Now that I’m dedicating myself to this professionally going forward, I realized it was time to loop them in a bit more.

Coming out of the psychedelic closet is never easy, for multiple reasons. For one, there’s the stigma surrounding psychedelics, which are especially potent among the generation my parents belong to. Then there’s the stigma around mental health, which is commonly a big part of the conversation around psychedelics.

Read on for some reflections on how to talk about your psychedelic journey with loved ones, whether it’s family members or friends.

Most People Will Never Understand What You’ve Experienced — and They Don’t Have To

I came out of the psychedelic closet anonymously on the internet before I talked much to my family about it.

The first time I wrote about my experience with Ayahuasca, it was read by over 30,000 people. I got overwhelmingly positive feedback, which gave me the courage to have more open, in-person conversations.

Not all conversations have been easy, however.

The education gap is the biggest challenge. It’s truly not a matter of opinion but education. If you’ve looked into the clinical research, the science around psychedelics is clear. The therapeutic benefits are proven and the risks are not nearly what mainstream media deemed them to be for the decades following the War on Drugs.

Then, of course, there’s also the fact that people who haven’t experienced psychedelics themselves cannot possibly grasp the nature of the psychedelic experience. These journeys are ineffable and transcendent. Language thoroughly falls short. Even when you do try to convey the meaning, chances are you’ll be misunderstood or viewed as “crazy” — especially if pre-existing judgments are present.

Here’s the thing, though.

People don’t need to understand your experience. They don’t need to grasp the specifics of how psychedelics have worked or felt for you.

What matters is the impact they’ve had on your life, which will be much easier to communicate. That’s what people will be able to understand and relate to.

Tip #1: Lead through example

In my experience, it’s helpful to start any conversation not with what you’ve experienced during your journeys but rather with the changes they’ve brought about.

I only began opening up to my family when I was already at a point where I’d noticed (and maintained) tangible benefits from my work with psychedelics for some time.

This way, when I opened the conversation, I was able to lead it by saying that my depression had been gone for over a year, my eating disorder for months, and so on.

This was important for me because it felt like the best defense against criticism or concern. I don’t think talking to my family about drinking Ayahuasca before doing so would’ve been helpful, but of course, this depends very much on how much your family knows about psychedelics and how open-minded they are.

In the end, your loved ones care only about one thing, seeing you happy. If that means you had to get there through ways foreign (and intriguing) to them, they’ll be much more able to overcome judgment if they’re directly confronted with the result — your transformation.

Tip #2: Follow with science

Once you’ve talked about your personal experience, it’s helpful to substantiate the personal with findings from clinical research.

People will be much more inclined to take your experience seriously if you can demonstrate that you’re not an outlier.

Here are some facts/studies you could mention:

• Johns Hopkins has been conducting studies on Psilocybin therapy for depression, anxiety, and smoking cessation for the past 10+ years
• The astounding results MAPS has achieved with its MDMA therapy for PTSD, which is anticipated to be approved by the FDA in 2023
• The fact that currently there are over 370 studies underway globally
• The emergence of psychedelic research at the world’s most renowned universities such as NYU, Imperial College London, Berkeley, Johns Hopkins, and many more
• The fact that psychedelics are non-addictive and non-lethal
• Some background on the War on Drugs and the origins of stigma

If you notice an appetite to learn more, you could also gift a copy of Michael Pollan’s How To Change Your Mind (or perhaps even forward something from The Journey).

Tip #3: Own your experience

To minimize disappointment, you’ll want to manage your expectations.

Some conversations will go great. You’ll inspire or intrigue people and make them curious to learn more. You might even give them hope.

Some conversations, however, will be more challenging. You’ll be met with misconceptions and closed-mindedness. Just remember that concerns always come from a place of love, assuming it’s a friend or family member you’re talking to. If you can’t connect with their response, try to connect with their intention instead.

In the end, however, it’s important you stand your ground and own your experience. If you’ve benefited, no one or nothing can take away from that.

Personally, especially the dialogue with my sister, who is a neurologist and a skeptic, has been challenging. The concern, in her case, stems mostly from the fact that she knows a girl that developed psychosis following cannabis use (not even psychedelic, but anyhow) — plus, of course, her medical background.

I believe I’ve had profound, positive experiences because I’ve been extremely intentional about my use, spent a lot of time educating myself, and invested in the support to properly integrate my journeys. It’s unfortunate that not everyone has such a transformative experience, and perhaps even a harmful one if set and setting aren’t right or support is lacking, but that’s not my story.

All that is to say, keep in mind that your story is your story.

It might take family and friends a while to understand. If you continue to share openly, take the time to educate, be patient and stand your ground, you’ll likely find that they’ll come around eventually.

Curious to learn more about psychedelic healing?

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