3 Things You Should Know if You Want to Imitate effectively

Imitation is a powerful tool. Don’t let anyone shame you for using it.

”Learn the morning routine of Tony Robbins”, ”negotiate like Warren Buffett”, or ”peel your vegetables like Jamie Oliver”. There are so many articles out there prompting you to imitate celebrities. It’s like imitation has become the shortest way to success.

It’s not completely wrong. Imitation can be a good strategy, granted that you do it rightly. Suppose you like Jamie Oliver. Do you really need to peel vegetables like he does if you want to learn something from his art? Not necessarily.

I believe that adopting SOME characteristics of the people you admire leads you to grow. But blindly imitating doesn’t.

”Choose a champion, do exactly what he does and sooner or later, you will succeed…”

I’ve heard coaches and experts say this a lot, and I think it’s misleading.

You can’t just choose someone who succeeds in your field and imitate everything they do. This strategy alone CANNOT be enough, for at least 2 reasons:

• First of all, because you’re not in this ”champion’s” shoes: you don’t have his or her background, personality, or even biological needs (when it comes to eating ”Jennifer Anniston’s breakfast” for instance).
• Secondly, because every new teaching has to be validated by experience. If your personal experience doesn’t back up and consolidate what you learn, all you get is empty theory.

So imitation is not a sure-fire way to success. However, it CAN bring you tremendous benefits under the right circumstances, if you know HOW and what to imitate. I call this ”selective imitation”. (I’d love to provide a link to a thorough psychology study, but this is not a scientific name, it’s just how I like to call it. But who knows, maybe one day it will have its own Wikipedia page…).

Who should you imitate?

Think about someone you find fascinating. Someone who is EXACTLY what you’d like to be in terms of charisma, or style, or a specific talent (be it painting, or public speaking, or business skills, whatever).

Wouldn’t you like to become like that person? Sure you would, it’s a natural reaction. And you should embrace it.

Sometimes this person is someone you know, someone you socialize with: a colleague, a partner, or even a member of your family. You can easily reach them, you can ask them for advice, they can even become your mentor.

But it could also be someone you don’t know personally. They’re just someone you saw on TV, some famous blogger, etc. Of course, you can reach out to them by email, but you don’t have to. You can learn from them from a distance and even consider them a mentor (even though they’ll never know about it).

Whoever this person is, if you want to learn through imitation, follow these 3 golden rules:

1. Be specific about what you imitate

Admiring someone doesn’t mean you have to become like them in every aspect. You’ve chosen your ”champion”? Ok, now ask yourself what skill, attitude or behavior you admire precisely. Identify these aspects and focus only on that.

Imitation become a efficient personal growth technic only if you treasure your own personality. Don’t let anyone become an idol for you. (If you say something like ”he’s my hero”, let that be a metaphor only).

Maybe this person has a perfect eloquence, maybe they always wear a hat, maybe they always wait for two seconds before they answer a question. (I actually knew someone who did that as a tactic to fight impulsiveness).

Whatever it is, if you need it in your life, adopt it. But ignore all the rest: their political opinions, the way they dress, or what they eat. Which brings me to the second rule:

2. Don’t judge

If your ”hero” has clearly identified qualities, but they are also cheating on their partner, it’s not up to you to judge them. Don’t be offended, don’t take it personally. Don’t say to yourself ”is this the kind of person I chose to admire and to imitate? Man, was I wrong!”

No, you weren’t wrong. You’re not trying to become like this person, all you do is a ”selective imitation” (remember that non-scientific concept I’m fond of?).

It’s obvious that you won’t like everything about that person. One day or another, you will notice something ugly. Anticipate it. Accept it. Your ”mentor” is not a god.

Be aware of how you feel during this imitation process. If one day you notice that you’re particularly disturbed by some flaw you noticed, take a step back. Reconsider the whole process. Maybe you’ve gone too far, and you’re starting to see that person as an icon.

And finally, the third golden rule:

3. Set a time limit

Your goal is not to become the eternal admirer of someone. Nothing is forever.

Something you find inspiring today could lose all interest tomorrow, maybe because you’ve reached that goal in a different way, or maybe because you took a different path.

Make regular updates of your imitation desires. Personally, if I try to imitate a positive habit I see in someone, but I don’t get any results for 3 months, I drop it. It’s probably not what I need.

Choose a deadline, be it two weeks or several months, and ask yourself:

”Am I still inspired by this? Do I still want to resemble this person in this specific regard?”

This goes for qualities you want to acquire, but also for IDEAS that inspire you.

Last year, I was very inspired by the following concept: everything that goes on in our bodies (pain, tension, etc.) is a reflection of an event happening in our lives or our close environment. I became obsessed with it, it followed me for months and I kept seeing examples of it all the time!

Then one day, I read about it again in an article and I realized that… I wasn’t moved anymore.

It doesn’t mean that the concept was no longer true! It just means that I had already explored every aspect of it, I got all the benefits from it. Time for some new inspiration!

So don’t hang on eternally to an idea that inspires you now, nor to a skill you admire. If you’re not in awe anymore, drop it. It doesn’t mean you are unfaithful to your decisions, it just means you need to move on to something new.

This is how I manage to be inspired by fabulous people while also being myself. What about you?