Summary

The article discusses the author's pet peeves regarding unhelpful and self-centered comments often found on internet posts, emphasizing the importance of meaningful engagement in online conversations.

Abstract

The author expresses frustration with three types of comments that are commonly found on the internet: the dismissive "thanks for sharing," the patronizing "actually," and the self-promotional "thanks, can I show you mine?" Using the metaphor of unexpected tuna ice cream, the author likens disappointing comments to an unpleasant surprise. They argue that such comments are conversation killers and fail to acknowledge the effort writers put into their work. The article underscores the value of thoughtful responses and how they can lead to new connections and discoveries, contrasting with the alienating effect of the aforementioned comment types. The author advocates for the art of conversation and its significance in the digital realm, suggesting that the quality of interactions in comments can influence a writer's visibility and success beyond the whims of algorithms.

Opinions

"Thanks for sharing" is seen as a conversation killer that lacks substance and fails to acknowledge the writer's effort.
The word "actually" is considered pompous and often precedes condescending or corrective remarks, which the author advises against.
Self-promotional comments that redirect attention to the commenter's own work are viewed as impolite and ineffective for building genuine connections.
Meaningful comments can positively impact a writer's reach and readership, suggesting that the art of conversation is crucial in the online community.
The author believes that the algorithm's unpredictability makes it essential for writers to rely on personal engagement through comments to gain readership.
The article implies that commenters should strive to be like "cookie dough" ice cream, providing a pleasant and expected experience, rather than "tuna" ice cream, which is jarring and unwelcome.

3 Things I Really Wish People Would Stop Saying In Comments

They’re kind of like tuna flavored ice cream

woman eating ice cream photo from piqsels

Would you try tuna ice cream? Not tuna flavored. No, no — ice cream made with real tuna. Chunks of it. In the ice cream.

You can buy it at Barberry’s Mondo Gelato in Italy.

It would be the nastiest surprise if you didn’t know, right?

It looks like chocolate chip cookie dough. Creamy white ice cream with chunks that look surprisingly like cookie dough.

Nope. Not cookie dough. Tuna.

That’s not the weirdest. There’s a little ice cream shop in Taiwan where they sell tuna, shrimp or cuttlefish ice cream. The owner loves to experiment.

In Japan, strange ice cream flavors are a thing. How strange, you ask?

Squid ink, horse meat, curry, tomato, carrots, octopus, soy sauce, corn. One of the weirdest is made with sushi from fish that’s been fermented for a year.

Haagen-Dazs ice cream photo source // Tuna ice cream photo source

Some people like them. But for most of us? That’s a hard no.

Comments on the internet are a little like that.

You get a notification that someone commented on a post. And it’s kind of exciting. You know? Like, yay — ice cream! Someone commented on your writing. And then it’s not cookie dough, it’s chunks of tuna.

Here are 3 things I really wish people would stop posting in comments.

1. Thanks for sharing

Let’s play pretend. You’re having coffee or tea with a friend. You spill this whole story while she listens attentively. And then when you sigh and lift your cup to take a sip, she looks at you and says thanks for sharing.

Well, wtf.

Where do you even go from there? Talk about a conversation killer.

Thanks for sharing?

But, of course, we’re not talking about a friend, right? Nope. We’re talking about people sharing stories on the internet.

I just spent 3 hours on that post. Probably more if it’s one of my strange but true historical posts. And your entire reply is thanks for sharing?

Why not just say I wuz here

At least it would make me laugh. lol

I don’t mean to sound like a curmudgeon with the disposition of a honey badger. I appreciate when people take the time to comment because most readers don’t. I really, really do.

Because, see, most people read and move along like stories appear by magic instead of by the sweat and toil of an army of writers bleeding every word that appear on this here site.

You don’t even have to leave a long reply.

But seriously. Even “wow, didn’t know that. thanks” — beats the crap out of “thanks for sharing.”

Or I wuz here.

Or I came, I read, I left.

If you’re going to be ice cream on a hot day, don’t be tuna.

2. Actually…

God, is there a more pompous word in the English language?

It’s like saying I like your hair, but…

Or I like your dress, but…

Nothing good ever comes after the but.

Or the actually. It screams of superiority. And condescension. It’s a word people use when they’re about to tear a strip off someone. Usually in a snotty and condescending way.

Here’s the cool thing. You can take that word out and the entire comment will feel more polite. You intended to be polite, didn’t you?

Because honestly — if you had no intention of being polite, that’s a little internal signal to take your hands OFF the keyboard and move along.

For writers, when you see a comment that starts with the word actually, don’t bother reading the rest. Trust me on this one.

3. Thanks, can I show you mine?

I once knew a guy who only ever talked about himself.

Like, one time we were having coffee in the staff room and I was telling him about a great movie I‘d just seen. I asked if he’d seen it. Instead of responding, he started talking about himself. Totally unrelated.

It was a little weird.

He never responded to anything people were actually saying. Just waited for an opening in the conversation to talk about himself again.

It was like talking to a wall.

Eventually, people just avoided him.

We’ve all known someone like that, I guess. But we don’t have to “be” that someone. Know what I mean?

When a writer spends hours on a story, maybe don’t just drop a link to your latest story and pretend it’s a comment? It’s not.

People skills really aren’t that hard.

In summary : how you respond matters as much as “that” you respond. The art of conversation matters

So many people struggle to get reads and follows. Which makes perfect sense, because the volume of content here is staggering.

If all you’re relying on is your writing to bring you readers? Hoo boy, you’re at the whim of the algorithm.

I don’t need to tell you the algorithm is drunk half the time, do I?

And when it’s not drunk it’s stoned.

It’s a crap shoot whether there’ll be anything good on the homepage any given day. Most likely, it’s full of money posts, meta posts and someone else’s hot take on Will Smith or whatever is almost old news.

But I have my favorite writers, so I go looking for them. Sometimes, that’s how I find new people to read, too.

I’ll be reading a story by Kristi or Jared or Katie, or whoever. And then, a comment makes me right click and go check out someone’s profile.

Maybe they made me laugh. Or added something interesting. And voila — I check them out and find someone I want to read more from.

That’s how I found Dakota. Comment on a book review.

That’s how I found Rivka. Comment on a feminism post.

You know who I never check out?

People who start their comments with “actually….”

People who say “thanks for sharing.”

Heh. Sorry. True, though.

There’s a whole parallel universe here and it lives and breathes in the comments of all our posts. And in the comments? Seems to me the art of conversation is what makes all the difference.

“The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.” ―Oscar Wilde