3 Things I Noticed Going to My Neighbor’s Mexican Birthday Party

Sans booze

Getting to know your neighbors is a lost art. When I grew up, I played with the kids in my neighborhood until dinner time. Capture the flag. Basketball. Kick the ball. You know, kid stuff.

However, the adults in my neighborhood did not gather. My mother would share stories about my grandparents going to play cards with other people in the neighborhood. The kids would be running around outside together or at another person’s house with an older sibling in charge.

But I didn’t notice that kind of connection between adults when I was a kid.

I noticed TV watching, ice cream eating, video games, and book reading. At my house, my parents were tired and just wanted to relax.

I get that as an adult — that tired feeling and vegging out feeling.

But I have two young children who keep me active even when I don’t want to.

Like on this particular Saturday. All I wanted was to close my eyes for 15 minutes, but my five-year-old was too excited about going to our neighbor’s birthday party. Mommy, when is it going to be time? Mommy, can we go soon?

To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to going. But, I did as most mothers do, repeat a mantra, “This is about my kids. It’s not about me.” I put on my party dress and walked over with my kids — the five-year-old carrying the present a hundred yards away. Come on, Mommy! Let’s go!

3 Things I Noticed Going to My Neighbors at a Mexican Birthday Party

Sometimes Social Gatherings Give You Energy

We were all welcomed into my neighbor’s home when we got there. “Feel free to eat some fruit and sit anywhere.” Once in the backyard, the boys ran to their next-door buddy and began to play. Almost immediately, people started introducing themselves, making me feel more welcome.

Did I mention this was all in Spanish?

My neighbors speak English, but their native language is Spanish. When predominantly Spanish-speaking friends gather, you do what feels natural and speak the mother tongue.

So glad I had years of Spanish in college. It was flowing out of my mouth. And I understood conversations. Well, at least I think I did. Mostly.

As I opened up more and chatted with a few folks, I became rejuvenated. Relaxed. I didn’t notice until I got home and remembered how tired and ready to chill in front of the television I was before leaving. I felt like I had more energy at the end of the night.

Also, I felt more comfortable letting my kids play unsupervised down the street. It’s nice to have everyone on the same page. I would even consider hosting monthly game nights like my grandparents used to do.

I can see the kids now being a neighborhood posse on the trampoline.

No One Was Drinking (not really)

Was there a cooler of Cerveza? Yes. Did anyone push it on me? No.

Looking around, not very many people were drinking at all. The ratio seemed to be 1 for every 5 people. At a party with about 30 adults and 10 kids, that’s not many. For most of the afternoon birthday parties we’ve been to, the ratio is flipped. More adults are drinking than not.

Why is that? Is it a cultural thing? Is it just the type of particular people gathered? Or what?

I don’t know, but at the moment, it felt great to just talk with people-make connections, and become neighborhood adult friends.

After thinking about the evening, it didn’t cross my mind to drink or not to drink. Since making up my mind that I am not drinking for at least a year, I haven’t considered when I will drink, how much I will drink, or should I have another drink.

It’s very freeing not to have those considerations taking up brain space.

In the past, I would have flooded my insecurities with alcohol to lighten up, relax, and enjoy the moment. You think drinking would make my conversations silly and enlightening, even in Spanish.

But the truth of the matter is this. Alcohol makes me more insecure, so I drink more and then become too drunk. Then I don’t say anything at all and feel more awkward.

This wasn’t an awkward evening. This was enjoyable.

The Mexican Cuplenaos is Fun!

Here is a quick list of things that made this party awesome.

Pinatas- not one, not two, but three pinatas. Each kid got a chance to wack- a-mole the paper mache as everyone sang “Dale Dale Dale, No Piedras el Tino.”

Kids (and some kids at heart) ran around gathering Mexican candies. I tried a pineapple chili sucker with my two-year-old. He liked it until he got to the chili part.

The food! Ok, so there was pizza for the kids. But there were two uniquely Mexican dishes that I had never tried, and it was fantastico! Pozole and Gelatina de Mosaico.

Pozole is a traditional soup. Pork shoulder, hominy, spices, topped with fresh green cabbage, limes, and hot sauce is what they say muy Rico.

I was trying to decide whether or not to try the hot sauce. When I finally asked people at the table, I was sitting at, “Como caliente la salsa?” eyes widened as the table almost said in unison, very spicy.

I wanted to try. “Cuanto pongo?”

As they argued in Spanish for a moment, the macho took the spoon and dribbled what I thought was very little.

The table gasped. Demonsionada! Too Much! They cried as he defended his choice.

They all got silent as they watched me take my first bite, waiting for my response.

I let it savor in my mouth. It had a slight kick but wasn’t too bad at all. “Buenisimo!”

They all sighed almost in unison.

The Birthday Cake Tradition So, I am not exactly sure what was going on here, but all of the senoras gathered the children behind the birthday cake table. Then they played this song.

It was kind of long, and only one kid was singing along. Everyone else politely stood there with what the heck is happening right now, and can’t we just eat cake already plastered on their faces.

Then they sang the American version of “Happy Birthday.” And at the end, the girl next to the birthday boy smashed his face into the cake.

I asked her, “Did he know you would do that?”

Giggling, she replied, “No, my grandma motioned me to do it, so I did.”

Come to find out, this is a traditional custom.

The people. By now, it should be known that the people at the party, my neighbors and their friends and family, made this party awesome. Everyone was filled with joy and laughter and made an effort to converse with everyone. Que divertida!

Conclusion

Humans are social creatures. When we isolate ourselves with too much Netflix and chillin’, we aren’t really rejuvenating our souls. Do I still like to sit around and watch the boob tube? Yes. I have a list of shows that I make time for.

But, when we make authentic connections, our hearts lift, and we sing. Our lives feel more meaningful, and it’s more fun! I felt like I was transported to another country just a few doors down, and I didn’t have to take any mind-altering substance to get there.

I dare you to meet a neighbor today. I bet you’ll feel less alone.

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you about Gelatina de Mosaico. It’s a jello cake with cream and jello shapes embedded in the cake. My kids loved eating it and making it giggle.

Patty McMahon, M.Ed is an educator, a mother, wife, and dog lover writing about sobriety and wellness in the 21st c. To help others along their journey, she created a book club. Join her newsletter to get more insights on wellness delivered to your inbox.

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