3 Things I Learnt About ‘Slow-living’

Sometime in January, I made the decision to take some time off work to join my wife in London on her studies. Heading to London in the middle of a pandemic that was on an all-time high meant I would be spending the next five to six months in a Tier 4 lockdown (yes, it subsequently turned into a national lockdown), and I would have plenty of time to myself and my wife in our apartment.

After living like this for a couple of months, I started to understand what it was like to embrace ‘slow living’. Of course, some may feel that it was not so much about embracing a lifestyle than about having it thrust upon me due to the current context, but hey, I made do with the situation that I was in. I took the opportunity to catch up on some reading, to take long quiet walks with my wife in the park, and to have at least 8 hours of sleep every night.

Two months later, I have come to the realisation that I feel happier, lighter, and more well-prepared for each day that comes. However, with embracing such a lifestyle came several thoughts which I felt would be interesting to raise at this point for those who might be inclined to try out something like this.

1. Slow-living is HARD to do.

Firstly. Slow-living is HARD. As someone who has lived all my life and worked in Asia, I am used to a fast-paced life. More often than not, the frenetic pace of things has become characteristic of what makes an ‘eventful day’. Working on multiple things at the same time is part and parcel of that kind of day. What would also inevitably happen is that I would spend most of the day on work, and end up packing the rest of the evening with things to do such as catching up on my television shows and hobbies.

During the first couple of days after I got to London, I often found myself looking for things to do. I would sit on the couch of my apartment, literally looking around at anything that could be done. I also went online and signed up for several Coursera courses with the intention of filling up my time meaningfully. As the days passed, I started to wonder why I was behaving this way and decided to instead sit my ass down and do a single thing at a time, for hours at a go. It could be reading a good book, or watching a favourite TV series, or doing some research on investing. I initially found myself distracted and itching to open a new window in my browser or to check my social media feeds while reading.

It took real effort to stop myself from multitasking, but doing a single thing properly at a time gradually became something that I became accustomed to. My mind felt clearer, and I could focus on things a lot better. If anything, I would consider this as developing a habit. The endpoint of achieving habituation is when you internalise these practices, but until you reach there, it is going to be painful.

2. Slow-living is a privilege.

While I felt happy that I could embrace this lifestyle and decide if it was something that I would like to incorporate into my life, I am distinctly aware that I am extremely privileged to have the opportunity to do so — I am doing decently for myself, I have a job waiting for me when I return, and I have the support of my loved ones and family. This is not something that everyone has.

This leads me to my next point — that the notion of embracing a lifestyle choice presupposes that a) the choice is available to you and b) you have the means to make such a choice in the first place. If we were to assume reasonably that the end goal of such a lifestyle is your personal well-being and happiness, then making such a choice at the expense of your family’s and personal finances would actually run counterproductive to this goal. Would it make you happy if tensions are running high in your family, or if you were trying to go slow, only to know at the back of your mind that there are pressing matters to deal with?

Indeed, “embracing slow-living” is not something that is available to everyone, and is certainly not some kind of utopian lifestyle that everyone should aim toward. It requires not just effort as I have previously mentioned, but also consistency. As they say, you do you, and sometimes aiming for a life that does not work for you may be more counterproductive to your well-being than you think.

3. Slow-living is not about ‘slow’, but about ‘living’.

Lastly, the real benefit of slow-living is the mentality that allows us to focus on the things and people that matter.

I think it is fair to say that when we move too fast, we miss out on seemingly minor things that actually provide our life with its unique brand of beauty. The sound of lead against paper as you doodle something in your journal, the laughter of friends over a seemingly nonsensical comment, a smile from your wife across the dinner table. It is a cliche these days to say that the joy is in the process, joy IS indeed found in the process. Being alone with your thoughts allows you to appreciate yourself better. Putting your mind to a hobby allows you to enjoy your hobby better, and being with people who you love allows you to appreciate them better. Going slow is one way of prioritising, and learning how to give your undivided attention to things and people who deserve it.

So there you have it — 3 things to think about from someone who has had some time to slow down and think about it. This has worked out for me so far, but is this lifestyle something that would work for you? Perhaps understanding your own unique context is the first step to this.