3 Things I Learned Being Off Social Media

Summary

Michael shares three key insights gained from a six-week social media detox, focusing on time management, relationship evaluation, and the innate human need for genuine connection.

Abstract

The author, Michael, describes his annual practice of abstaining from social media to refocus his life and work on personal development. During a recent six-week period without social media, he learned that he had more free time than he realized, which he then invested in productive activities like reading, financial studying, and exercising. He also discovered the importance of distinguishing between deep, supportive relationships and more superficial online interactions. Lastly, Michael reflects on the fundamental human desire for connection, emphas

Every year I decide to log off and delete social media apps from my phone(with the exception of Messenger since that was the only communication I had with some people). It’s typically at the beginning of the year so I can start with a fresh focus and get a vision for what I want to see happen. SHOCKER I know!!! I try to be as authentic as possible online, the reality still being that social media is really a glimpse of someone’s highlights that they choose for you to see. I wanted to, needed to, work on the Michael that very few people saw behind closed doors. I felt like I couldn’t continue to perpetrate like everything was all cool when it really wasn’t. For the next 6 weeks my social life went back like it was living in 1995 and there were three pretty important things I learned…

YOU HAVE MORE TIME THAN YOU THINK

We all live busy lives. Maintaining a social life is part of that. Social media is even a part of that for most. When I deleted those apps, I realized just how much time I actually spent on social media daily. It was actually alarming. I was surprised just how much I would pick up my iPhone and my thumb would go straight for the Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook app. The first few days after I had deleted the apps I still found myself unconsciously opening my iPhone and swiping to where the apps were only to find them replaced with something else. IPhones have this really cool feature(sorry Android users, it’s time to leave the dark side) that allows you to set time restrictions for different categories of apps, along with tracking how much you use each app daily and weekly. Facebook and Instagram even take it a step further and allow you to set a daily time limit and a notification will pop up once you’ve hit that limit.

Facebook Screenshot

Instagram Screenshot

I didn’t want to get rid of those apps and not be purposeful with what I filled that extra time with. I started reading more, studying financial resources, and working out. Things that would ultimately push more towards my goals quicker than Instagram or Facebook would.

WHICH RELATIONSHIPS ARE DEEP AND WHICH ARE SURFACE LEVEL

Everyone has those relationships where it seems like the only time you talk is on a Facebook comment or with an Instagram like or Twitter mention. Those relationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing by any means. Too many of that kind of relationship however will lead to a pretty isolated life. Because once the phone battery dies or is powered off, you’re left with just yourself. And when life’s storms and trials come, you’re going to need more than just yourself to face them. Being off social media allowed me to see which relationships carry over outside of a computer or phone screen. I saw which relationships I needed to continue to invest in and appreciate because they were the real thing.

I understand not every relationship we have with people can be super deep. Some people are meant to be in your life as simple acquaintances or casual friends. I appreciate those relationships as well because there are things I learn from them all the time. I think the danger can be when someone has nothing but simple acquaintances or casual friends to turn to. Those aren’t meant to be the people you turn to for life advice, big decisions, or when crisis hits.

WE DESIRE CONNECTION

This point is similar to the last one, and slightly different. The whole purpose of social media is to connect with other human beings. It’s in the title even, social. There’s a desire that was placed on the inside of each one of us when we were born to connect with other people. That’s why we do things like build profiles we think are appealing so that others will want to interact with us. If we didn’t desire the interaction, then we would post more of those disgusting or embarrassing moments we all have, but nobody wants to see all that. During the last 6 weeks there were times I was really bored that I thought to myself “it’d be nice to go online just to see what other people are doing”. Again, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But like most things, too much of it can be a bad thing (except Chipotle, there is no such thing as too much Chipotle). It’s important to balance all of the online connections with authentic in-person connections. Interacting with someone behind a screen can only give you so much.

I initially was going to go for 8 weeks social media free, however there were some commitments I was a part of that required me be on. It’s something I enjoy doing from time to time though. I learn new things about others and more importantly myself each time. If you feel like social media is more draining to you rather than something that enhances your life, I’d encourage you to consider going a month without it. Or at the very least set those daily time limits inside the apps!

Much Love

Mike