3 Surprising Simple Ways To Be the Most Irresistible Person in a Room
Hint: It has nothing to do with your looks
Irresistible people. They are impossible to ignore — even though they aren’t drop-dead gorgeous, but still just somehow they manage to dazzle everyone with their personality without actually being flashy. They have that strong gravitational pull that manages to catch everyone’s attention in the room.
These people are the life of every party. They’re the ones everyone turns to for help, advice, and companionship.
It just seems that they are born that way. And they leave you wondering, “What do they have that I don’t — that makes them so irresistible?”
“Being irresistible isn’t the result of dumb luck,” writes Travis Bradberry, so you should “study the habits of irresistible people so that you can use them to your benefit.”
There are certain habits that irresistible people pursue every day to maintain their attractive personality:
1. Be Your Sexy Authentic Self
“When you’re authentic, you create a certain energy, people want to be around you because you’re unique” — Andie MacDowell
Authencity is so attractive. It’s hot. It’s sexy. It’s charming. It’s beautiful. It’s not a trophy life but a partner for life.
The secret of being insanely attractive, or charming, is fully accepting yourself just the way you are — no matter if you’re dark, tall, fat, or if your face is full of acne. When you feel good about yourself, people will feel good about you, too.
“Nothing is more attractive than being your authentic self!” ― Dawn Gluskin
Being your authentic self, no matter how goofy, stylish, or out-of-place will always make you the most attractive person out there. When you let go of your need for your appearance, approval and don’t care about competition with others, you tend to have the unique ability that draws people in.
Try to be yourself and not what fashion trends tell you to look like or be.
How you feel about yourself?…that’s what makes the difference.
The way you feel about yourself is what attracts people and demonstrates that you do not fear the comments of others.
And that’s really sexy. Yeah, like super sexy.
As Elizabeth Taylor summed it up the best:
“You can be fat and still be sexy. It all depends on how you feel about yourself.”
2. Upgrade The Golden Rule To Platinum Rule
There’s another old age debate…gold or platinum?
Personally, I prefer platinum.
Oh, wait!! What are we even talking about? LOL.
Rules. I’m talking about rules.
You’ve probably heard about the Golden Rule which states: “Do unto others as you would want to be done to you.” In other words, treat other people — in life, relationship, and work— the way you yourself would want to be treated.
Well, the author of the book The Art of People Dave Kerpen says otherwise:
“We all grow up learning about the simplicity and power of the Golden Rule,” says Kerpen.
“…It’s a splendid concept except for one thing: Everyone is different, and the truth is that in many cases what you’d want done to you is different from what your partner, employee, customer, investor, wife, or child would want done to him or her.”
To remove the golden’s rule flaw, Kerpen came up with a potentially better rule i.e. The Platinum Rule that states: “Do unto others as they would want to be done to them.” i.e. treats others as they would want to be treated.
The great thing about the Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want and then I’ll give it to them.”
As Kerpen continues, “The Golden Rule, as great as it is, has limitations since all people and all situations are different. When you follow the Platinum Rule, however, you can be sure you’re actually doing what the other person wants to be done and assure yourself of a better outcome.”
In his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie also illustrates the power of Platinum Rule:
Personally, I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?”
Kerpen further argues “Why not use the same common sense when you are fishing for people?”
You should think about how the other person wants to be treated, according to their personal perspective because most of the time, how the other person wants to be treated is different from the way how you want to be treated.
3. Wear Your Charismatic Confidence
“Confidence is everything. Confidence is what makes that simple white tee and jeans look good.”– Ciara
We all tend to focus on the outer body and make ourselves look attractive or sexy without realizing that the pivotal factor in attractiveness is something entirely different: self-confidence.
“A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s a self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.” — Vivica Fox
Confidence is the natural spotlight that draws people to you. A confident person transforms the energy in the room. People are drawn to them; they want to be their friend, to talk to them; and to date them.
Think about it: Which one person would you want to be around — The one who is totally insecure, doubts his appearance, abilities, and every single thing about himself? Or, the one who is super confident in what he says and does and is self-assured?
Irresistible people don’t constantly search for validation, because they’re confident enough to find it in themselves. A person who doubts their own appearance and ability basically sends signals of insecurity that warn other people away.
Having confidence in oneself lures people in.
If you’re dreary and dull, people will want to avoid you. If you’re bright and vibrant, people will want to be around you. It’s that natural spotlight.