3 Sneaky Ways Narcissists Pull a Fast One On You.
Grow wise to their manipulative tactics and protect your sanity. They are not your friends. They are not your confidantes. They are deceivers.
The scheming narcissists are everywhere you look. At least, that’s how it feels for me. I once read a long time ago that individuals suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder were a rarity. No joke, I have been obliviously surrounded by a handful of them for years so they can’t be that rare! Research from the Cleveland Clinic shows that “experts aren’t sure how common NPD is. According to research data, between 0.5% and 5% of people in the U.S. may have it. Between 50% and 75% of cases affect men and people assigned male at birth (AMAB).
However, many people hide narcissistic beliefs or behaviors…
READ THAT AGAIN.
Now, this article is not meant to cause paranoia, but rather its purpose is to help us empaths grow wise to the seamless ways narcissists dupe others. We have to engage our inner wise owl and learn how to guard against a narcissist’s hidden agenda. If you learn one thing from this page or from any other research you perform on NPD, learn this:
NARCISSISTS ARE MASTER MANIPULATORS. THEY ARE NEVER TO BE TRUSTED.
COMMIT THAT TO MEMORY. Because when your loved ones or those close to you display strong narcissistic tendencies, you as an honest and caring person are going to want to believe in their genuine side. That’s your first mistake; believing that narcissists possess the capability to act in a genuine manner. THEY CAN’T. THEY DON’T. There is not one genuine bone in their body, not unless acting genuine can help them get what they want. Even a seemingly harmless conversation with a narcissist, you will learn was not so harmless after all. They use the following tactics to manipulate you in the end without any cause for suspicion. They’re smart. But now you will be wiser:
“Mr. Owl, how many tactics does it take to spot a possible narcissist?”
“ONE…TWO-HOOOO…THREE:”
Only 80’s kids will get the above reference (Youtube “old Tootsie pop ad”).
- THEY GAIN YOUR TRUST: Being made to feel as if you are suffocating from one’s attention is never attractive either in a relationship or a friendship. When someone comes on too strong, that is a classic sign that they are after more than just your friendship. The romantic interest will resort to love-bombing you and/or smother you with gifts and compliments. They play on your emotions to help bring your walls down. However, the most manipulative way a narcissist will earn your trust that you must be on guard for is when they become vulnerable with you! Oh, this is a major gaslighting ploy they use and I was mad at myself for falling victim to it. Narcissistic manipulation by way of feigning vulnerability is a whole other level of evil. Ask Ted Bundy! Watch out for the individual who shares too much from their personal life with you because they are trying to get you to do the same. They will play on your sympathies. Keep your guard up, friend! This is a way for them to study you so they know how to get over on you later. It is a truly heartless way to butter or soften you up. The narcissist may very well be sharing truths about their lives with you but it’s not because they feel comfortable with you. It’s because they peg you for an easy target and want you to feel you’re most comfortable with them, which segues us into their next tactic.
- THEY MAKE YOU REVEAL TOO MUCH: It’s crazy to think carrying on casual conversation can be a potentially dangerous activity. Like, come on! How else are we supposed to get to know each other if we don’t ask questions about the people we are interested in getting to know better? Friend, you have to STOP being so open with everyone on God’s green earth and START exercising the principle that gaining personal access to you is a privilege! This might prove difficult for some who consider themselves lovers of all people and who are friendly with everyone; you may have to work on it but it’s beneficial to maintain privacy. Before you really get to know a person, it’s a wise idea to maintain some mystery about yourself. Don’t be so innocent minded and think someone is just being a nice “people person” because they want to know all about your life. Be quick with neutral answers. You don’t have to be vague, but never be too eager to reveal your whole truth or self to a new person in your life. Notice that people suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder choose their words very carefully to pump you for information. For example, one time a guy actually got me to reveal my shoe size to him. It was no big deal, but I wish I had been slower in offering an answer to his inquiry. He asked, “Your feet are so small! What size are you, a 5?!” Friend, I do NOT have small feet; I wish I did! But because this pwNPD fooled me with flattery by complimenting how small my feet appeared to be, I was all too happy to admit that I wear a size BIG! (You didn’t really think I was going to tell the world wide web my real shoe size, now did ya?!)
- THEY PRETEND TO SHARE SIMILAR OPINIONS: Perhaps they use this tactic because they are too afraid to share their real opinions out of fear of judgment. After all, narcissists are incredibly insecure individuals. Maybe that is giving them too much credit, yeah? It’s probably more the fact they just enjoy gaslighting others! Yeah, that sounds most probable. When you are innocently providing them your lifestyle details, they are building up a mental resume of you. Again, they are studying you to figure out how to best manipulate you. One way I realized my narc had done this to me would be to act as if we shared similar opinions. Take for example, our political beliefs. He claimed to be pro-one side just to see if I would agree, even though I had solid proof from other sources that revealed otherwise. He claimed to lean toward a certain party, however his many rants on several social media platforms proved otherwise. Falsifying a shared opinion is a way for them to grow closer to you and make you believe you two are on the same page. Diabolical. They say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I disagree when it comes to a narcissist. Keep your distance!
So what does all of this mean? Should we be made to walk on eggshells around everyone we meet? Of course not! Trust is vital but it must also be earned. The more you get to know a person, the more you will consider whether they have earned access into your social circle. But if you have reservations about a person, well Friend, it’s a wise decision to set and maintain some boundaries.
So what’s your deal? Have you ever felt deceived by any of the aforementioned narcissistic tactics? Sound off below; let off some steam!
It’s hard to admit there was a time when I wasn’t educated enough to see through the narcissists’ evil ways. But it’s even harder to withhold these experiences because I know there are other empathetic persons out there who feel just as lost broken, and betrayed as I did. Let’s create a safe space to discuss our pain points and our healing. Please clap and comment if this article helped you in any way, or if you’d like to read similar articles of mine. Because trust me, I have A LOT to share when it comes to surviving NPD abuse!
For now, take care, friend and God bless.
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I AM A SURVIVOR OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE WHO HOPES TO HELP OTHER VICTIMS/SURVIVORS ON THEIR JOURNEY TO HEALING. I’M HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK.
