3 Simple but Powerful Life Lessons from Doing the Dishes
Sometimes, the most mundane of activities can teach the most profound of lessons
When the lockdown started, my college shut down and I came back home. With most low wage workers unable to pay rents and migrating to their villages, our housemaid also followed suit.
My coming home and the maid quitting at the same time was a double whammy for my mom in terms of her workload.
On a few occasions when my mom went out and I had nothing to do, I would do the laundry, wash the utensils or clean the kitchen.
The sole reason was for the look of relief, pleasant surprise, and thankfulness on her face when she returned.
When my brother fell ill, having to tend to him further increased her workload. Wanting to help her out, I hastily promised to regularly wash the utensils.
And I did, for the next 6 months or so. After that, the maid came back and relieved me of the chore. It was a mixture of relief and funnily, some disappointment as I had sort of grown to enjoy it.
Today it so happened that the maid took a day off and with my family going out, I decided to attack the dishes.
As I am soaping, scrubbing, and humming in a low tone, I realize just how much this mundane chore had taught me about life.
The One Thing You Can Find in Everything
In the beginning, I would approach the utensils with a feeling of disgust and burden. As I went about washing them, I would become extremely irate and keep muttering curses under my breath.
The only thing running in my mind would be getting them done as quickly as possible. But with time, the frustration and disgust faded. It felt like a part of my routine and I went about it in a calm and composed manner.
Soon, I found myself actually enjoying it — I experimented with different ways of soaping the utensils, different styles of scrubbing them, and tried to get faster and more efficient at doing them.
“It made me realize how even the most mundane of things can afford joy.”
If it sounds ridiculous, you aren’t alone. If someone had told me the same before I started, I too would have found it ridiculous.
Along with enjoying the process, I also felt the satisfaction of reducing my mom’s workload. It made me realize how even the most mundane of things can afford joy.
What I learned
You can find joy in anything and everything. It’s all about the perspective — either find and appreciate the positives or obsess over the negatives. To quote Alphonse Karr,
“We can complain that rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorns have roses.”
The joy that a positive person can derive from a $1 roadside meal is much more than what a negative person gets from an exotic $1000 five-star meal.
A Profound Truth About Work
As a kid, my grandparents’ place was my go-to for my summer vacations. Naturally, I would get bored and would sometimes venture to help with the cooking or cleaning.
But every single time, I would be rebuked with either “The kitchen is no place for a boy” or “The servants are there to do it.”
Once, when a ball fell into the drain and I was trying to retrieve it, my grandma came hollering, “Don’t you touch the drain!”. I respond with, “But my ball fell in. Don’t worry, I’ll properly wash my hands.”
“No, No, Don’t. It’s dirty. Let the ball go to hell. I’ll send the maid to buy you a new one.”
“What’s the problem. The drain cleaners literally dive in sometimes.”, I whine.
“Behave yourself. Others are watching. We are high caste and it’s beneath us to do things like this.”, she says with a strict tone.
I am from India and here, the caste system is pretty prevalent, especially in small towns and villages. My grandparents’ place is just one example.
I wasn’t any better
Having lived in Bangalore, a huge city all my life, I thought that I knew better but no. Remember what I said earlier about approaching the dishes with a feeling of disgust and burden?
The main reason for my disgust was not the physical aspect of it but rather me “having” to do it. It felt wrong, debasing and “beneath” me to do it.
We are the dependant ones
Most of us say that we believe in equality but deep down still feel some things are just “beneath” us. We think we don’t “need” to do things like say cleaning the toilets or declogging the drain pipes as we can always hire someone.
“When we don’t have the time, patience, or the stomach for certain work, we pay others to do it.”
But what if there’s no one up for hire? — We’ll have to clean our toilets and unclog our drains on our own. We think that menial workers are dependant on us but in fact, it is us that is dependant on them.
What I learned
There truly is no work beneath us. Work is work. When we don’t have the time, patience, or the stomach for certain work, we pay others to do it.
“We think that menial workers are dependant on us but in fact, it is us that is dependant on them.”
This mindset shift let me really appreciate, respect, and not “look down” on any profession. As Albert Einstein said,
“I treat everyone the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
We Don’t Get to Choose How We Are Born
Today when doing the dishes, a thought crossed my mind -” Doing this for a short while itself feels frustrating and disgusting. What if I had to do this for a living?”
It was totally possible. I could have lost my parents at a young age or I could have been born into a poor family.
Worse even, I could have died of starvation like millions do in Africa or been abandoned right at birth in a trash can like god knows how many are.
I was lucky
We have absolutely no control over how, where, to whom, and in what conditions we are born.
The fact that I was born physically able into a well off family that made sure to regularly feed me, take care of me, send me to school, shower love, and give me a good life was pure luck.
What I learned
We tend to take the good things in our own life for granted and wish we were born as rich, as smart, as good-looking, etc. as someone else.
For every one person with “better” consequences than us, there are hundreds if not thousands with worse.
And that’s exactly why you, I, and every one of us needs to be grateful.
TL;DR
Life lessons can come from anywhere, even the kitchen sink. All we have to do is keep our eyes and minds open. Here are the 3 life lessons that doing the dishes taught me:
- You can find joy in anything and everything. Mold your perspective to look for and appreciate the positives instead of obsessing over the negatives.
- No work is beneath us. Work is work. Respect and appreciate the garbage cleaner just as much as you would your manager.
- Be grateful for your circumstances. We have absolutely no control over how, where, to whom, and in what conditions we are born. Simple things like good food, a roof over our heads, and a loving family for granted are privileges we need to be grateful for.
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