3 Simple Advice for Having a Better Relationship

It just keeps getting better over the years

I (have) been married for almost thirteen years.

Before tying the knot, my wife and I knew each other for five years — that makes eighteen years of togetherness. I got to know better about my spouse and myself as time went by

My wife and I had highs and lows — but I praise God that we (are) enjoying every bit of it as we discover and try new things together.

I wish I would be able to summarize it in three main pointers. I know there is more to it — but allow me to highlight the meaty portions of our relationship.

Have a clear view of what you are getting yourself into

When we grew up — we had our mom and dads.

In school, we (were) asked to draw our family or bring a family picture. Being into a relationship and (marrying) looked like a norm to each of you.

But be mindful that whatever is usual — do not get into a serious relationship or marriage because it is the tradition.

Enter into a commitment because you love the person.

I knew friends closer to their 40s– and people around them kept asking why they were not yet married. There (were) times friends (skip) events to stop hearing questions probing her life and situation.

When I was single for quite some time (thoughts) were running into my head that I might (be) seen as a loser.

Whenever I am out, my friends (had) somebody beside them. There is something in me that felt insecure in those moments.

What if that friend got married for the sake of getting married?

What if I had forced my way to get someone beside me — even in reality — I do not feel like it.

One thing is for sure; things will end up in a disaster.

Both decisions will ruin my life and other people’s — merely because we are getting ourselves into the wrong reasons.

Do not mix up intimacy and commitment.

I would recall my getting involved seriously during my earlier relationships.

The thought of being in a fairy tale story — everything seemed magical in the first few weeks. After getting mushy — and all that cutesy stuff, my exes and I got exposed.

The magical feeling went off.

We were trying to argue and prove things with our own set of eyes and views. Until those relationships slowly fell off.

Now that I am older — got a clearer view of being intimate versus committed. My wife and I had a series of misunderstandings.

There were feelings of sweetness — and there (were) times it felt like blah. We learned that feelings could be deceiving if we do not guard our hearts. Whatever we feel during a period, we stick to each other.

We are committed to staying together — it is the promise we make to each other.

Never hide anything, be transparent.

Relationship counselors say that when you are open to talking (about) money, you can talk about anything.

There is some truth in it — and I can vouch for it.

If there were ill feelings we had and left unsettled, I would tell my spouse during our quiet times together. Discuss it when you are both in a good mood.

Set an environment of openness so that both of you can improve. You can never settle things between the two of you by merely consulting other people. End of the day, it is between him and you.

My spouse has access to my phone — and anything I own.

As the saying goes, if you hide something — it is a prelude to destroying the relationship gradually.

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