3 Signs You’re a Mentally Strong Entrepreneur

The little known behaviors of truly successful people

Research shows the Bureau of Labor Statistics said 70% of business owners fail. All by their 10th year in business.

What most people don’t know is the underlying reason for why this is the case.

While poor strategy is often the reason, there’s a deeper question to ask.

Why is it that most entrepreneurs are executing on bad strategies?

Because here’s the irony.

I’ve coached thousands of business owners and they already knew the best practices! Something much deeper was going on that was keeping them stuck.

That’s when I realized it a shocking truth.

Research has shown that for about 70% of our adult lives, our brains higher functions are OFF. This includes our critical thinking skills, revenue generation skills, and problem solving skills.

This is because of something called VUCA.

Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity

In the leadership space, we abbreviate these elements VUCA.

Your brain likes to avoid VUCA at all costs.

This is because our cavemen and cavewomen ancestors avoided any uncertain territory. In unknown areas, they faced the risk of getting killed by a wild animal.

This survival instinct passed on in our brains through many generations.

Our brain’s are always prioritizing to make sure we don’t die.

But here’s the problem.

When your brain is in a survival state due to feeling threatened, you cannot think.

Because in a real life-or-death situation, taking the time to think can kill you.

So you enter into a mode where you are reacting without thinking.

But when it comes to entrepreneurship, we need our brains higher functions to be on. That way we can make the best decisions for the company.

Believe it or not, most entrepreneurs are not in their highest levels of thought.

And mistakes get made. Scandals get exposed. Team cultures die out.

This is not because their lives are in danger. It’s because of how much pressure and stress they experience daily.

Research indicates that emotional pain can be as painful as physical pain.

So the brain tends to get fooled into thinking uncomfortable emotions are life-threatening.

But the moment you enter into a survival state, you can’t think straight.

Stress, frustration and anxiety has become the daily experience of our society.

It’s no wonder we’re not able to perform at our best.

When in your survival mode, it will be the cause of your failure.

Survival state causes you to make short-sighted decisions.

And when your brain is so focused on itself because it thinks it’s about to die, you can’t be in a state of empathy.

When you’re not empathetic, it prevents you from helping the person you need to help most. Your customers.

And the moment you stop providing value by solving a problem, there’s no reason for your business to exist.

The Brain in Survival State

Our survival state reacts only in one of three ways: Fight, flight, or freeze.

We react to our unwanted feelings by fighting to get rid of it. For example, this can look like overworking. But since our brains higher critical thinking centers aren’t on, we work hard on the wrong things.

Or we go into flight from the feeling. This often looks like procrastination. It’s due to the fear of getting judged, not being ready, or making mistakes. We can even flee into overworking to avoid feeling the feelings. Or we numb ourselves with intentional distractions and addictions.

We freeze by not taking actions or making decisions when needed. This is often due to feeling an immense amount of overwhelm.

Mentally strong entrepreneurs know how to prevent themselves from getting into survival state.

Mentally Strong Entrepreneurs Learn How To Handle Emotional Stress

To access your brain’s executive functions, you need to be mentally strong.

So many success stories are of resilience, perseverance, and grit. They get through tough times. But how exactly do they do it?

Most people don’t realize mental resilience is not something you’re born with.

It is something you learn to develop.

In horror films, there’s usually a false scare scene. Where the music starts getting intense and the bushes start rustling in the dark forest. If you keep watching though, then out pops the cute little critter and you no longer feel scared.

Imagine watching the same scene hundreds of times. At some point you’ll know it’s nothing to be afraid of and stop feeling scared of it.

The problem is this often is happening in our own minds.

The moment an uncomfortable emotion begins to surface, we react to it before even seeing what it is.

And like you can train yourself to not be afraid of the false scare scenes, you can do the same with your discomfort.

You can train yourself to do this.

Just like you can train at the gym to get physically stronger, you can train your brain to get mentally stronger.

When you do this, you reactivate all the most powerful functions of your brain.

So what’s the first step to becoming mentally stronger?

It’s awareness.

And the first thing to start being aware of is what being mentally strong even looks like.

All entrepreneurs I’ve met that developed mental strength have the three following characteristics.

#1 The Mentally Strong Take Ownership of Their Worries

As a parent, I often thought I worried about my kids because I cared about them.

But, my survival brain is actually worried about how I would feel if that thing I fear happens to my children.

To become mentally stronger, we must go within when we worry.

First to acknowledge our fears of being unloved, alone, not good enough, etc.

I realized I had these fears when reacting to my child’s discomfort. I noticed that whenever one of my kids melt down, I’d immediately react to try and pacify them. Whether it’s give them a sweet treat or try to distract them with television.

What that teaches the child is that the emotions they are feeling are “bad”.

This makes them learn to avoid hard feelings rather than deal with them. They don’t get mentally stronger at all.

When reflecting on why I react to their discomfort, I realized it’s because it’s how I deal with mine.

So when I try to get them to stop crying, it’s for selfish reasons. I wanted my anxiety or stress to go away. And because my brain is in survival in that moment, I’m not accessing my empathy. Which means I’m disconnecting from my child in the moment.

Taking ownership of your own worries means you have the ability to not react to discomfort.

When you do this, you’re able to provide the support someone needs from a place of true empathy and compassion.

This is why some of the greatest leaders I’ve met stay calm no matter how volatile the circumstances get. And being there is what helps them access their brains powerful executive state.

#2 The Mentally Strong Don’t Blame Others For How They Feel

When my daughter didn’t listen to me, I used to say “You’re making me so mad right now”.

But imagine my daughter accepts this as truth. That she alone can be the cause of someone else’s feelings.

How might that impact her as an adult?

What if she ends up working for an unethical boss who demands her to overwork? Because she’s afraid of “making” her boss mad, she’ll comply even though she doesn’t want to.

Or even worse, what if she ends up with a partner that pressures her to do things she doesn’t want to? She’ll be in a relationship where she constantly says yes when she wants to say no.

I realized my anger was due to the meaning I give the experience in the moment.

I wasn’t mad because my daughter wasn’t listening to me. I was getting mad because the meaning I was giving it was she’s not listening because I’m a bad father.

I was sensitive of being perceived this way because I had a rough relationship with my own father. He left our family when I was a teen.

And I used to think resentful thoughts that if I’m ever a dad, I wouldn’t be a bad one like him.

So I learned to change my language to “I’m feeling upset right now” and practice empathy by taking the blame away from her.

Mentally strong people take full ownership of their own emotions. When leader’s share with me that their team is pissing them off, this is why I invite them to explore what meaning they may be giving the experience.

That way, they practice holding themselves responsible for the fact that they play a significant role in creation of their own emotions.

#3 The Mentally Strong Prioritize a Healthy Relationship With Themselves

A leader once asked the question “Would you go out with yourself?”

I remembered this question felt like a punch in the gut. The first reason was because I noticed my reactive answer to this question was no.

But the second and bigger reason was because a big truth hit me.

I could claim I do nice things for my loved one because I love them so much, but if I don’t love myself, I’m doing it for me. Not them.

Because I struggled with a belief that “I don’t matter”. I learned the reason I tend to overgive is because I hope it will make me matter.

This makes the relationship transactional.

I knew this was true because when I’d get into an argument with my wife, I start bringing up all the things I’ve done for her. If I truly gave from a place of generosity, I wouldn’t feel the need to bring past things up and hold it against her.

We are only capable of loving others as much as we love ourselves.

This is why self-aware people are great at setting boundaries to fill their own cup in order to authentically give to others.

They understand prioritizing their own replenishment helps them move back into the higher functions of their brains.

And they do so way before they reach empty.

Why Mental Strength is The Key To Lasting Success

Bruce Lee once said “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”

When we get stronger, things do tend to become easier.

When building your own business, you tend to come face to face with your discomfort. All the fears, insecurities and doubts.

But when you develop the mental strength to take clear and powerful action despite the challenges, you grow.

Make this decision prioritize the growth of your mental strength. The moment you do so, you significantly increase the chances of growing not just your business. But you also find growth in your life as a whole.

How to Activate Your Brain’s Hidden Powers Using Neuroscience

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