3 Signs That You’re Working Yourself to the Brink of Burnout
And how to rein in workaholism.
“I can’t take it anymore,” I texted her.
I felt as though my brain would explode from overdrive. There were too many things to do, too much to control. I had three jobs now, all remote, and I spent the whole morning coming up with a new business.
“What would happen if you stopped creating new projects?” she asked.
I don’t know. Maybe nothing. Or maybe I’ll die. For me, creating new ideas is like breathing. Taking on new challenges is what I should do, or at least that’s what I told myself for a long time.
My mind keeps telling me that if I stop running, I’ll fall. That if I stop coming up with ideas, taking on new projects, I’ll somehow fail in other people’s eyes.
I leaned back on the couch and started thinking about how I can get out of this mess.
3 Signs You’re Pushing Yourself Too Hard
- You are constantly stressed and overwhelmed
- But you think you’re not doing enough
- You feel like life is going past you, you have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), and it’s killing you
I am a pro at pushing myself too hard. My younger sister is way more chill than I am. She doesn’t need anybody to tell her to calm down. She has another problem: she can’t motivate herself enough.
It’s funny how both different and similar we are.
People like me? We are Type-A. We thrive at pushing ourselves over the limit, and we can command our brains to do anything we need to. Jog every day in -3 C? No problem. Have three jobs and want another one? Yes! (Because only three jobs is for suckers!)
We take on a bunch of projects because we think that’s what others want from us (our colleagues, friends, family). And when we fail under pressure, we start blaming ourselves for being weak.
For people like us, self-motivation is not a problem. Stopping is. Relaxing is. Calming down and unwinding is.
But that’s exactly what we need.
What Would Happen If You Did Nothing?
I’ve been thinking for a long time where this desire to over-achieve comes from.
On the one hand, it’s a great thing: you can do a lot of stuff, and you’re very productive. On the other hand, it’s preventing you from living like a normal person.
You don’t have friends. You don’t have a life. And you’re constantly tired.
And for what? To fulfil your expectations? (that are way over the head anyway). Psychologists would say that we govern ourselves the way our parents once governed us.
But what would actually happen if you did nothing?
If I’m really honest with myself, I’ll say that I’m afraid nobody will love me. After all, if I don’t achieve, don’t create new things and don’t do more — why should other people love me?
The Real Problem
The problem is not in being Type-A, per se, it’s in the feeling of dissatisfaction. We’re living in a world that puts the word ‘more’ on a pedestal: more money, more stuff, more projects, more working hours, more, more, more…
But what if we listened to Marcus Aurelius for once?
‘Less is more.’
What if we could stop coming up with ideas and projects — and take care of ourselves for a change? What if we could just stop and try to find harmony and balance in whatever it is we’re already doing?
The real problem is not in doing or overworking. That’s manageable, and lately, I learned never to sabotage my sleep.
The problem is the lack of self-love.
Some people do physical harm to themselves, and they need serious professional help. But what about Type-As out there, who do emotional harm to themselves? What about people who exhaust themselves on a treadmill after an 8-hour workday because they told themselves they need to?
Do we need help, too?
The Cure
‘I realized that without years in one place, I could do everything right, but my efforts would not have the necessary time to take root. I could fail my goals due to impatience.’ — Wealthy Gardener
I told myself that this year (that would be 2020), I’d be very boring. That’s right: bo-ring.
I’ll not start anything new. Instead, I’ll stick to what I’ve already started. I’ll not take on new jobs. I’ll not seek new opportunities. I’ll reap what I can from what I’m already doing.
Because as any Type-A would know, taking on new challenges feels exhilarating. The problem is, if all you do is take challenges and not finish them — you’ll end up nowhere.
I want to see where life takes me, if I don’t come up with anything new, and seek to find satisfaction in what I’m already doing. Maybe it’ll help.
“You need to relax,” she said to me, once we met. I stopped googling ‘self-pressure’ on my iPhone and looked at her.
“I know. But it’s not as easy as it seems,” I said. Although, on second thoughts, perhaps it is.