3 Signs That You Are About To Date A Needy Shit
It has been a while since I have been on the market. I can now happily report to you that I am not in the dating pool anymore. As I have said, there’s someone for everyone out there.
In my younger years, I would go on dates with my boyfriend once or twice a week and be perfectly content with that arrangement. I am the type of girl that doesn’t need to see her boyfriend every day. I am happily content spending time alone.
However, I must admit that I have done my part in dating needy little shits. Therefore, believe me when I say this; unless the needy little shit is Mr. RIGHT, being needy is always a turn-off.
I know what you are thinking… Why would you date a needy little shit if you didn’t want this to begin with? Well, Karen, nobody advertises this undesirable quality at the beginning of a relationship. Everything seems to go well until it isn’t anymore. There are subtle little signs here and there that we tend to ignore, as some of us are pussy or, in my case, dick whipped. Let us start going down the list of signs, to help your dumb ass see right through the charade.
- When the first date is over, and he or she texts you within 5 minutes to tell you that they had a good time or that they miss you, it’s cute…isn't it? It sure would be if you were 85 years old and time isn’t going to be a friend of yours. Trust me, if you have only known them for a few hours and they are already bombarding you with text messages, it is not going to calm the fuck down. Unfortunately, I must admit, that women are huge offenders of this, and for the love of God, it must stop.
Needy Fuckometer score out of ten: 7
2. The two of you have been dating for a week and she or he shows up unannounced at your work with some kind of subway sandwich that you don’t even like. They don’t miss you. They don’t care that you are hungry. What they do want is to piss all over their territory (that is you), to make sure that nobody will come within 10 feet of you. Still, find them cute? Stop being delusional. Before you know it, your relationship will be Facebook official against your own accord, you will have relationship stickmen plastered to the back of your black Mustang and share a phone plan with someone whose middle name you don’t even know!
Needy Fuckometer Score out of ten: 9
3. You have been only dating for a few weeks but there are hundreds…I repeat hundreds of photos on her or his social media. This should be an obvious one, but for some of you simpletons, it needs to be stamped on your forehead. I can’t even begin to tell you how deranged and needy that is. They might as well shave off your pubs and stuff them into a pillow for bedtime. This is the reddest flag you can get. It’s a “pack your shit, grab your balls and run as fast as you can for the hill” situation. I don’t care how good the coitus is, you must stop seeing this person immediately and move to a different zip code altogether. Good Luck with that by the way.
Needy Fuckometer Score out of ten: 11
One thing that you must possess when looking for these signs, is awareness. If you have awareness, you will see these early signs, be able to detach and run away like the lucky bastard that you strive to be. If you don’t have awareness, you will, unfortunately, miss all the signs and hence, you will be fucked. You will end up with a phone full of text messages, a 6-inch tuna subway at work, and hundreds of photos on Facebook, that you will be tagged in. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you…don’t even go there…