Summary

The article argues that the concept of a "work family" is misleading and inappropriate, as work relationships are fundamentally different from familial bonds, driven by self-interest, performance, and the reality of business operations.

Abstract

The author of the article reflects on their experiences across various companies, initially finding the notion of a "work family" appealing but later recognizing it as a misnomer. The article emphasizes that while close relationships at work can be beneficial, they are not equivalent to family ties. The author points out that the use of "work family" can lead to overworking employees, blur the boundaries between personal and professional life, and create unrealistic expectations of loyalty and unconditional support. Instead, the author suggests that viewing work relationships as a sports team is more accurate, with clear understanding of roles, performance expectations, and the possibility of transition without guilt.

Opinions

The author believes that the term "work family" is misleading and can lead to unrealistic expectations, such as equal treatment and sharing, which are not reflected in the workplace.
They argue that the concept of a "work family" can be used by companies to justify overworking employees and to manipulate them into feeling obligated to prioritize work over personal life.
The author criticizes the backstabbing and intense competition that arise during performance reviews and promotions, contrasting this with the support one would expect from a real family.
They highlight the cold and impersonal nature of redundancy, particularly when it occurs during traditionally family-oriented times like the holiday season, as evidence that businesses prioritize profit over employee well-being.
The author notes that loyalty in the workplace is conditional and that both employees and employers will act in their own best interest, such as when employees leave without proper handovers or when companies lay off staff without regard for personal circumstances.
The article suggests that while building strong relationships at work is important for career growth, one should not feel guilty about pursuing personal career goals, including leaving for better opportunities.
The author endorses the sports team analogy for work relationships, as it acknowledges the importance of teamwork and individual performance while maintaining clear boundaries and the option to change teams without negative feelings.

3 Reasons Why There Is No Such Thing as a ‘Work Family’

Your boss has a favorite child

I have worked for a host of diverse companies in different industries. Every one of them has at least once uttered the phrase, “we are all one big happy work family”. At first, I found it endearing. Now, it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

It’s a nice idea. Forming close relationships, working together to achieve shared goals, and looking out for each other are indeed good things. But is the term ‘work family’ really appropriate? I have found the whole concept a tad misleading.

If our work team is our family, our colleagues are our brothers and sisters and our bosses are our parents. I was always told it was wrong to have a favorite child, so why does my younger sister get a bigger bonus than me? Yes, she may perform better and do a lot more work than me but we’re family, no? Sharing is caring.

On a serious note, when I first joined the workforce I bought into the idea of the work family. I got along very well with my colleagues and liked how we would cover for each other and have each other's backs in meetings with difficult clients. Maybe these experiences made me naive. I would work late when we had deadlines even when others members of the family didn’t. I would help colleagues by picking up more of the work, despite not receiving any extra reward or praise for doing so. As I have navigated my way through my career, I quickly wised up and soon realized that there was no such thing as a work family after all.

At the end of the day, we are all in it to make money and provide for our ACTUAL families. We are taking action and forming relationships for self-interest. That’s the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so.

Do Companies use the term ‘work family’ to justify overworking employees?

Using the label work family can make people feel obliged to work longer hours as they don’t want to disappoint their work parents. Fast Company summed this up well:

When I hear a leader tell their employees, “We’re a family,” my mind immediately goes to, “you’re not respecting your workers’ boundaries.”

The term work-family can blur the line between work life and personal life. We need to keep work and personal life separate as they are indeed two different things. At the end of the day, your work family will judge you on productivity and performance and will not love you unconditionally as a real family should.

Shopify CEO hit headlines when he sent an email to management expressing how they are not a family, but a sports team. I feel like this is a better way to describe working relationships. Sports teams must work together to compete and win. At the end of the day, everyone knows their place. And everyone knows results are key. If I don’t perform, I will be put on the bench. I must work harder to improve. But if there is another team that shows interest in me and is a better fit, I can transfer. No hard feelings. No pressure. When work is over I can disconnect and spend time with my actual family. Guilt-free.

My personal experience has made me immune to the notion that there is such a thing as a work-family. Here are 3 reasons why:

1. Performance reviews and promotions

You will never see so much backstabbing in your life from those closest to you in the office when it's bonus time or an internal promotion is up for grabs. If my actual family treated me this badly, I would be very concerned. It is all fun and games until money and status are on offer. Then self-interest kicks in.

A bit of healthy competition is fine. Even within a real family. But this is on another level. Like a fight to the death. What happened to our big happy family?

2. The coldness of redundancy

Always remember business is business. Don’t forget this. And don’t take anything personally.

I recall working for a tech giant and the brutality of redundancy was like nothing I have ever seen in the workplace.

We were all preparing for a winter break. It was the week before Christmas. Spirits were high. In fact, we had just had the work Christmas party the previous day. There was a real buzz in the office. And then all I remember is looking across the office to see one of my work colleagues crying. We were all concerned.

She was asked there and then to pack up all her stuff and leave, as it was her last day. We all couldn't believe it and didn't know what to say. Five more people that day we also let go in a similar ruthless fashion. Two of them were on holiday so found out over email. And then when they called their manager, he refused to take their calls. Never seen such cowardly behavior in my life. So much for Christmas cheer.

3. Your family will abandon you if they get a better offer

I have also experienced many of my office kin leave the family and never return. Have seen this time and time again. Whether this was my work parents or brothers and sisters, at some point someone will leave the nest. And never look back. Sometimes, this was very unexpected. I have had times where people would not work much of their notice as they had holidays to take, leaving us left to pick up the slack. No handover. Barely a goodbye. All those hours spent together, covering for one another, and then they ended it like that. At the drop of a hat.

Again, you can’t blame them. They have their reasons. You need to be stoic about it. Adapt and move on.

Never forget, your career is YOURS and no one else’s.

I am not saying you should keep your guard completely up and avoid building close relationships with people at work. In fact, quite the opposite. Cultivating strong relationships is extremely important for your career trajectory. Continue to develop solid relationships with work colleagues. You never know who may be able to help you in the future. I have had very helpful ex-colleagues who have recommended me for other work and actually got job offers through their recommendations alone.

Just remember to prioritize your career and never feel guilty about leaving if you get a better offer or want a career change. Your closest work relatives would do the same thing in a heartbeat.

And remember, if they really are your work family, they will understand and support your decision.