Summary

The article argues that romantic movies have skewed perceptions of romance, leading to unrealistic expectations in real-life relationships.

Abstract

The author of the article contends that the portrayal of romance in films has negatively impacted society's understanding of true love. They assert that the idea of a perfect love story, as often depicted in "chick flicks," is unrealistic and sets up individuals for disappointment. The article outlines three main reasons why romantic movies have "ruined" romance: firstly, they promote the notion that one can script their romantic journey, which is not reflective of real-life unpredictability; secondly, they create an illusion of a "happily ever after" without acknowledging the continuous effort required to maintain a relationship; and thirdly, they overlook the importance of communication and the necessity of having honest conversations about life goals and desires. The author emphasizes that real romance is about compatibility, communication, and the willingness to work through challenges together.

Opinions

Romantic movies instill a fairytale concept of love that does not align with the realities of building a relationship.
Expecting life to mirror the romantic narratives seen in films can lead to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction.
True romance involves unplanned moments and cannot be orchestrated like a movie script.
Relationships require effort beyond the initial stages of attraction and chemistry.
The "happily ever after" depicted in movies is a myth; real relationships involve ongoing work and cannot be edited like a film.
Communication is key to a successful relationship, and individuals must be willing to have open and sometimes uncomfortable conversations.
Understanding one's own life goals and principles is crucial before seeking compatibility with a partner.
Over-idealizing relationships can prevent the development of healthy, realistic partnerships.

3 Reasons Why Romantic Movies Ruined Romance

And why you need to wake up from the fairytale.

It’s the month of love and as any living individual we are bombarded with declarations of love. Whether you see Instagram stories of beautiful roses, dinner Valentine’s Day posts or boxes of chocolates, we can’t seem to escape the idea of “perfect true love story”. But is today’s romantic relationship the archetype of real romance?

You might get distracted by your inner voice saying “NO”, right? Guys are not how they used to be. They don’t seem to be popping up at your front door in a limo with balloons and champagne like Mr. Big or proposing on the top of Empire State building like in “Love Affair”. But do you actually know what real romance actually is?

Why we crave the ultimate love story

Let’s face it. No matter how you view relationships, whether you are a traditionalist (like myself) or a nonconformist, being in love and receiving love is a basic natural need every human being has.

But how many of us have had their perspective towards love changed?

Growing up, I had installed in my brain this concept of love as a fairytale. As a teenager, I was infatuated by this idea that there is a soulmate for every person and that when true love hits, you just know. My source was as based as any other: chick flicks!

Stop rolling your eyes and get to my 3 reasons why romantic movies killed the real life romance:

1. You can’t write the script of your relationship

You can’t plan where you’ll meet him/her. If you dream of your perfect partner jumping up your window one morning while you’re reading your e-mails for your meeting, well, you are wrong.

You can’t plan ahead the course of your relationship. If you dump a guy when he doesn’t get your favourite flowers on the first date, you are wrong again.

Unrealistic expectations of our standards when it comes to falling in love are ridiculous. Life just happens. And no, some of us don’t get love poems or don’t want to be showered in gifts because we are real people living real lives.

In real life, couples don’t get a step-by-step tutorial to how they should act towards another. You’ll face difficult conversations, disagreements, compromises and by doing so, you’ll know if it’s worth it.

2. You have to live the happily ever after

Have you ever wondered what happens after the happy ending of a romantic movie? Do Allie and Noah stay together or get a divorce?

No relationship can be perfect from start to finish. You have to work (sometimes, harder than others) in order to live your fairytale. Real people can’t repeat scenes if there’s a blooper. You don’t have a delete tab to undo things in real life. If you screw it up, you have to face the consequences.

3. You need to have the real talks

“If he/she truly loves me, won’t they know what I want?”

No. You have to speak up.

It might sound like a pure cliché, but the key to real relationships is communication. You have to initiate the real talk. What are you life goals? Do you want children or not? Do you see yourself married in the next 5 or 20 years? Or never?

Of course, you’ll have to know your answers to these questions before applying this “interrogation” on your partner.

After passing the boundary of chemistry, you need to review the compatibility between you and your partner. You need to express your principles, your desires and your plans, if you truly want them in your future.

You need to have uncomfortable conversations in order to see if he/she truly is the one for you. If not, then you’ll save yourself time, energy and heartache long before attaching to the wrong person.

Waiting for the fairytale is unrealistic, but creating your real love story is completely doable.

Let’s stop overidealizing our relationships and start building healthy ones, keeping it real.