3 Reasons Why I’ve Been Ceaselessly Recommending “They Said This Would Be Fun” To Everyone

I’m not kidding, read it, now!

Book: They Said This Would Be Fun Author: Eternity Martis

[1] There Is So Much To Learn About Memoir Writing

Of the memoirs I’ve read thus far, this one has been the most creative to read. Chapters are arranged differently and told in a narrative style fitting to the theme at hand. For example, part of her story is written as a play, particularly in illustrating one of her relationships. Some more serious topics include a useful compilation of statistics using examples across Canada.

Most of all, a number of the chapters end with a quick “survival guide for token university students”. They’re somehow both cathartic and evoke a wincing reaction from me. The guides are meant to be sarcastic, illustrating just how uncomfortable and awkward being placed in racist situations is, and what a lot of people of colour have been pushed to do just to smooth over that awkwardness.

I think most people would have much to draw from the content from this book, but I wanted to make sure that the craft and technique behind it weren’t lost in the discussion either.

Reflection prompt: What memoirs have stood out to you in the past? Which techniques did you draw from their writing styles? What helps storytelling in memoir or personal essay writing?

[2] Our Experiences Were So Similar

Part of the reason I’ve been ceaselessly recommending this to everyone and anyone is just how well she depicts the “Canadian version” of racism. Too often, discussions about racism in Canada devolve into comparisons with the States. Too often, I hear this narrative:

Oh but we’re not as bad as [insert some other country] because we’re nice and we have good intentions!

I think some people pitch this narrative as a “Goldilocks ‘just right’ middle ground”, which is flawed. Yes, in comparison to examples of racism in the form of physical aggression elsewhere, someone asking me “where are you from from” doesn’t actually put me in danger. However, it doesn’t mean Canada has been exempt from racial violence. Excusing racism that doesn’t put someone in immediate danger “as long as they were trying to be nice” also continually perpetuates that exclusion. It means that people cling to “I was trying to be nice” and never change that behaviour because they continue to justify that it’s okay as long as their intentions are good.

Her encounters with racism exemplify this. From being asked for “permission” as some sort of odd representation of everyone of her race, to being automatically expected to shrink in space on sidewalks — she details an experience that was all too familiar.

In a way, I was recommending this book to people who ceaselessly posted on social media about how “woke” they are yet were stuck on dismissing their own actions because of “good intentions”. If they wouldn’t hear my story, maybe they would finally hear the words from someone far more eloquent at storytelling.

Reflection prompt: How do you respond to the feedback that something was offensive / racist / uncomfortable? To what degree do you focus on your own intention and how have you balanced this with reacting to and supporting the person who is bringing up this feedback? In the future, how would you like to react instead? What systemic safeguards should be built to avoid future perpetuation of microaggressions?

In the past, how have people responded to feedback when you noted that something was offensive / racist / uncomfrotable? How would you have preferred them to react? What systemic safeguards do you think should be in place to avoid the perpetuation of microaggressions?

[3] Yet Our Experiences Were So Different

Noting that in the previous paragraph, I was calling out people who virtue signal but don’t follow through, reading this book was an exercise in reflecting on what privileges I’ve had despite facing certain types of oppression. Reading this book was part of my own anti-racism work to do too.

Being the daughter of a Pakistani mother and Jamaican father, but growing up and spending more time with her Pakistani family, she may have grown up with the concerns and values of her maternal side of the family, she still moved through the world as Black person. This meant her experiences did not fully overlap with the rest of her family, and there were instances where her family didn’t fully understand her experiences given her biracial identity.

Though I found myself in her stories of microaggressions, I’ve not encountered the same level of racial violence she had been through. Understanding those nuances are crucial in developing self-awareness of naming these racist incidents when they happen to Black people without diluting those stories through trying to mix in the experiences of broader terms like BIPOC, POC.

I reflect on the times I’ve been too loud in a space not meant for me (and meant for others’ healing and understanding), and will continue to reflect on no longer doing so.

Reflection Prompt: Reflect on your social location and where you stand in relation to others in discussions of oppression. What are you vocal about? Whose voices are missing from what you consume or who you support? How might you go about incorporating more of a balanced view?

In conclusion, this is definitely a book I recommend, especially for the craft and especially for the lived experiences told that are often washed aside.

Note on reflection prompts: Feel free to submit your reflection prompts anywhere. The Brain is a Noodle currently publishes poetry, shortform or essays that are direct responses to published prompts.

Hi I’m Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她) and I’m on a mission to reflect on all the books I read in 2021 as a way to actively engage with the material I absorb instead of passively letting them wash over me.

I’m tracking these articles here:

The previous reflections include:

Another author you should check out is Allison Gaines: