3 Powerful Quotes To Overcome Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts take no prisoners — however, thoughts are just passing events

Tina barely made it to shore. She had gotten caught in a dangerous current and was struggling to keep her head over water. Meanwhile, her mother, Claudia, was sitting on the beach, thinking Tina was waving to her in joy. By the time Tina finally made it back to the beach, she was strained but not exhausted enough not to get angry at her parents, who were sitting peacefully in their sunchairs. She screamed at them for not helping her when she was in danger, although she had indeed waved for help. I don’t know what Claudia must have felt at that moment. But I can imagine she must have felt like the worst mother of all time. But I can’t confirm that, since my mother, Claudia’s best friend, didn’t tell me.

When my mom told me, I didn’t fully understand what was going on — I think I was about twelve and didn’t really understand why. But for some reason, this story has resonated deeply with me. Out of all the stories, rumors, and tales floating around in our household, this was one of the most impactful ones.

Maybe it’s because this story has become the story that perfectly explains the inner turmoil I sometimes experience. To me, this story is fitting on different levels. Swimming against waves of negative emotions is tiring and makes you feel like you are drowning. Another parallel that stood out to me was that while Tina was waving for help, her mother thought she had fun. How often do we have phases when we are actually not in an excellent mood but still appear to the outside world as if everything is okay? We go about our lives all smiles until everything is too much and we are swept away by a wave. Unfortunately, I feel like lately, negative thoughts and feelings keep sweeping me off my feet.

The fact that I feel as if negative feelings predominate is also due to human nature. Research has shown that we need to experience three positive emotions for every negative one to balance emotions. Apparently, our brains favor bad over good feelings to protect us from danger. However, this wiring, so-called negativity bias, proves to be increasingly counterproductive in today’s world.

The power of forgiveness

How can we counteract this inherent tendency? Are there ways in which we can consciously try to stop or minimalize this negativity bias?

Yes, to a certain extent, this is indeed possible. We can actively learn forgiveness as a way to deal with the adversities of life. When we can accept adverse events as such and are at a point where we can let go of the negative feelings they bring, that’s when we’ve achieved true forgiveness. According to research, forgiving improves our social, emotional, and physical welfare. However, it takes a lot — the greater the injury, the longer and more winding the road to forgiveness is.

“You can’t forgive without loving. And I don’t mean sentimentality. I don’t mean mush. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, ‘I forgive. I’m finished with it.” — Maya Angelou

However, I have difficulties consciously close the door on negative feelings. That’s when it’s really over. I have caught myself time and again shying away from doing just that — knowing that it is actually time to close a chapter. The benefits are clear, to have the chance of greater inner freedom in the present and future, it’s simply letting go of the past.

To overcome my inner resistance and at least try to get to the point where I am comfortable closing doors, I rely on this forgiveness meditation from the University of Minnesota for guidance. Ultimately, it is in my interest to end bad feelings around interpersonal messes.

The benefits of gratitude

Apart from forgiveness, gratitude plays a significant role in overcoming the negativity bias. Robert Emmons, perhaps the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, argues that gratitude has two key components. First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We acknowledge ourselves as superb human beings and express our gratitude by counting all the blessings and advantages. Secondly, gratitude also refers to the goodness that exists outside of ourselves, contributing to the goodness in our lives.

Various studies show that people who practice gratitude, meaning they consciously count their blessings, tend to be happier and less stressed. This is because they are more present and have shifted their focus away from the predominant bad to the good. Always remember: It takes three positive emotions to level out one bad one. By consistently writing about the good, the bad has to take a back seat. And it works.

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” — Melody Beattie

By practicing gratitude and acknowledging what is accurate, we can detach ourselves from toxic feelings. Although it takes time for the benefits of gratitude to become apparent, a Berkeley University study found that writing gratitude letters positively affects.

Striving for emotional resilience

Positive feelings have a scientific purpose: they help recover the body from the negative effects of long-term negative emotions. Consequently, fostering positivity over time will assist one in being more resilient in the face of adversity. Because, and we will certainly agree on this, difficult times are like waves. They come and go.

“Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.” ― Gever Tulley

The good news is that although we all have a negativity bias, we also can bounce back. Not only did Tina make it back to shore, but she still loves to swim in the ocean. As a matter of fact, she loves going back to this very beach in France, where she almost drowned. To her, it’s one of the most beautiful places on earth. And, according to her, now that she knows where the current is, it’s perfectly safe for her.

And indeed, some people look forward to challenging times with confidence and anticipation because they believe that their trials can lead to personal development and a broader perspective on life.