LEADERSHIP | BUSINESS | MYTHS

3 Pathetic Myths Of Leadership And How They Can F**k Your Head Big Time

Get a life first if you want to lead; there is no other way.

Do leaders really think that they are some sort of holy hermits on top of a marble pillar? Or even worse, do they believe they are the pillar holding sky in its place and not falling on us?

The myth of leadership paints these pictures of larger-than-life characters who take the burden of complex and unbelievable hard decisions on behalf of us, ordinary mortals, in their lonely and incredibly challenging role.

If they do think so, they are just romantic wankers who please themselves with leadership astrology so popular and widely spread in leadership literature.

In this article, I try to obliterate three of those hard-to-kill rabbits that are our leadership thinking habits. And in the end, I explain why we need to see leadership differently.

#1: Leadership is a lonely ride

I chatted with a newly appointed leader, a senior manager in a mid-size company. He was excited and a bit nervous because it was his first senior leadership role.

– ‘It is challenging to think that I need to make all these decisions alone now,’ he explained, ‘it was so easy when I was reporting to the GM, and I was able to discuss and use my GM as the bouncing wall, but now I am on my own.’

I looked at him for a while; obviously, a weird grin on my face made him feel uneasy because he asked, — ‘What’s wrong? Are you sick?

I then explained that the spasm on my face resulted from my utter apostasy of lonely leadership.

– ‘Don’t you now have your own leadership team to bounce your ideas with,’ I asked, ‘and how about your CEO and Senior Leadership Team? I guess they can also be beneficial.’

We discussed a bit more, and it was clear that he had stumbled upon the first myth of leadership and fallen on his face.

Leaders are not alone: they have their peers. And even the CEOs have their board and Chairperson to talk to. And if that’s not enough, they can always join the networks of same-level leaders. There are a lot of options.

So, it is a myth, and if you believe it, you just isolate yourself and make your life harder.

Build the networks, communicate with your peers and be open. That’s how the myth will change into a collaboration and contribution — it can even become a cross-pollination between different breeds of leaders and grow a lovely flower, i.e. transparent culture.

#2: Leadership is hard

Leaders often give an impression of busyness and an almost unbearable workload. If that’s the case, there is something wrong with the time management skills of that leader.

They may not be able to think clearly, either.

– ‘But what about those tricky decisions when you need to, for example, restructure and get rid of people,’ asked my friend, ‘I can see that there is one of those looming, and I am not sure how to handle it.’

Every hard decision is a result of the causality chain. A challenging business environment change, market movements, etc., can put leaders against the wall. However, those circumstances always result from bad choices and false assumptions leaders have made before the shit hits the fan.

It is a bit too late to cry lonely tears with a heavy heart when you have not had plans B, C, and D to mitigate risks and prepare for unexpected events.

And even if you have those ABCD plans and the fan still gets dirty, transparency is the best way to go. If you have done your homework, i.e. communicated, collaborated and let people have their say, you can get the buy-in, and the so-called hard decision becomes common sense.

Instead of having a myth of how hard leadership is, make your life easier by building trust. It pays back and reduces the need for being a dick, i.e. making hard decisions out of the blue — when it is usually too late.

#3: Leadership is a skill

Leadership means taking responsibility, being accountable and walking the talk. It is not a skill. It’s an attitude.

The skills so often mentioned as ‘leadership skills’ are just a camouflaged way to tell that there is some secret order of leadership that has power and magic over matter. There isn’t.

If you have an attitude to be in service, think clearly and strategically, collaborate, communicate, and contribute, you have enough skills to lead anything.

Then every skill you learn becomes a leadership skill. It’s as simple as that. Don’t believe everything HR tries to serve you on a costly plate as the leadership skills training.

And if there is an ultimate leadership skill, it is being a human with a warm heart, sharp mind and humble soul. That’s all you need to start with.

What, then, is leadership if not romantic wanking listed above?

Leadership is a balanced combination of nerves, heart and mind with passion, purpose and pursuit.

I even draw a little model of it below.

Make your pursuit an emotional journey with an intelligent mapping of the terrain and your road. Your pursuit should embrace everything your business is doing based on your purpose.

In leadership, passion is the first enabler

Without it, there is no leadership.

You cannot fake passion, but you can grow it. If you have nerves of steel but a big heart, you can build it without compromising anything.

Passion comes from your heart’s desires combined with uncompromising determination. It needs to be the fire in your belly and let it burn bright.

Finding your purpose and the purpose of your business is the most enlightening thing you can have

Your purpose in life must be grounded in ethics, morals and common sense. The same goes with your business: without a purpose, it will only be transactional money-making (or money-haemorrhaging) machine without any real impact (or bringing some unfortunate negative implications).

Your purpose comes alive when your heart is filled with aspiration, and your mind works the practicalities to fulfil your mission.

Pursuit is to you like feathers are to the bird’s wings

When you have set your mind to something and have the nerves to make it happen, your pursuits become the source of achievement and joy.

As you can see, leadership is not a skill but a combination of heart, mind and nerves to stay on the course and navigate to the destination.

I end with a quote from one of the best leadership experts, L. David Marquet:

“Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.” ― L. David Marquet, Turn the Ship Around!: A True Story of Turning Followers into Leaders.

I am a curiosity expert; if you want to know how I can help you to become a more curious leader, creative and confident thinker, book a free discovery meeting with me here.

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