Summary

The article provides guidance on how to avoid narcissistic writing by being humble, acknowledging imperfection, and fostering inclusivity.

Abstract

The author reflects on the narcissistic tone prevalent in writing and offers three strategies to avoid it. First, authors should write with humility and provide transparency about their successes, avoiding a condescending tone. Second, writers should embrace imperfection and share vulnerable experiences, including setbacks and mistakes. Third, the article suggests writers should aim to include and relate to their readers rather than positioning themselves as superior. The author emphasizes the importance of showing competence without arrogance, inviting collaboration, and sharing experiences authentically.

Opinions

The author believes that earlier writings lacked a friendly tone due to narcissism and has worked to correct this.
Narcissistic writing is characterized by an assumption of reader failure and a lack of empathy or understanding for different life circumstances.
Writers should not portray themselves as the ultimate authority but rather showcase their competence through research, results, and a track record of contributions.
Demanding perfection and not acknowledging life's unpredictability can alienate readers.
Vulnerability in sharing personal struggles and mistakes can foster a deeper connection with the audience.
Narcissistic writers tend to lead without considering others' perspectives, missing opportunities to bond with their audience over shared experiences.
The author observes a positive shift in the creator community towards documenting and learning, which promotes healthier self-expectations and reader relationships.
The example of Kayla Sullivan's viral Instagram video is used to illustrate effective writing strategies that resonate with readers and encourage community support.

3 Minuscule Tricks to Not Write Like A Narcissist

And you might become more like yourself on paper.

Those brave to write, more so, to hit publish, write in an air of narcissism.

It’s a must for me to call my earlier self out for this flaw. I’d wonder why I never had a steady home within an online community. The answer lay in my writing tone.

Here’s what I know, and you don’t, simpleton. Rather than, here’s how I solved my problem and how you might do the same.

Here’s how I’m trying to reflect my friendly side in text…

by getting ahead of these pitfalls.

1. Haute Ego.

You write as if readers will fail when they don’t complete a task, as you suggested. The end.

Even if you aren’t a fan of listicles, write like it's life, not a movie. Mention your privilege. Talk about how you got lucky. Invite readers behind the scenes to see how much you’ve committed to make a system work for you.

Remove audacity.

If you’re competent, show why. You can embed research links, have a profile filled with posts, or snaps of results. The easiest way to not appear as a narcissist when writing — is to allow freedom of opinion.

Don’t control everyone. Don’t self-title yourself as the best.

Though proof, prove yourself competent.

2. Serving Ideals.

Narcissists demand perfection.

Whoosh, to the excuses of readers, they ought to do better. How dare they spend weekend after weekend trying to forget your workweek? Then, impress people they don’t like while drowning in debt.

It’s okay to let readers (and yourself) know life won’t play out as envisioned. Current me? She would be more vulnerable in sharing. Let your audience know more than how to improve.

Where they most likely will realize plans are going downhill.
How it may feel to make mistakes. And the problems they’ll encounter along the way.

3. Always leading

Narcissists serve themselves only.

Nothing motivates them to be part of a team. You may not mean to close yourself off and appear better than others. But you aren’t conscious of how to include people in your successes, failures, or stories. As simple as ‘join me’ phrases are. You won’t know their impact until you become self-aware of impressions left by your words.

I see the switch happening in the creator space.

Creators post to document. Everything is subject to change because they are learning through action. It sets healthy self-expectations. So, you don’t force your lifestyle onto others who encounter your writing.

Proof in the social media wild

Here’s a viral example of these subtle tricks on display.

A mom went viral. She provided “excellent” advice on what to do if you and your kid don’t share the same last name. While dishing what works for her, the mom aces these subtleties.

She doesn’t just give a solution but adds competence via yourself and a mention of someone outside herself (her son).
She gives a shout-out to people like herself going through this struggle.
She welcomes others to share what worked for them.
She gets vulnerable with her emotions.
She speaks from experience.

Embedded in this line is a link to the Instagram video by Kayla Sullivan.

Below is the video’s script…

“Not my usual content, but I’m hoping this video helps people feel less alone. About three weeks ago I was crying and I was writing Christmas cards to my son’s teachers and feeling really embarrassed because I felt the need to put Alan’s mom in parentheses because my last name doesn’t match my son's. I was never married to my son’s father, but I did give my son his last name. I don’t regret that I don’t want to change it for a multitude of reasons. Thank you to the people who suggested that it’s just not something that I want to do, but what I do want to focus on is not focusing on the last name. So I just got engaged and I’m going to be taking his last name and his son has his last name. He also has a son and I don’t want my son to feel like the oddball out, so we will not be putting our last name on Christmas cards. I don’t want to.

Rugs or signs that say our last name because I don’t want my son to feel left out. There are other things that people suggested that I just thought were really beautiful and I wanted everyone to be part of this conversation. But it was all secretly in my inbox and other people asked Can you share the response and this just seemed like the best way to do it. So please comment on this video. If you did reach out to me or if you didn’t and you want to say something to make people feel better about this. I know it may sound silly. But a lot of people struggle with not having the same last name as their kid and it does hurt sometimes. So I just wanted to give people the opportunity to come here and look at these comments and feel alone because it really helped me. Thank you.” — Kayla Sullivan