3 Mindsets that Sets You Up for Failure

Evict these sneaky demons today

Have you set yourself up to fail?

I know, it’s a loaded question.

For the most part, I don’t think anyone purposely sets up to fail, yet there are subtle habits you inadvertently pander to that will end up in failure.

As one who has been working on a writing and art career for the past two years, I am definitely learning a thought or two that I have allowed to stall my efforts.

1. Allowing my emotions to rule.

As an INFP (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiver) personality type, I love connecting to my creations.

Side note: If you want to learn your personality type, get my FREE 5-Step Mini Roadmap and take the linked personality test.

Feelings are a language I speak very well. So much so, that I often found myself motivated by how I felt that day.

That may be okay for fashion style but not so great for productivity.

If you truly want to be and stay productive, you have to move from feelings to choice.

I don’t always feel like doing all the work associated with building an online career, but if I want the success that I say I want, that becomes a nonnegotiable.

It does feel good to do what you love. However, there will be aspects of the job that are just a pain in the proverbial butt.

Grab the coffee and get it done.

There will be lots of time to feel great when you see your bankroll going up, stress going down and your tan coming along nicely.

2. Allowing my mental dialogue to run a mock

As a sensitive child growing up in the Caribbean, there was a little quote we were taught for dealing with bullies.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words could never harm me.”

As an adult now, how I wish that was true.

Words can inflict more harm than sticks and stones. While you will eventually mend if physically hurt, mental sticks and stones can cause damage for years. They seep into your subconscious and eat away at your esteem one vowel at a time.

Before you know it, you have crafted your life around a false, negative, mental narrative that dictates your outlook on life. Worse yet, you feel validated by skewed evidence that appears to support your story.

I have received lots of lovely compliments about my writing and art. While I am grateful for the appreciation, I often find myself doubting my abilities.

Comparison traps are deadly, but I still often battle the internal critics screaming I am not good enough. Thoughts like imposter syndrome, failure, overwhelmed, lazy, amateur, stupid, and a host of other negative narratives were tearing me down and I was allowing it.

It is hard to create a positive life from a negative outlook.

Words matter and the words you tell yourself matter most.

• Take a mental check of your inner dialogue.
• Become conscious of the words feeding your mind.
• Can you turn them down to a more realistic, positive narrative?

It’s only a bad day, not a bad life. Sh*t happens. You get to choose how you respond to it.

3. Allowing myself to believe I am putting in the work.

I have a confession.

I have an unhealthy fascination with 600-pound stories.

While my own calorie count is questionable, watching what a human being is capable of consuming in one meal is morbidly riveting. One woman managed to eat a whole carrot cake. The whole damn cake and no sharing.

One common theme, however, is their reaction when they step on the scale after being given a mission to lose x amount of pounds in x amount of months.

They are given all the tools they need to achieve that goal but when the time comes to see the results of their efforts, no surprise, that they missed the mark by an underwhelming loss amount, or in some cases, gained weight instead.

Glazed and confused (donut pun intended) they sit in the doctor’s office mystified by their results. They were doing the work.

• The multiple cheat days did not count.
• They were stressed and had to eat the whole pizza.
• The scale was wrong and not working right.
• They were walking two minutes every day.
• Three minutes on a good day.
• They lost 6 pounds instead of the 60 but it was a loss. The doctor should be praising their effort.

The more I heard their excuses, I realized how I too was falling into the same line of thinking.

• I was doing the work. Why was I not getting the results?

When I started writing on Medium, I knew it was going to be a slow start. That is the nature of building a writing career.

At first, you will be bad.

Keep at it and practice with commitment, you can’t help but improve. Stick with it. The results will eventually come.

The results were not coming.

I felt stuck and a failure. I had all the tools and resources I needed from an amazing community. The steps were mapped out, so why were the results not matching my perceived effort?

TBH, I was not putting in quality work with the required time investment. I was allowing my emotions to dictate how I felt on any given day.

Rather than trust the process, like those 600-pound clients, I was putting in the bare minimum of effort and expecting maximum results.

My current feelings and mental narrative were given preference over doing what needed to be done.

You do not need to be crazy busy 24/7 to be successful but you do need to prioritize what you have to do to get the results you want. Once mapped out, do it.

You cannot feel or negatively think your way to success.

The scale shows if you are honestly putting in the work.

I was not and deep down, I knew it.

Rather than beat myself up over lack of progress, I can grow from here with a clearer mindset of what needs to be done and how I am going to do it.

You can learn a lot from failure but you don’t have to set yourself up for failure.

Train yourself to do the work even when you don’t feel like it. Take a break if you need it but never let procrastination become an excuse not to follow through.

Words matter. Keep your mental dialogue upbeat with gratitude and humility.

Things could always be worse. Honestly evaluate if you are putting in the work and not just skirting by.

Committed effort produces committed results.

You get what you work for not what you hope for.

One final word. Celebrate the small wins.

It shows progress.

Those victories will encourage you to keep going and can do more for your self-esteem and confidence than any motivational speech.

You are the only one who can get the results you want. Do it for you and want it badly enough to dedicate the resources needed. So I ask again, have you now set yourself up not to fail?

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