GROWTH | BOOKS | INSPIRATION

3 Little Books That Actually Helped a Self-Help Junkie Like Me

and that continue to open my mind, challenge me

You just want to be a better you — is it too much to ask?

Friends and colleagues seem to have their shit together, practically boiling over with confidence and an attitude that says, this world was made for me!

But you’re lacking in conviction. You try but there’s baggage with a capital B with your name engraved all over the tags. Try as you might, you’re just bogged down, in your own way, discontent and collecting evidence on all the ways mom and dad and your church and teachers didn’t properly prepare you to be an actual functioning adult in this oh so complicated world where street smarts are better currency than a degree in being a good little boy.

So Begins the Self-Help Journey

If you were nodding to some of the above, then possibly your 20s and 30s — hell, maybe even some of your 40s — were just like mine, with a nagging sense that you somehow didn’t have all the emotional tools to thrive, that you weren’t living up to your potential (at all) and that the career and self-fulfillment journey seemed to be littered with potholes.

Simply put, a lack of true self-esteem, self-confidence.

Nobody ever likes to actually admit that — you sound weak, like a dweeb.

But you want to improve and grow (without breaking the bank with one-on-one therapy all the time) so you allow yourself to read some self-help books — every era has those titles that break to the top. And a decade in, maybe two, you’re in the precarious position of having read so much on how to improve, (with little action), that you nervously dread that another fresh self-help book will actually depress you rather than help — as it stands there all shiny, telling you the same things those other 30 books did — and yet here you sit, kinda the same.

My bookshelf overflowed with:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The Secret

Think and Grow Rich

Rich Dad Poor Dad

The Four Agreements

How to Win Friends and Influence People

The Power of Intention

The Power of Now

The 4-Hour Workweek

The Alchemist

and a few directed more specifically to my artist’s heart:

Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, and

Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art.

I read and took notes on them all! All had good points. All were “right.” But I was an actor and voiceover narrator still struggling to make things happen, and so no, please don’t tell me about Atomic Habits, I can’t!, read!!, one!!!, more!!!! Just try and change my mind, change my life!

Austin Kleon’s Steal Like An Artist was somehow the exception.

It’s small and cute. Short and digestible. And he doesn’t take himself too seriously. It was the perfect book for a recovering people-pleaser and perfectionist, as the very title and concept reminds you that it’s all been done before and said before — possibly by people way more talented than you — and that all good artists steal, and then put their own spin on things.

Some of his best tips in Steal Like An Artist:

• Copy and steal from your artistic heroes
• MAKE things to figure out who you are, don’t wait to figure out who you are before you make things.
• Step away from the screen and use your hands to create

Check it out, seriously. It’s an easy read — mine is dogeared and highlighted with arrows and little asterisks next to the best points. This is the book that allowed me to stop taking myself so damn seriously, to stop waiting until the timing was ideal and everything was perfect before doing anything. And it can open your mind to better ways to operate as an artist.

But it was Austin’s second book, Show Your Work! that also assaulted my perfectionist nature and every procrastination excuse (used for decades). Notice the emphatic exclamation point. It’s also a quick-though-engaging read, but this addressed the bigger emotional challenge, for it involved taking actions — actions that will get your presence, your work, out there.

Some of the best tips in Share Your Work!

• Your next boss doesn’t have to read your resume if she’s already following your blog.
• Think about what you want to learn, then make a commitment to learning it publicly in front of others.
• Become a documentarian of what you do — turn your daily flow into stock, an inventory of content that’s relevant now and later.
• The moment you learn something, teach what you know; share your reading list, take people through the process.
• You want hearts, not eyeballs.

Great stuff — which I resisted for more years than I’d like to admit. But ultimately it was the book Show Your Work! that pushed me to research and invest in finally joining this wonderful world of Medium.

You’d think a third book on creativity would be derivative, but Keep Going is anything but. Written amidst the lovely Trump as President years in America, Austin admits, “I wrote this book because I needed to read it,” which incidentally is a great tip for any writer — write the book/the article that you want to read, the book/article that you needed as a kid.

Some of the best tips in Keep Going:

• Airplane Mode can be a way of life
• Forget the Noun (being a writer), Do the Verb (write)
• Surround yourself with the mess of what you love
• Don’t seek out Like-Minded people, seek out Like-Hearted people.

Steal Like An Artist released me from my perfectionism, Show Your Work! gave me a framework for getting my creative work out there, and Keep Going is a little reminder book that I can come back to again and again in the future — when ideas dry up or when the writing or artistic pursuits are suddenly no longer fun. His final page is like an anthem:

Worry less about getting things done. Worry more about things worth doing. Keep working. Keep playing. Keep drawing. Keep looking. Keep listening. Keep thinking. Keep dreaming. Keep singing. Keep painting. Keep acting. Keep searching. Keep walking. Keep exploring. Keep giving. Keep living. Keep paying attention. Keep doing your verbs, whatever they may be.

If you’re a recovering self-help-book junkie like I am, I hear ya, you may not be in the right headspace to take on another one. But when you are, give these three a try. Start with Steal Like An Artist, and go from there.

It took me until age 50 — age 50!!! — to realize that I was a born writer whose creativity had been squashed at a young age by people too worried about propriety and what’s acceptable to talk about and reflect on. I’ve finally fallen into my rightful place after years of seeking a creative outlet in areas where my talents were fair to middling, when writing was where I belonged.

I faced all the usual doubts — but is what I have to say original? but doesn’t everybody have a blog these days? but can I really make a living at that? but what if I didn’t get an English degree? but, but, but, but.

And now I’m here. I’ve claimed it. I’m an artist and a writer. And most likely, so are you. When the heart is finally open to receive, the right teacher usually arrives. My heart wasn’t ready to change back when I read all those self-help books. My brain sure thought I was ready, but I wasn’t.

Steal Like An Artist opened my mind and gave me permission to compete with the best of them, because it’s all been said and done before and there’s nothing original under the sun.

Keep these three little gems in view on your bookshelf of inspiration. They may just keep leading you back to the basics.

© Joe Guay, 2023

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