3 Life Lessons From McConaughey’s Memoir That Help Me Recognize Green Lights in My Life

You sometimes have to speed through yellow lights to see which ones turn green.

I have always admired Matthew McConaughey. He seems to be so down to earth and genuine during interviews, and you can even sense his wisdom in the many roles he has portrayed.

When I heard he wrote a memoir called Greenlights, I immediately ordered a copy and was anxious to dive into the details when I received it.

As I read the book, I was clinging to every word. It was definitely a reader’s book chocked full of all sorts of quotable McConaugheyisms. I learned so many things that I didn’t know about his life experiences. He’s lived quite an eventful life during his 50 years and has experienced many things that anyone would aspire to do.

I love his approach and optimistic outlook on life and how he uses confirmations (greenlights) as signs that he is on the right track.

Greenlights mean go — advance, carry on, continue. On the road, they are set up to give the flow of traffic the right of way, and scheduled properly, more vehicles catch more greenlights in succession. They say proceed.

It is such a great way to look at how to navigate through life and know when to proceed, stop, take a step back, and pause as needed. There are so many great takeaways from his book that can help you live life more fully, but here are a few of my favorites.

#1. Green lights can also be disguised as yellow and red lights.

Life is not meant to be all peaches and cream. There are bad decisions, failures (some epic), wrong paths, and many other things that will happen to you that are totally out of your control. He shares over and over — if you are not experiencing failures, you’re not living.

Summed up nicely in his own words, McConaughey explains this perfectly:

Greenlights can also be disguised as yellow and red lights. A caution, a detour, a thoughtful pause, an interruption, a disagreement, indigestion, sickness, and pain. A full stop, a jackknife, an intervention, failure, suffering, a slap in the face, death. We don't like yellow and red lights. They slow us down or stop our flow. They’re hard. They’re a shoeless winter. They say no, but sometimes give us what we need.

I like to put my own spin on yellow lights and say that “You sometimes have to speed through yellow lights to see which ones turn green.” Meaning, you need to be willing to take risks, but don’t forget to evaluate often to ensure the next traffic light isn’t red.

There will be times when you have to take one step forward to be shown what the next step is or that you need to stop and pivot in a different direction. The key is that no matter what life throws at you, you keep moving forward (or sideways and then forward).

In the illustrious words of Sylvester Stalone as Rocky Balboa:

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”

#2. Stick to your core values and stick by your family.

Often, our parents instill values in us as we grow up in their home like:

• Being honest and trustworthy to your word.
• Being a kind person to others.
• Working hard in all that you do.
• Enjoying life’s simple pleasures.

Many of these values are learned by default from our parents as they were likely expectations and consequences of growing up. I had the privilege of being raised by loving parents who taught me many noteworthy values, and for that, I am very grateful. These values have made me the person I am.

Matthew shared some of the main values he learned while growing up in his family.

My parents taught me that I was named my name for a reason.

They taught me not to hate.

To never say I can’t.

To never lie.

My parents didn’t hope we would follow their rules, they expected us to. A denied expectation hurts more than a denied hope, while a fufilled hope makes us happier than a fulfilled expectation. Hope’s got a higher return on happiness and less debit on denial, its just not as measurable. My parents measured.

One of the things I admire about him the most is that family is dear to him. Most days, he talks to his mother on the phone, who is now 88 years old.

I come from a loving family. We may not have always liked each other, but we always loved each other. We hug and kiss and wrestle and fight. We don’t hold a grudge.

One thing’s for sure — you can’t pick your family. But you can choose to accept everyone in your family — with their strengths and weaknesses equally. I’ve witnessed within my own family how grudges can destroy relationships.

I have a brother and his wife that felt they were treated wrong by my parents (that have long since passed away), and they still hold a grudge to this day with most of the remaining siblings and myself, by no fault of our own. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him in over 30 years. Sad, I know. Any contact I attempt goes unanswered, even to this day.

If you have any of these types of strained relationships within your family, make amends before it’s too late. There are two sides to every family feud. A possible approach to settle a dispute can be found in this article on HuffPost.com.

Explain why this relationship is important to you and affirm your love for the other person. Ask yourself, if your family member died suddenly, what would be left unsaid?

#3. When your gut tells you a change is needed, be brave and immovable.

For those that have followed Matthew McConaughey through the years, you know that he disappeared from the Hollywood movie scene for a while, starting in Fall 2008.

He decided he needed to be more challenged from his acting career and wanted to stop doing romantic comedies, of which he was very successful and earned a lot of money doing so. He knew it was a risky bet, but his gut told him he needed more to feel truly fulfilled.

In Hollywood, if you pass on too many projects, they may quit asking. If you step out of your lane, and turn your back on what you’re successful at, the industry can turn its back on you. They don’t mind seeing you miss the bus because there’s plenty of people to take your seat. Again, it’s not personal, it’s just business.

How much time went by until he received an acting role outside of the romantic comedy genre? Longer than I realized— almost two years. He turned down dozens of offers and tens of millions of dollars during that time.

Would you have had the resolve to turn away that much money? It’s very admirable that he stuck to his plan to “be brave, take the hill.” Suppose you want to make a change that badly — the key is that you stick to your plan and never waiver. Otherwise, you will be starting all over.

Then it happened — “anonymity and unfamiliarity had bred creativity,” and he landed a role to play a defense attorney in the 2011 movie “The Lincoln Lawyer.”

As a result, many other dramatic roles were offered to him, with the exclamation point being McConaughey’s complete “re-branding” of himself when he lost almost 50 pounds to play Ron Woodroof in his 2014 Best Actor Academy Award role in “Dallas Buyers Club.”

Is your gut telling you it's time to make a change? Have you been putting it off for some reason? You may not have an Academy Award waiting for you on the other end, but whatever reward you can achieve from any action you take will be worth it. Please don’t put it off another day!

Final Takeaway — Just Keep Livin’

Matthew McConaughey exhibits his main mantra and theme shared throughout his book — “Just Keep Livin’.”

Before reading his book, I initially had the false impression that everything seemed to drop into his lap and that his pretty face and six-pack were responsible for the type of life he has been able to live.

I always knew he came from humble beginnings, which I could tell from his southern charm, but you never really know someone’s full story until you have the chance to walk in their shoes. Everyone has their struggles.

Greenlights provides an extraordinary glimpse into his life, and I appreciate the wisdom I gained from reading it. His larger than life persona and grit in life is one that we all could aspire to.