3 Lessons That Taught Me About How To Set Boundaries.

#2 was the hardest one to learn.

Image generated by the Author — Leonardo.ai

In my journey of spiritual and self-discovery, there was one big moment that, I felt, made a total difference in my life;

I set boundaries against who or what tried to dictate my life.

This experience taught me valuable lessons, and I’d like to share three of them with you.

Self Respect

This is non-negotiable; I had been a major people-pleaser before I knew better.

I remember when I was loyal to some people, but I found later that those people were unloyal to me.

I believed that selflessness was a virtue, and I wore it almost as a badge of honor.

The more time passed, the more I noticed that selflessness was destroying my self-respect and self-esteem.

Setting boundaries was complex; it required me to deal with conflict, criticism, and rejection.

But I realized that without setting those boundaries, I was compromising my own happiness and well-being.

The result was that I regained my self-respect and learned to put myself first, making me selfish and more self-aware.

What you can do:

Whenever you find yourself in a situation where someone pushes you into an uncomfortable state, think: “What is this situation trying to show me?” or “Why am I accepting this behavior in my life.”

Healthier Relationships

After experiencing the positive impact of setting boundaries in some connections in my life, I began to see how boundaries were helpful for all my relationships.

The next level of higher vibration, where I could be myself and the people who liked me for who I was, stayed in my life.

Boundaries worked not as walls but as bridges connecting me with everyone around me in a healthier way.

In romantic relationships, I sometimes needed to show someone I wasn’t.

Trying to be the perfect person for the person I was in love with was such a big mistake.

I understood that we act this way when we don’t set boundaries and are afraid to be who we are.

I wanted to be “the best girlfriend,” and the result was that this brought me only insecurities and resentment.

It doesn’t matter how nice you are; if the person wants to cross your boundaries, they will.

Setting boundaries was also a way to maintain individuality and mutual respect.

It allowed me to build a stronger foundation based on mutual respect and trust.

What you can do:

Remember that boundaries are healthy for you and allow people to show their true colors in relationships.

You can think about whether you want to continue at the same level in your relationship or do something to change it for the better.

You can’t lose what is yours; don’t be afraid of losing someone who is showing you signs of disrespect.

It’s a lifelong practice

I had to insist on setting boundaries and remind myself that I was doing it for my self-respect and that it was okay to focus on myself.

I also learned that it’s okay to adjust my boundaries because it means flexibility, growth, and change for the better.

The self-doubt and guilt arose occasionally about whether I was not being too harsh or hurting others.

As I thought about those challenges, I noticed that boundaries are about finding my authenticity.

Not everyone would respect and understand my boundaries, and that’s okay.

Some people distanced themselves from me, and that was a natural consequence.

The people who cared for me respected my boundaries and appreciated our connection.

What you can do: Persist on the practice; crossing your boundaries in the process is okay, but always focus on self-respect.

Final thoughts

In my path, I learned that the best thing I could do in some situations was set boundaries.

If you let people act like they want, they won’t respect you and take advantage of you.

You can also adjust your boundaries with time, being flexible and seeing situations as they are.

Setting boundaries also allows you to see people for who they are and take your conclusion from there on.

You can save yourself from drama, stress, and unnecessary situations. It’s about aligning your actions, current values, and priorities.

Set your boundaries, take your time to understand how you should set those boundaries and when to do it.

Remember that it’s a process, and you have to allow yourself to take time to get the best results.

Self-respect is non-negotiable. Embrace yourself in this beautiful journey, and you will feel how things change.

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