3 Lessons I Learned From Friends Who Didn’t Appreciate My Success

Things change

When I finally got my university degree, despite health problems in my family and while I was already working, I decided to give a little party to my friends. I felt our friendship was getting weaker because we were all working and had less free time, so I thought it could be a nice way to get together again.

I booked the table at a small place, ordered food and a cake. I paid in advance. I told them I was planning the party on a Thursday, since on Friday I had another work meeting. They all agreed.

The day before the dinner I called one of them, to confirm about the time. As if he was saying something obvious, he told me that they were not coming to the party because they found out that I didn’t have another commitment on Friday. Since I told them a lie, they were not coming to my party.

I was upset. The meeting with my colleagues was real, and they had no way to find out because they didn’t know anyone at my work. It was the opposite: they were lying to me. I realized it was an excuse, they didn't want to come to the party I organized for them.

I remember crying for hours over the end of our friendship. I couldn’t admit that it was over and that I was trying to give new life to a finished time of my life. I felt rejected and I wanted to be their friend. Why were they getting rid of me?

I still feel sad about that story, I was so naïve and didn’t see the signs of the end coming, I felt I was not worth their friendship. I felt rejected. Yet soon I realized how unfair their treatment had been. Now I know that it was not easy for some of them to celebrate my success at the university, while they had to give up earlier. I realized they had feelings of jealousy or envy, they saw me as different from them.

I have never met them again, and in time I never accepted going to old friends meetings, just to avoid them. Yet, they taught me a few important lessons:

1. A good friend will celebrate your success, because he knows how hard you worked for it. He might sometimes feel jealous, but most of all he will be happy for you.
2. A friend respects you and informs you about his changes in plans you made with him. He respects your time and money.
3. If a friendship is getting weaker, it is better to accept it and avoid giving new energy to a lost relationship.

Things change, new people will share special moments of your life with you.

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