3 Important Mistakes to Avoid During Anal Sex

and probably don’t even know it.

Anal sex is one of those things that is either amazing or something you don’t want to partake in. I am all for everyone doing as they please, but when it comes to anal sex for me, it is truly one of my favorite bedroom activities. There is something so hot about it. Maybe it’s because it’s always been a bit taboo.

The more I have anal sex, the more I realize that there are a lot of factors that go into really enjoyable, hot anal sex. Anal sex requires you to have complete trust in your partner. Beyond training your body to go against its natural functions and being comfortable sharing those parts of your body with your partner, there are a lot more things to think about when trying anal sex as beginners or even if you have experience.

When talking to those who don’t enjoy anal sex, I often find that it ends up being because they are making one or more mistakes. Now, this isn’t me saying that everyone needs to try anal sex and if they just do it a few times, they will learn to enjoy it. This is for the people who want to partake in anal sex but have found that it doesn’t feel as good as they want to. If that is you, it could be because you are making one or more of these mistakes, and avoiding them could change the entire experience for you and your partner.

Mistake #1 — Not knowing how and when to use protection.

Using protection during anal sex is a must when you are not in a monogamous relationship. Knowing when and how to use protection is really important. STIs can be contracted through anal sex and some are even easier to catch during anal sex rather than regular intercourse. Make sure that you are using condoms for vagina sex and then changing the condom before having anal sex.

If you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, using protection isn’t something you have to do, but can make anal sex more hygienic. If you are planning to switch between anal sex and vaginal sex, using a condom for one or the other will make sure that there isn’t passing of particles or liquids from the anal cavity to the vagina.

Mistake #2 — Not using enough lube.

There is no such thing as using too much lube. A very common mistake is that couples will not use enough lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t create any type of natural lubricant. It is very unlikely that there will be too much lube that will cause slipping or sliding. Make sure that lube is placed all around the anus, butt crack, and inside as well.

The other mistake that I find people doing is using things beside actual lube to have anal sex. Spit doesn’t work, I promise. Lotion is a no no. Using anything besides lube that is meant to use for intercourse is just a big mistake. I’ve used coconut oil, which I do like, but is a preference that I wouldn’t suggest to anyone else. The most sanitary and safest option is to use lube, even better if it is designed for anal sex.

Not using the proper type or amount of lube can cause pain and even tearing during anal sex. This can decrease the pleasure of the experience and, more importantly, can lead to other long-lasting issues.

Mistake #3 — Ignoring pain and other issues.

Anal sex done properly shouldn’t hurt. If you are turned on and using enough lube, there might be tightness or pressure, but there should never be a lot of pain. If things are painful, you might not be turned on enough or your partner might insert themselves too fast. If anal sex feels painful, stop and assess the situation to find the issue before continuing.

If you find that anal sex only feels uncomfortable during insertion, bearing down as you would while going to the bathroom can help with this issue. If that doesn’t work, odds are you aren’t properly warmed up, turned on, and using enough lube.

Things like tears or hemorrhoids will cause pain and discomfort during anal sex. If you find you are suffering from either of these, avoid having anal sex until you heal up and the issues are resolved. Ignoring pain or issues, like hemorrhoids, will make anal sex not feel as great, but can also make things worse and take longer to heal.

These mistakes can make anal sex and the aftermath unenjoyable.

But there is one mistake that I think often gets overlooked. The first time I had anal sex, I didn’t consent. My boyfriend, at the time, slipped it in while we were having sex. I’m not sure if it was an accident or not, but either way, that shouldn’t happen. Your partner needs to always give consent. While accidents happen, make sure that if it does you apologize and talk through with your partner. There should never be a time when you enter your partner’s body without their enthusiastic consent. The time of slipping it in the back to see if she lets you is long gone.

Anal sex is such an enjoyable experience and avoiding these mistakes will make it even better.

Enjoying anal sex with your partner is important for the experience. Everyone should feel comfortable and excited about partaking. Remember that the experience is supposed to be pleasurable for both individuals involved. It should never be something that you do just to make your partner happy or have to grin and bear it. If anal sex is something you want to do, but it isn’t working, take time to talk about what the issues are with your partner so you can figure out how to fix the issues. Odds are, fixing one of these mistakes might be all you need to do to make it more pleasurable for you both. Do your best to make sure you and your partner aren’t making these mistakes to ensure anal sex is amazing, comfortable, and safe