3 Important Childhood Lessons That Follow You Into Adulthood
A story about conquering fears, and finding hope again — through music.
Some of us grow up believing that our parents have all the answers to the questions of the universe. It seemed amazing every little thing they did — from making sure our favorite cereal was in the pantry, to building the swing-set in the backyard.
My parents, most especially, always made sure that we had food on our table. My father, in particular, juggled two jobs during the day and helped us with our Math homework at night. It was a simple and humble existence, but we were happy. We couldn’t afford anything excessive, but we had enough for a family of six in the Philippines.
For as long as I can remember, it was music that gave life to our little home. It held a significant role in my upbringing that I have always associated a song with a particular memory.
The Dilemma: Being overtaken by fear
Sundays used to be my favorite thing growing up. Sundays meant my father plugged his karaoke machine and sang until supper. It was an unspoken rule. For the rest of the week, the karaoke machine should be left untouched. But come Sundays, the whole house wakes up to Elton John.
Some Sundays, he used to hand me the microphone. But for some reason, I could never sing in front of anyone.
I was a shy and nervous kid who shrunk from everybody’s graze. I cowered behind my mother’s skirt or hid under tables during big family gatherings because that meant plugging the karaoke machine on.
But he never forced me instead, he was certain that I would be comfortable eventually.
Unfortunately, Sundays stopped being Sundays when my father lost his father. I was twelve when I woke up to my mother crying beside me. I was confused. I told her it was Sunday. Nothing bad ever happens on a Sunday.
But it happened almost immediately. In the following weeks after that, even on Sundays, the karaoke machine was left untouched.
The Redemption: Embracing change
I was sixteen when I was asked by one of the older kids in school to sing in their band. They had to play for a birthday party later that week, and their lead singer was grounded for staying out late on a school night.
At this point in my life, I have only ever sung for the church choir. I was about to decline when my father thought it might be cool for me to go to an older kid’s party.
He saw me fidgeting in the living room a night before. He sat me down, calmly looked me in the eye, and told me that everything was going to be okay. He said the same words I have always heard growing up:
“Allow things to change you because they will open your life to infinite possibilities.”
Such simple words, but put them together side by side and they hold the power to alter the rest of your life.
My father embodied this statement. He grew up poor without many opportunities for advancement. But he did not let that deter him instead, he made opportunities of his own. From growing up without barely any food on their table, he strived for a better life for himself and his family. He was unrelenting even in the face of adversity.
The Takeaway: Live your best life.
But through all the changes, the one constant thing that he carried with him was his love for music. Even when he sold his karaoke machine, he never failed to remind me that the songs we love to sing would eventually teach me everything I ever needed to know.
And they did. I would not be who I am today without the lessons I have learned from him and the songs that I grew up listening to.
1. Have the courage to seize opportunities.
Whenever we are feeling nervous, it is because we are on the verge of something grand and life-changing. All it takes is one simple act for great things to happen in your life.
It has been nine years since that encounter, but I remember it like it was yesterday.
I recall thinking if my heart could leap out of my chest. I also recall wishing for the ground to swallow me whole. But before I could even run, the first few notes of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ fills the entire room. I saw my five-year-old self get up from under the table. And exactly like how my dad used to be on Sundays, I sang and danced to the songs of my childhood.
If opportunities present themselves to you, do not let them slip you by instead wield them to your advantage. In the same way, seek outside of your comfort zone and create your own opportunities.
All you need is one big leap of courage. I assure you that the best part of your life is waiting on the other side.
2. Everything happens in its own time.
Looking back, my father never imposed his beliefs on me. He never forced or pressured me to face my fears instead he allowed me to conquer it on my own. He put his trust and confidence in my abilities. Of course, he was right. I would be comfortable eventually.
It is best to remind yourself that there is no need to rush. Everyone is at their own pace, and the only way to move forward is to avoid comparing yourself to other people’s progress. Mind your own milestones.
That night was the turning point of my life. Even years later, it still feels unbelievable. It was my first time in front of a crowd like that, and yet it was somehow familiar. I have never felt more alive than being on that stage.
Conclusively, just trust your process, and everything will fall into place. When you manifest greatness, it will eventually find you.
3. Live every moment like it’s your last.
The beauty of life is that it is short, and the length of our time on this planet is not guaranteed. So every bit of moment counts, and we should cherish and live it fully.
We must give our best and enjoy every experience we encounter. We are only given one life to live. We should use it wisely.
Since then, I have refused to look back. I have become too big to cower behind my mother’s skirt, and I have also stopped hiding under tables.
Whenever life gets overwhelming, I can always count on my father and his favorite songs to remind me of what truly matters. We have also become a father-daughter duo performing at local parties.
Sundays may have stopped being Sundays, only because I now try to live it every single day.
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