3 Great Counter-Intuitive Pieces of Advice
…and why it’s important to keep coming back to them
If you are anything like me, then you are constantly seeking out and synthesizing new information to help you live, work and generally be better.
Certain wisdom tends to stick because the inherent truth it holds is obvious enough. Sometimes the application of it coincides closely with our natural proclivities — so it’s even easier to weave seamlessly into our daily lives.
But what do you do when conventional or familiar wisdom is insufficient or does not gel with your next level.
Time to dig a little bit deeper.
If you have been alive for any appreciable amount of time you would have gathered by now that life is synonymous with change.
It’s simultaneously the most unsettling and consistent thing about existence— this relentless insistence on transformation and evolution.
Just as everything that we perceive changes — you will change too. We all do.
It calls for a regular spring-cleaning of your held beliefs — a process of during which:
- You retain whatever continues to serve you through new seasons of life
- You reframe and redefine stale notions
- You discard those ideas that no longer add value, and most importantly
- You add on to your stock of already acquired wisdom
Here are some evergreen bits of advice that I have come across over the years that seem off-color at first glance but prove invaluable upon closer inspection.
Context Matters: Take All Advice With a Pinch of Salt
I recently bought into a course — from a mail list that I am subscribed to — about freelancing. Having followed the author for a couple of weeks, sign up for his course seemed the next logical step to get more in-depth information.
Often marketing material is designed to cast a wide net and reel in as many potential customers as possible.
It only took reading the first module to realize that this course was not made for me. Unfortunately, I had already purchased a non-refundable package.
This time I got an inexpensive reminder of how cookie-cutter advice can misfire. In some cases, the losses from applying seeming solid advice inappropriately are not as insignificant.
Much in the same way as failing to determine whether a particular product fits you as an individual, advice can function to misdirect if not sufficiently probed.
It’s your always job as the listener to guarantee that advice is both sound and fit for your purposes.
Most well-meaning people will offer advice that is personal and has worked for them. Much in the same way that good writers produce material from their store of personal experience.
Reasons abound for why great-sounding advice will not produce the same results for you as it might do for someone else — place, time, age, race, skill.
It is important as the recipient of any advice to figure out whether or not you are the appropriate audience for whom this is tailored.
Often a simple evaluation of the advice-giver will offer the bulk of what you need to ascertain her intended audience.
Every piece of advice you encounter— including this article — should be taken with the required pinch of salt. Imagine a warning label that reads:
Apply critical thought before subscribing
Fail: Fail Faster and More Often
During my graduate program, my adviser once told me: “Perfect is the enemy of good enough”.
It was excellent advice but I was unprepared to receive this advice at the time — left her office more confused and demoralized than I went in.
Here is the same concept from a different angle:
…people who[are] right a lot of the time [are] people who often change their minds…consistency of thought is [not] a particularly positive trait. It’s perfectly healthy — encouraged, even — to have an idea tomorrow that contradicted your idea today.
— Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon
I have always had a perfectionist streak. I would spend undue amounts of time refining and iterating my thoughts and work before submitting or sharing. It is a habit I have to wrangle myself away from even after years of negative outcomes.
We are imperfect beings and therefore perfectionism does not circumvent failure.
Failure is inevitable, however within every failure lies a valuable lesson. In other words, you will fail — better get to the lesson sooner rather than later.
Stop Trying: From Time to Time, Sit Back and Watch The Chips Fall
Just over a year ago some of your toughest goals might have been graduating from an academic program, landing a good job, or successfully purchasing a home. That probably all now seems like a lifetime ago.
In 2020, a global pandemic, a wide-spread civil rights movement, and a looming global financial collapse is generating a communal longing for the good old days — remember 2018, those were good times!
Periods of crises always inadvertently create space to regroup and re-strategize.
Never waste a good crisis
The full quote attributed to Winston Churchill is:
“You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that: it’s an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before”.
Here’s a novel idea: When you can do nothing to help a situation, do exactly that: Nothing.
Resist the urge to run around harangued, in an attempt to convince yourself that your busy-ness is somehow taking care of business. Put another way, do not throw good money away after bad.
When you have done all you can, rest and take stock.
New ideas and innovation most often strike in these rare down periods of lull. There is wisdom in letting go and allowing for luck and serendipity to find you where you are.
Unfortunately, there is no set formula for when to let go of the reins. It’s an intuitive, gut-based sign for the most part. I would highly recommend this to high achievers.
I can offer my experience of coming to the end of myself and letting go. It has always brought clarity in vision and renewed vigor in my life.
Let’s Recap
When it comes to receiving advice context matters, so take all advice with a pinch of salt. Be certain that you are the desired audience of the proffered guidance before applying to your life.
Fail faster and more often to avoid stagnation.
From time to time stop trying, sit back, and watch the chips fall. Enjoy the view while you are at it. There is no better time to rest than after you have done everything that you can. Create space for your vision to clarify and let universal grace find you.