3 Effective Ways to Grow Your Self-Esteem

Give yourself the respect you deserve.

Success, however you may define it, always starts inside yourself. A great life, therefore, isn’t defined by other people’s thoughts or assumptions about you but about your inner world. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you’ll barely succeed in making others feel good about you. If you, however, respect and appreciate yourself, you set the foundation for great relationships, and ultimately a great life.

Dr. Rosenberg, the foremost researcher on self-esteem even stated that nothing is more stressful than the experience of lacking the basic anchor and security of a wholesome sense of self-worth.

In short, self-esteem is a realistic, appreciative opinion of oneself. Contrary to confidence, self-esteem is characterized by a quiet, steady, inner gladness. The problem, however, is that most people never think of their own worth. Particularly when going through challenging times, we forget to remind ourselves of our own value and instead tend to belittle ourselves. And the often-ignored truth is that you are the most important person in your life. If you can’t get on well with yourself, you’ll fail to build strong relationships with others.

If you genuinely respect yourself, you’ll be less inclined to judge yourself based on comparisons with others. Instead, you’ll be able to focus on your own path and get the most out of your own life. Self-esteem is a quiet yet unshakable sense of satisfaction over yourself and your life. It helps you recognize and appreciate your worth and choose growth over misery, even during hard times. People with genuinely high self-esteem don’t feel the urge to compete with others. They don’t tear their fellows down but instead cheer on. Additionally, they know that their own worth isn’t bound to other people’s achievements.

“Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given.”

— Hussein Nishah

Do Hard Things Every Day

Procrastination doesn’t only make your life harder, but it also harms your self-esteem. Every time you procrastinate, you lose respect for yourself because you prove that you lack discipline. By doing the hard things and finishing your tasks, you prove to yourself that you’re stronger than your strongest excuses.

A study even found out that self-disciplined people are happier in life because they’re likelier to accomplish their goals and thus create a life they genuinely love. This means that people with strong discipline are not only more successful but also more satisfied in the long term. That’s why sticking to your resolutions is a great way to strengthen your self-respect.

If you constantly set goals and write to-do lists but never finish them, you’ll sooner or later lose faith in yourself. If you, however, do the things you talk about, you prove to yourself that you’re not only talking but actually getting things done. And the best way to stick to your daily goals is to set small ones.

Most people underestimate what they can achieve in a year but overestimate what can be done in a day. Don’t fall into that trap. Instead of extending your to-do list every day, take some time to reflect and focus on the things that matter most. Your time is limited and it’s up to you to decide how to use your most valuable resource. Eliminate everything that doesn’t serve you. Your daily to-do list shouldn’t include more than five to six items. Otherwise, chances are high that you’re not productive but just keeping yourself busy.

By sticking to your goals and eliminating procrastination, you will not only grow your self-esteem but also get one step closer to accomplishing your goals.

“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.”

— Clint Eastwood

Be Aware of Your Strengths

Being more confident and respecting yourself is so much easier if you’re aware of your strengths and live according to them. We often drown in misery because of mistakes or weaknesses, yet we barely focus on our bright sides. Even if you’re striving for progress and want to become an even better version of yourself, you can appreciate yourself for everything you already accomplished and went through. A great sense of self-esteem includes your ability to deal with the truth and being honest about your strengths and weaknesses.

Having great self-esteem means appreciating yourself for who you are right now, even if you’re working towards an even better version of yourself. Being aware of our weaknesses is so easy, but the truth is that you’re also succeeding in many small ways every single day without even realizing it.

If you want to strengthen your self-respect, start by reflecting on your strengths and past. Each person is unique and has admirable qualities. Sometimes, we just forget about them and focus on our weaknesses. But the truth is that life is not only easier but also much more fun if you can play to your strengths. Whenever possible, use your strengths and find ways to use your great qualities in your daily life.

Even if you’re not able to (or don’t want to) turn your passion into a paycheck. You might find ways of incorporating your strengths into your daily life. By doing so, you’ll be able to spend more time doing what you love and you’ll grow your self-respect.

“Cultivate a deep understanding of yourself — not only what your strengths and weaknesses are but also how you learn, how you work with others, what your values are, and where you can make the greatest contribution. Because only when you operate from strengths can you achieve true excellence.”

— Peter F. Drucker

Reflect on Your Emotions

Before you can respect yourself, you first need to know yourself. This means being aware of your emotions and asking yourself why certain situations might trigger you and make you feel a certain way. Too often, we let our emotions take control over our lives. And even though your emotions are an important part of you, they shouldn’t be in the driver’s seat of your life. The first step to being in charge of your feelings is to discover them.

An easy yet effective way to be better aware of your emotions is through journaling. I find writing to be one of the most powerful ways to inspect and explore one’s own emotions. By writing down how you feel and asking yourself why you might feel that way, you’re making space for the real reasons behind your emotions. Writing also allows you to dump your thoughts and organize them in a meaningful way.

Quite often, we lose faith in ourselves because we overreact during difficult situations. But the truth is that we can learn how to deal with our emotions without suppressing them. Your emotions are an important part of you and you shouldn’t try to hide or avoid them. Instead, you want to be better aware of them so that you can deal with unexpected difficult situations with ease. By being better aware of your emotions, you won’t get offended easily and will be more confident during daily challenges.

Every time you feel triggered and emotionally attached to something, try to discover the real reason. Dig deeper and have a look behind the surface. You won’t grow by ignoring, but by accepting and transforming your emotions. Try to figure out what it was that triggered you. Is it really what somebody else said, or is the real problem based on what you think of yourself?

“The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is.”

— Baruch Spinoza

Final Thoughts

According to Glenn R. Schiraldi, self-esteem rests upon three important factors: Unconditional worth, unconditional love, and growth.

By strengthening your self-esteem, you’ll be less tempted to judge yourself or compare yourself with others. Instead, you’ll be able to appreciate your strengths and wins and live up to your full potential.

Real self-esteem is detached from external factors such as appearance, economic status, race, or job titles. Even though growing your self-esteem is not a quick fix but a marathon, working on your self-esteem and respecting yourself will always pay off.

Even if it is only a tiny step, taking action every day will help you reap the rewards and be a more confident and self-aware person. You are unique and full of strengths; allow yourself to be aware of all your super-powers and use them to live your best life.

Wanna become your best self? Grab your free Personal Growth Toolkit.