3 “A’s” of Leadership: How to Turn Anxiety, Anger, and Apathy into Strengths

Part I of III: Feeling Anxious and Leading Anyway

If you’re a leader and haven’t felt the grip of anxiety squeezing your decision-making, you’re either bluffing or a robot.

And if it’s the latter, I’d love to know your manufacturer.

Anxiety in leadership isn’t just a fleeting shadow; it’s often an uninvited guest that refuses to leave the party early.

You’ve read the stories and seen the glorified tales of fearless leaders who charge into battle, metaphorically speaking, with the confidence of a thousand warriors.

What you don’t see is the behind-the-scenes mental gymnastics these leaders perform to maintain their composure.

This isn’t about panic rooms or deep-breathing exercises; it’s about embracing the chaos and leading anyway.

Forbes magazine won’t tell you this, but anxiety is not your enemy; it’s a raw, unpolished signal. It whispers (or sometimes yells) that something significant is at stake. And that’s precisely where leadership begins. You think Steve Jobs wasn’t anxious about the iPhone’s success? Think again. But did he let that stop him? History answers that for us.

Anxiety is the body’s natural response to stress — a throwback from our caveman days, where a heightened state could mean the difference between life and death. In the modern boardroom, though, we’re not facing saber-toothed tigers. Our predators are deadlines, public opinion, market trends, and the occasional boardroom backstabber. The stakes might feel life and death, but let’s face it, they’re usually not.

Now, let’s get controversial: anxiety can be your best friend. It’s your internal alarm system telling you to pay attention. It’s the raw energy you can channel into focus, passion, and drive. Instead of trying to silence this alarm, why not tune in and listen? What’s it trying to tell you? Perhaps it’s highlighting an area you need to pay more attention to or a skill you need to develop further.

I used to be terrified of giving presentations in the boardroom. Sweaty palms, racing heart, short breaths — the whole nine yards. Just the thought of standing in front of that polished table, under the scrutinizing gaze of executives, would make me super anxious. The night before a presentation, I would be a mess, rehearsing lines, fumbling with slides, and imagining every possible scenario where things could go wrong.

This wasn’t just your garden-variety nervousness. We’re talking about full-blown, gut-wrenching anxiety. I remember this one time, I had to present a new strategy to the board of directors. The stakes were high, and so was my stress level. The night before, I barely slept. My mind was racing with thoughts like, “What if I forget my lines?” “What if they hate my ideas?” “What if I completely freeze?”

The day of the presentation, I walked into the boardroom feeling like I was heading into a gladiator arena. I started my presentation, and as expected, my hands were shaking, my voice was quivering, and I was gasping for air between sentences. It was like watching a trainwreck in slow motion. But then, something clicked. I’ve tuned in and listened to my anxiety. Mid-presentation, amidst the thumping heartbeats, I realized that the board members were just people. People who had been in my shoes, people who knew what it was like to be anxious.

So, I took a deep breath, slowed down my pacing, and started to speak from a place of authenticity and passion. I shared my vision, my passion for the project, and why I believed it would be successful. Slowly, I could see the room’s energy change. Nods started to replace blank stares. Questions were asked, not in judgment but in curiosity. By the end of it, I was no longer the nervous wreck that walked into that room. I was a leader who had faced his fear head-on.

That day, I learned a valuable lesson. Anxiety didn’t have to be my downfall; it could be my catalyst. It was a signal that I cared deeply about my work and wanted to do well. From that day forward, I decided to approach anxiety with a different mindset. I acknowledged it, understood its roots, and used it as a stepping stone to becoming a more empathetic, resilient leader.

Leadership is not about the absence of fear; it’s about the mastery of fear. It’s about staring into the face of uncertainty and saying, “I see you, I respect you, but you’re not driving this car.” You are. You are teaching yourself to dance with anxiety rather than let it paralyze you with every choice and action.

Imagine a leader who never feels anxious. That’s a leader who’s either disengaged or dangerously overconfident. Anxiety keeps you grounded, keeps you questioning, and keeps you hungry for improvement. It’s the uncomfortable edge that leaders walk on, constantly balancing between confidence and humility.

Here’s a twist: the best leaders don’t just manage their own anxiety; they’re adept at managing their team’s anxiety too. They acknowledge it, create a space for it, and then help their team channel it into something productive. This is where empathy meets strategy. Understanding your team’s fears and stressors is as important as understanding your own.

So, how do you lead in the face of anxiety?

First, recognize it. Name it. There’s power in acknowledging what you’re feeling.

Next, analyze it. What’s the root cause? Is it a realistic concern or an exaggerated fear?

Then, use it. Harness that energy and focus it on constructive action.

Finally, communicate it. Yes, you heard that right. Share your experiences with your team.

This doesn’t mean dumping your stress on them; it means showing them that it’s okay to feel anxious and still perform.

Anxiety in leadership isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a hallmark of being profoundly human. It’s a tool that, when understood and harnessed, can propel you and your team to new heights. It’s not about eliminating anxiety; it’s about mastering it.

So next time you feel that familiar flutter of nerves, smile to yourself and remember: this is where leadership gets real. You’re not just leading a team; you’re leading a charge against the all-too-human experience of doubt and fear.

The next time anxiety knocks on your door, don’t hide under the table. Invite it in, offer it a drink, and get to know it a little better. You might just find you have more in common than you think.

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