29 August 2020 Song/Poem of the Day — I see the bottom of the bottle

I See The Bottom Of The Bottle

There I was flopped over my bed The floor stared back at me Dust bunnies swirled around dancing from one end of the room to the next I looked beneath my bed and there I was staring back at me A sea of empty bottles pushed up through the bed springs

I’ve seen the bottom of many bottles Ten for each day of my life it seems I remember the dry days and looking up at the stars Then I was gone again diving deep in the bottom of my favourite bottle Never disappointing this fine bottle of mind Until it led me to the twelve steps I’ve been at this doorstep many times before

I wasted my time over step one over and over again I admitted nothing even when the words came out of my mouth I believed in no greater power I made no decisions to turn my will, my life to the Gods I made no moral inventory of myself I admitted nothing to the Gods I held my defects close to me, no God could take them away I asked nothing of a God to remove my shortcomings I listed all whom I had harmed but said nothing I made no amends to them or myself I ignored my personal inventory and never admitted when I was wrong I sought nothing from prayer I had no spiritual awakening except when I see the bottom of the bottle

I saw the sun go down I cried, cried and cried some more Then I was back seeing the bottom of the bottle I was overwhelmed with my shame I found no comfort in my own soul I tried to see anything other than the bottom of the bottle Then one day I had to choose which view would remain with me forever I cried some more staring at the bottle in my hand I praised it and forgave it I thank it for the journey but wanted to walk alone now I wasted no time to get back to step one I admitted everything when my words came out of my mouth I believed in me I made the decision for my will, for my life I sketched the moral inventory of my new path I admitted to the Gods, my higher self who I was and wanted to be I held my defects close to my heart and forgave myself I asked everything of me I hugged all whom I harmed, and me I made amends first to my heart and soul and family and friends I said when I was wrong I sought everything from my inner prayer, my highest self I experienced my spiritual awakening when I see the bottle staring back at me

I see the bottom of the bottle in my dreams I see my dreams when I stare back at the bottle and walk away I walk alone with this bottle at my side, tapping me on the shoulder I say thank you for my dreams, and goodbye my old friend

Suzanne Mondoux 29 August 2020

Year 2020 collection Song/Poem of the Day captured on my website (https://suzannemondoux.com/blog/). Thank you to all my readers and followers. Very much appreciated. List of my novels also available https://suzannemondoux.com/