28 Unconventional Life Lessons I Wish I Knew When I Was 18
Last week, I turned 28. A friend of mine reminded me that as of January 1st, he can officially say, ‘You’ll be thirty next year’. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't have all the answers; far from it. But I learn more each day and make an effort to share what little I know.
So, to celebrate, here are 28 life lessons I wish I had known when I was 18.
1. The best energy source is a good night’s sleep.
Supplement companies make a fortune from selling you energy and vitality at the drop of a button.
But the research still stands: if you want more energy, you must sleep better and longer.
Optimise your sleep for focus and energy that no one in a laboratory can replicate.
2. Hard work pays your bills. Smart work pays for your lifestyle.
I wish hard work alone would equal success, but I’m afraid it's far more nuanced.
You have to work smart.
Invest well and make your money work for you. The number of jobs that offer a great lifestyle is becoming obsolete. The good thing is the opportunities are endless.
3. Your life partner is the single most important decision you will make.
Every good day, bad day and in between is softened by the warmth and love of a good partner.
Conversely, the root of a difficult life full of turmoil can be found in the wrong one.
Think long and hard before you commit your life and have children with another.
4. You have a lot of time, but it goes by fast.
Time is one of those funny paradoxes. Every hour on earth is objective. It goes by the same but feels different for everything you do.
Appreciate the scarcity and value of time. Money can always be earned, but time can never be bought back.
5. Success will require you to constantly seek out new mentors.
A large component of success is the people you spend time around and listen to.
That means constantly seeking out new guidance and mentors will help you continue to learn and level up.
6. Change is inevitable. Seek it out; don’t hide from it.
There are few guarantees in life; change, however, is one.
Your interests, desires and hobbies will always change. This isn't a bad thing; it's a great thing. It's what makes life so brilliant. Don’t be afraid of leaving something good to go for something great.
7. Writing is one of the best habits to develop.
After almost one hundred articles, I can confirm writing has done more for my skillset and well-being than any other habit.
It helps declutter your mind and formulate your best ideas into a cohesive and helpful argument. Start today with no expectations. You could surprise yourself.
8. Drugs are very rarely worth the high.
Drugs are short-term fixes that create long-term problems.
There are better ways to get high than fake dopamine and chemicals.
Watch a sunset, enter the forest, or catch up with a loved one. No drug will ever compete with this.
9. Friends who support your bad habits aren’t friends.
Most friends dont have our best interest at heart. I know this is a bitter pill to swallow, but it's true.
Ask yourself whether your parents would encourage the same habits. The answer is often not. Don’t ever be afraid to cut off people who you know in your heart aren't right.
10. Most people want you to succeed but not to do better than them.
This is another one of those funny paradoxes. We all want our friends to do well, but what about if we dont succeed either?
The solution is fairly simple: put your energy into your own endeavours. Wish well for others, but focus only on yourself.
11. Your best teachers also show you what not to do.
It wasn't until adulthood that I realised despite having a somewhat challenging relationship with my father, he was and is one of my best teachers.
Not because he's perfect but because he has also shown me what not to do. Your best teachers don’t always come as expected, but that doesn't mean you can’t learn.
12. The grass isn’t always greener. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know.
A friend of mine was once unsure of whether to quit his job and start a business; his dad, with his fifty years of wisdom, said that ‘either way, he would regret it’.
The truth is, the grass isn't always greener. Neither is it black or white. Sometimes, you must take a leap and know there will be clear pros and cons either way.
13. Everything in life requires sacrifice. You have to choose what you’re willing to give.
Every decision made today requires sacrifice. Every hour worked, every dollar invested and every yes or no answer.
If you want become highly successful, you have to sacrifice a lot. If you want to kick back and enjoy today, you sacrifice your long-term success. You have to choose what you’re willing to give and why.
14. Your health comes before everything.
The healthy man has oten thousand wishes; a sick person has only one.
Naval Ravikant.
There is nothing more to be said.
15. Money is the byproduct of value. Create more value; earn more money.
The reason that Bezos and Musk are worth billions is that they have created value for millions of lives.
The equation is simple but difficult. If you want more money, create more value for others. Valuable people are paid in accordance.
16. Cities are great for business but terrible places to live.
I catch up with my family in London regularly. Startup businesses, investors and opportunities are on every corner.
Then I visit for the weekend and remind myself why I live in the country.
17. Most mental health comes from a lack of self-acceptance.
In all my years of teaching in prison, my own counselling and soul searching, all roads have led back to one. Accept yourself and whatever comes into your head entirely.
18. Your ability to focus will determine the trajectory of your life.
Focus is the new differentiator. He or she who is able to focus intently for a long enough period of time will surpass most of the competition.
Remove distractions and friction, and remember rule number one. Better sleep = more focus.
19. Living beyond your means is the fastest way to go broke.
In the age of Instagram, flexes and credit card debt, the coolest path to riches is humble living.
There will always be someone with more cash, better holidays and a faster car. The only thing you must do at all costs is tune out the noise and live within your means.
20. Always optimise for long-term outcomes.
For long-term success, build your habits and goals around decade-long outcomes.
Get into the mindset of continually chipping away at your skill whilst you delay gratification for the foreseeable future.
21. You can beat 95% of your competition by avoiding mistakes and playing for longer.
Most success is a byproduct of patience and persistence.
By playing any game for longer and avoiding costly mistakes, you increase your chances of success.
22. The other 5% will require a lot from you.
It isn’t that hard to become good. But to become great will take a lot from you.
Choose what you want and what you’re willing to sacrifice. You can have a great life without being great.
23. You know less than what you think you do.
This is speaking to me, but hopefully, it applies to you.
Humility and wisdom are synonymous. The smartest people I know remain humble and curious. It feeds their desire to continue learning.
24. In ten years, you will know more but Identify as knowing less.
There's a funny effect in Psychology called the Dunning-Kruger effect.
People with less competence claim to know more. And people who are highly competent tend to remain humble.
Stay hungry. Stay humble. Stay curious.
25. Hold on to your loved ones. When they are gone, you will wish you had.
Time is precious, and life is short. An hour with a loved one doesn’t mean much to you but can make their entire week.
In the busyness of modern life, carve out time for what truly matters.
26. Find something you enjoy and pursue it for life.
If you’re fortunate enough to find your passion, pursue it forever. You don’t have to go all in but always keep in touch with it.
The greatest things about life are the creatives who choose to pursue what is meaningful to them.
27. Have fun. It’s the secret recipe to a life well-lived.
Regular fun is an antidote to the difficulties of life.
No matter your age or your circumstances, finding something fun softens the blows of life's already challenging hurdles.
28. The best thing you can be in life is helpful.
The best thing a human being can do is help another human being know more.
Charles T Munger.
‘Brendan's newsletter is a must-read every week.’ Lessa. Sign up here. Unsubscribe anytime.