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Abstract

="cc9f">So, when you love someone, you should…</h2><ol><li>Tell them.</li><li>But don’t just tell them; show them.</li><li>Show up for them.</li><li>Accept that they aren’t perfect.</li><li>Accept that you aren’t perfect by not pretending that you are.</li><li>Apologize when you do something wrong.</li><li>But don’t just apologize; make amends.</li><li>Be honest (don't play games, lie, or manipulate).</li><li>Be faithful (don’t cheat or flirt with cheating).</li><li>Make time for them where you give your undivided attention.</li><li>Listen when they speak.</li><li>Show them respect.</li><li>Take good care of yourself so you can be a strong partner.</li><li>Have your own interests so that they don’t have to provide you with an identity.</li><li>Have friends so they don’t have to be your full support system.</li><li>Speak kindly to them.</li><li>Trust them.</li><li>Be vulnerable with them.</li><li>Express gratitude for them.</li><li>Confront problems with them rather than seeing them as the problem.</li><li>Put them on your list of good things, not on your list of obligations.</li><li>Understand that love may be unconditional, but the relationship isn’t. (Don’t tolerate abuse.)</li><li>Encourage their interests and dreams.</li><li>Laugh with them.</li><li>Support their growth.</li></ol><p id="03dc">And if you don’t love someone? If they just aren’t for you?</p><p id="391f">Don’t use them. Don’t try to make them be who you need. Don’t make them feel bad for not being what you need. Don’t hurt them by trying not to hurt them.</p><p id="3380">Just do one thing. One. It’s simple:</p><ol><li>Let them go.</li></ol> <figure id="cd29"> <div> <div> <img class="ratio" src="http://placehold.it/16x9"> <iframe class="" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fslidetosubscribe.com%2Fembed%2Fcrystaljackson&dntp=1&display_name=Slide+to+Subscribe&url=https%3A%2F%2Fslidetosubscribe.com%2Fcrystaljackson%2F&image=https%3A%2F%2Fslidetosubscribe.com%2Fi%2Fcrys

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25 Things to Do When You Love Someone

And the One Thing You Should Do When You Don’t

When I thought about writing the following list, it occurred to me that everything on it could be creepy if taken out-of-context. So, let me begin by saying that this list is for when we love someone and are in a partnered relationship with them. Because: consent, consent, consent.

This isn’t for unrequited love, love from afar, or for relationships that are over. This isn’t a stalker’s guide to expressing affection. It is, however, a good list of what we should do when we love our partners.

If there’s something on the list we’re not doing, we may want to consider how we can work on this area — whether on our own or with the help of counseling. Love may come easily to us, but it does need to be nurtured. If we neglect it, we can’t expect it to stick around or grow stronger.

So, when you love someone, you should…

Tell them.
But don’t just tell them; show them.
Show up for them.
Accept that they aren’t perfect.
Accept that you aren’t perfect by not pretending that you are.
Apologize when you do something wrong.
But don’t just apologize; make amends.
Be honest (don't play games, lie, or manipulate).
Be faithful (don’t cheat or flirt with cheating).
Make time for them where you give your undivided attention.
Listen when they speak.
Show them respect.
Take good care of yourself so you can be a strong partner.
Have your own interests so that they don’t have to provide you with an identity.
Have friends so they don’t have to be your full support system.
Speak kindly to them.
Trust them.
Be vulnerable with them.
Express gratitude for them.
Confront problems with them rather than seeing them as the problem.
Put them on your list of good things, not on your list of obligations.
Understand that love may be unconditional, but the relationship isn’t. (Don’t tolerate abuse.)
Encourage their interests and dreams.
Laugh with them.
Support their growth.

And if you don’t love someone? If they just aren’t for you?

Don’t use them. Don’t try to make them be who you need. Don’t make them feel bad for not being what you need. Don’t hurt them by trying not to hurt them.

Just do one thing. One. It’s simple:

Let them go.