25 Common Mistakes Women Make When Asking Men Out

Show a guy you like him without being embarrassed.

It’s a jungle out there when it comes to dating.

For men, it can seem like a never-ending quest to figure out how to make that coveted first move without getting shot down.

And for women, the task of asking a man out can be fraught with danger — even if you’re confident and know what you want.

So before you take the plunge and risk getting rejected or ignored, read on for 25 common mistakes women make when asking men out.

Armed with this knowledge, you can put your best foot forward and increase your chances of success.

#1: Not being clear about your intentions.

When approaching a man with the intention of asking him out, do so confidently and be direct.

If you play all coy and don’t come right out and say that you’re interested in dating him, not only will he likely misread your behavior as aloofness or disinterest, but he also might think you’re a little too forward.

#2: Being overly vague about when and where you want to meet up.

If you don’t set a specific time and place, your plans will always be subject to change or go astray. That’s not fair for him — especially if it means that he’ll miss out on meeting up with you at the last minute.

#3: Not taking care of your appearance before asking him out.

Wanting to look good for a man isn’t superficial; it’s part of being confident and sending the message that you’re making an effort to please him. Even if he says “no” in the end, he’ll appreciate that you put in the effort.

#4: Going for a man you don’t know well.

If you only met a guy a few days or a week ago and haven’t gone out with him on an actual date, going over to his place to ask him out will seem aggressive and presumptuous — especially if he doesn’t know you well.

#5: Using the wrong tone or inflection when you ask him out.

If your delivery is off, even the most straightforward words can come off as sarcastic or mean-spirited. So watch your tone of voice and how you say it. It’s also important to act natural, not awkward when you’re asking him out.

#6: Asking him out when he’s busy.

Never ask a man out when he’s in the middle of doing something or with another person. Unless you’re already involved romantically, asking a man out at this time will seem rude and put him on the spot to answer your question right away.

#7: Being too aggressive or too passive.

When you ask a man out, there’s a fine line between being overly aggressive and coming across as meek or reserved. If you throw your weight around or seem too pushy, he’ll never want to go out with you again. But if you come across as shy and demure, he might think you’re not interested in him at all.

#8: Asking him out, then not following through on it.

If you asked a man out but don’t plan on keeping your plans, let him know that from the start rather than stringing him along and canceling last minute. You won’t come across as flaky or unreliable if he knows what to expect.

#9: Assuming all men are the same.

Even if you’ve been rejected by a man before, that doesn’t mean that all men are going to reject you. Just because one guy didn’t want to go out with you, it doesn’t mean they all won’t say “yes”. After all, what’s the point in going out with a guy who isn’t interested in you?

#10: Being afraid to take a risk.

Here’s the thing about asking a man out: it takes guts, but that’s what love is all about. If you’re shy and reserved, taking a risk might seem intimidating at first, but it’s something you’ll have to do if you want to find love.

#11: Not being confident.

With this one, you don’t have to act like a diva or make it seem like you’re great and he should be grateful that you went out with him. Instead of focusing on your flaws, focus on where you are in life right now — whether it’s your career, volunteer work, or the city you live in — then play up the things you love about that life.

#12: Being too frugal or forcing him to pay for everything all the time.

If you don’t have enough money, try sticking to one activity on your date rather than expecting him to take care of everything. If he insists on paying for everything, let him do so without making him feel like he’s spoiled or like you’re not independent enough to take care of yourself.

#13: Acting as a friend instead of a romantic interest.

It’s important not to act like a friend on a date. Otherwise, he’ll feel as if you’re just going out with him because you’re bored and have no other options.

Treat yourself like a princess on dates by wearing something fabulous or putting your best foot forward in every way that you can. And don’t be afraid to romance the guy. After all, what’s the point of dating if you don’t want to grow closer?

#14: Hanging onto your ex too long.

Don’t act like a girl with her first boyfriend. If you’re no longer getting along with an ex, let go and move on already. Holding onto someone who isn’t right for you is a waste of time and effort.

#15: Waiting too long to make a move.

If you’ve been thinking about asking a guy out, don’t wait until the last minute. After all, if he’s not interested in you and suddenly has to go on a date with you tomorrow because you’ve waited so long to ask him out, it’s going to seem like a really bad idea. If you’re that into him, ask him out earlier so you have enough time to plan a good date.

#16: Getting too serious, too early.

There’s nothing wrong with being infatuated with someone, but there is something wrong about thinking that he has to know how you feel after one or two dates. Give it some time before you start talking about your feelings. It’ll make things a lot less awkward!

#17: Being too picky or passing up potential dates too quickly.

If you’re still single as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, it can be tempting to settle for just about anyone who shows an interest in you because you’re so anxious to have a boyfriend

While we understand the struggle is real, don’t pass up on dates with good guys because you’re looking for someone who’s perfect. Nobody’s perfect. You just have to find that special someone who has the qualities that you like.

#18: Getting into a fight before your first date.

We know that it’s hard to be on your best behavior when you’re nervous, but try not to act like a jerk. After all, even if the guy you’re going out with is totally wrong, don’t let anger get in the way of your date, or else he won’t want to go out with you again.

#19: Being indecisive about who to go out with.

Don’t take too long to decide on a second date if you want him to keep liking you. If he asks you out again, it means that he’s interested in seeing more of you, so don’t let your anxiety get the best of you, or else he’ll move on to someone who isn’t afraid of commitment.

#20: Being a pushover or being too much of a high-maintenance girl.

Don’t be a pushover because he’ll think that he can take advantage of you, and don’t be high maintenance either because then you’ll just seem demanding. Instead, be kind and show him that you’re a strong woman who can stand up for herself.

#21: Not taking no for an answer.

Just because a guy doesn’t want to go out again doesn’t mean he hates you and it definitely doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes people just don’t click, no matter how much you’re interested in them. It’s better to accept that now rather than holding onto false hope later on.

#22: Acting like the perfect girl.

Don’t act like you’re too good to do anything fun because he’ll stop taking you seriously and think that you’re not really interested in getting to know him well enough to be his girlfriend. It’s important always to keep a bit of mystery about yourself, but don’t act like you’re perfect because nobody’s perfect.

#23: Being too clingy or desperate.

No one likes it when a girl is always asking where he is, who he’s with, and what time he’ll be home. Not to mention that being needy shows him that you have low self-esteem. Not the best way to attract a guy’s attention.

Plus, guys hate desperate girls who never function without their boyfriends’ help — it makes them feel like they’re not capable of taking care of themselves.

#24: Showing up late or canceling plans at the last minute.

If you don’t want him to think that you’re inconsiderate, don’t be late for your dates! And if you’re not feeling well enough to go out, let him know ASAP. It’s better to be honest than ruin his night because you were too lazy or selfish to keep the appointment that you made with him.

#25: Acting entitled to a date.

No, you don’t get to see your crush every weekend and it’s not fair if he doesn’t make time for you. That being said, don’t ask him out every day because that would be even more impolite than ignoring his calls. Make sure that he knows how lucky he is whenever he does spend time with you.

Final word

All in all, asking a man out isn’t so difficult once you get over your anxiety and take the plunge. If you’re upfront and direct about what you want while also projecting confidence and taking care of your appearance, then he’ll be much more likely to say “yes”.