24 Pieces Of Shitty Advice You Shouldn’t Follow

#2 — You’re good the way you are

Advice. The magical solution to every problem. Some people have a piece of advice for every situation. If you google “advice”, you will come across a whole world of people sharing their unsolicited advice over the net. Wonderfully written quotes that are meant to cheer you up and reignite your hope for a better tomorrow.

But sometimes, that advice doesn’t help at all. In fact, it’s really shitty advice most of the time. And if you happen to tell someone with depression that they just need to take a deep breath, you’re not actually helping. You’re an asshole.

Here are 24 pieces of shitty advice you should never follow.

#1 — Don’t worry, be happy

Yeah, just ignore the problems and they will give up and go away. Also works with your bills, tax collectors, and the guy who tells you that you don’t need a condom because he can pull out in time.

He can’t and he won’t.

#2 — You’re good the way you are

No, sometimes you really aren’t. But I give you $50 if you go to the guy who bullied you through high school and tell him just that. There are many people with lots of room for improvement.

Here’s some actual advice: Never validate an asshole.

If we all were truly good the way we are, the world wouldn’t be what it is right now. We all can become better every day. Some people are good. But most of us aren’t. And unless you see and accept that, you won’t become any better.

#3 — If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours

Beautiful, isn’t it? I wonder if Jenny would agree, after her abusive ex-boyfriend comes back for the third time, promising that he’ll change.

If you split up, split up for good. The whole being on a break or timeout is utter bullshit. Don’t waste your time in a toxic relationship.

#4 — A relationship requires lots of effort and hard work

That may seem to make sense at first, but most relationships only really require you not to be a selfish asshole. If you and your partner share a common goal, it’s really easy to get along.

Here’s to me, trying for 7 years, thinking I’m just not working hard enough thanks to this advice. Walking away was the best thing I did in that entire time. If your relationship feels difficult, you’re not meant for each other. It’s that simple.

#5 — Play hard to get to be more attractive to men

You will end up playing that game all by yourself sooner than you think. The only men you will attract that way are the men you wouldn’t want to waste yourself on.

If you like someone, let them know. Don’t waste your time playing stupid games.

#6 — Do what you love doing and you’ll never have to work a day in your life

Yes, because you’ll be jobless. And probably homeless too. Not every passion has actual value on the market. You should rather look for something you love AND can capitalize upon.

Not only that but to actually become good enough at something, you will have to work for it. Some people managed to take all the fun out of their passion that way.

#7 — If He/She can do it, then you can too!

You’re not him/her and what may work for them won’t necessarily work for you. You may have to find your own way to achieve something. It’s not a bad thing though. Because he who only follows other people’s paths will never leave his own footprints.

So don’t blindly follow someone just because they are successful and promise you to get the same. Offering you that carrot may be the reason why they are successful in the first place.

#8 — Respect your parents

Respect is earned, not given. And if you happen to have shitty parents who grace you with toxicity, then you don’t need them. And you sure as hell shouldn’t devote your life to them.

If your parents treat you right and deserve respect, chances are you don’t need to be told to respect them. You will figure this out all by yourself.

#9 — Sleep when your baby sleeps

I tried…I really did…

#10 — Everything happens for a reason

Yeah. It’s called cause & effect. Sometimes, the reason is that people are assholes and don’t think things through.

There is no magic destiny. If shit happens, someone probably took a shit.

#11 — Blood is thicker than water

See #8.

#12 — Play it safe

I love this piece of business advice. You’ll often hear it from middle-aged men who are into year 15 of paying their mortgage from their $35,000 salary and cry every time Jeff Bezos waves at a camera. They also hate their boss but put up with him anyway to keep paying the mortgage and will likely die of a heart attack before the mortgage is paid off, so their kids have something to do.

There’s nothing wrong with having a “safe” job, but if you don’t risk anything, you’ll never win anything either. That’s how life works.

#13 — Quitters never win, and winners never quit

Sometimes you have to quit one thing so you can start winning at another. Quitting doesn’t always mean losing. It often means to cut your losses and reinvest the time into something more fruitful.

If you’re stuck at something that you just can’t accomplish, but hold on to the thought of never quitting, you’ll grind away at a lost cause until it’s too late.

We can’t all be good at everything. If you feel you’re not making any progress, quit.

#14 — Never touch a running system

This is often found in the IT sector. Similar to “don’t fix it if it isn’t broken”, this is meant to help you stay from making things worse if they are good enough.

But nowadays, especially in the business and startup sector, change is constantly happening. If you keep your outdated system or approach as it is now, it may not get worse, but others will definitely overtake you.

What makes successful businesses successful is the ability to adapt and optimize. But hey, stick to Windows 95 if you’re so nostalgic. You’re the boss.

#15 — Don’t worry about what others think

Sometimes you should. If the tenth guy today tells you that you are a selfish asshole, you probably are.

You shouldn’t listen to those who just enjoy driving into your parade. But if people try and give constructive criticism, you should really listen to it. If you don’t know what I mean, look at #2 again.

#16 — Never say no

Grant people every favor they ask for. The boss wants you to stay 2 hours for unpaid overtime? Great! Your colleague begs you to file that report on his behalf? Superb! This will make you look hard-working and reliable, right? Someone will recognize your efforts and promote you?

Wrong.

If you don’t learn to say no, people will sooner or later use you as their personal doormat, running to you when they are too lazy or incompetent to do something themselves. Being nice is great, but you’ve got to set up boundaries.

#17 — If they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best

I lost count of how many people I wanted to bitchslap for this nonsense. If someone can’t handle you at your worst, you’re a really shitty person. It’s not our job to deal with your shittiness. Get your shit together.

#18 — Forgive and forget

What about people who were abused or raped? Are you saying they need to forgive their perpetrators in order to move on? I don’t think so.

Some people don’t deserve forgiveness. Period.

#19 — It’s just money

Yeah, and this is just a stack of bills poking my butt. I’ve only ever heard this from people who have money most of all. If it wasn’t a life-threatening issue for some people, I would probably see the joke.

#20 — Turn the other cheek…

…and get slapped again. Being nice and mature is great. It really is. But some people don’t get that. Sometimes, you’ve got to get your hands dirty to make sure people don’t screw you over again and again.

#21 — Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never break me

I’ve seen plenty of people contemplating and committing suicide because they were mentally bullied, but I’ve never seen anyone push his wheelchair off a bridge. I call bullshit on this one.

Never say anything to anyone you’d later regret. Words hurt. A lot.

#22 —Listen to your parents, they know better

Often they don’t. If you listen to your parents, you’ll end up just like them. Take a look and decide for yourself if that’s what you want in life. Anyone interested in a $450,000 mortgage?

#23 — Good things come to those who wait

I’m still waiting.

No, seriously. If you want good things to happen, you have to work for them. Don’t wait for an opportunity coming out of the blue. Set a goal and make it happen. The only thing in life that’s free is death. And it will cost your life.

Don’t waste time waiting for better days.

#24 — Work hard and success will follow

Working hard alone won’t get you there. You need to work smart, have a plan, and know when to stop wasting time on the wrong goal.

Working hard can mean doing 12-hour shifts on a construction site. These people work harder than most others. And success is often nowhere near those people. My dad did just that. For 30 years. He got a pacemaker at age 40 and can’t work anymore because of chronic back damage. Work hard my ass. I tear up every time. I’m sure he had a different idea of success in mind.

Work smart. Don’t put your energy where you won’t reap the rewards. A stable job will keep you afloat. But use that time to find a way out of this rat race.

Final thoughts

That’s all the shit advice people gave me so far. Except for #5, that one I heard from a friend. I’m sure there’s much more. Do you have any? Let me know about the worst advice people ever gave you.