21 Reasons Why I Left Therapy

#17 Are you wearing any underwear?

Here’s a list that I’ve accumulated from over 30 years of some really bad therapy sessions. Some are mine. Some aren’t. However, all are real.

#1. “My therapist kept forgetting my name. I was like uh, should I wear a name tag? It had been three months. I stopped going.”

#2. “When they frequently check their cellphone [during my session].”

#3. “Eyerolling. I can’t stand that. It felt like I was being judged and dismissed. Were they were bored? Or worse maybe they didn’t believe me.”

#4. “Once I was 10 minutes late and my counselor was angry even after I texted them, I’m running late. There’s been an accident and I’m stuck in traffic. What really upset me is my therapist was chronically late to nearly every appointment. I completely understand if they had an emergency, but this was their norm.”

#5. “Double booked me and told me to come back in two hours and that it wasn’t a big deal. I started to cry. The other client was there. Talk about awkward. We both stared at the floor. I never went back.”

#6. “Oversharing their life story. Hearing about all their success was too much. It made me feel stupid.”

#7. “She kept telling me crying won’t help. My mom had died two months ago. Who says that to someone who is grieving?”

#8. “My counselor gave me a potted plant and told me therapy was over. I walked to my car, held my potted plant, and cried. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I was fired from therapy.”

#9. “My therapist fell asleep during my session.”

#10. “My college assigned me a counselor who was legally blind. I came in because I was down to 93 pounds. The counselor told me my anorexia was most likely because I was sexually frustrated. I walked out while he was still talking. He didn’t even see me leave. It took me five years to try another therapist again.”

#11. “Tapping their watch over and over again.”

#12. “Eating their lunch during my session. The smell of tuna alone nearly killed me.”

#13. “My therapist ended our session after 10 minutes because I couldn’t think of anything to talk about, so I thought. But I was just nervous and drew a blank. Anyway, they ended it and still sent me the full bill. I felt like I failed therapy.”

#14. “I showed up for an appointment and they weren’t there. So, I called them, and they said, “Opps. Guess you messed up. It’s my day off.” And then blamed it on Mercury Retrograde!”

#15. “What you need isn’t therapy. You need a husband.”

#16. “You can only have one emotion at a time! Here’s a laminated list of emotions! Pick one and let’s start working!” I thought I had entered the twilight zone.

#17. “Are you wearing any underwear?” I thought I must have heard wrong. “Excuse me? What did you say?” “Are you wearing any underwear?” I don’t remember how I managed to leave so quickly.”

#18. “Way to preoccupied about my sex life.”

#19. “Being offered a vodka tonic and told it’ll help relax you.”

#20. “This one therapist said to me, “If I weren’t their client, they’d ask me out.”

#21. “I had one [therapist] that just could not stop talking about themselves. I thought therapy meant I could finally talk and be heard. I was wrong.”

I can’t believe I wrote this article. I can’t believe I put it in writing. BUT I needed to. Bad therapy needs to be unearthed, shown for what it is and for people to know YOU are NOT alone in what you’ve seen, heard and experienced.

I need to write a follow-up article on what to look for in a good therapist but I’ll leave you with this tip:

#1 Trust your gut. You know yourself better than you think.

Update: Here’s a follow up to this article

Carolyn Riker, MA, LMHC, is a licensed psychotherapist and author of three books of poetry and prose. Her latest is My Dear, Love Hasn’t Forgotten You. If you’d like, follow her on Facebook at Carolyn Riker, MA, LMHC or Instagram.