20 Self-Help Books Ranked from Worst to Best
So you don’t waste your time.
The personal growth aka “self-help” industry is worth anywhere from $9 to $13 billion dollars. Books alone make up $800 million. Critics say it’s a business that preys off misery.
Most of the consumption comes from us millennials, who spend up to $300 a month on personal growth, ranging from life coaches and mentors to personal trainers and audiobooks.
What else do we know about millennials?
- Most debt of any generation.
- Least disposable income.
- Least likely to own a home.
- Least likely to invest.
- Worst job prospects.
We’re the first generation in American history expected to be worse off than their parents, in just about every way. We delayed starting families due to a brutal economic recession, and now we’re knee deep in another one that’s going to hurt a lot worse.
We’re terrified again, this time with mouths to feed.
It makes sense that we’d be looking for any kind of resource to help us deal with all the stress of this chaotic world. It makes sense that we’d want to max out on self-improvement, because being our best selves isn’t just a hobby — it’s imperative. Our livelihoods depend on it. Our families depend on it. Our health depends on it. The world demands us to get tougher and more innovative than ever. We’re going to have to straighten out all the problems created by our so-called leaders.
So what books can actually help?
And which ones are a waste of time?
I put together a list. It starts with the worst, the ones that do nothing but profit from misery. It ends with the most practical.
20. The Secret, Rhonda Byrne
You probably knew this one sucks, but I wanted to make sure. It’s a bad book. Like, really bad. Mark Manson tore it to pieces on his website, and he makes a lot of great points.
The law of attraction is pretty simple when you think about it. If you act like an asshole, nobody’s going to hang out with you. Nobody’s going to give you a job or invest in your company.
We can define being an asshole briefly as badmouthing everyone you know, and complaining about what you don’t have all the time.
Yeah, don’t do that.
If the book stopped there, it wouldn’t be so terrible. Instead it goes on to suggest the best way to live is to brainwash yourself with positive affirmations. Don’t actually deal with your problems. Just talk them away, and the universe will reward you with piles of gold.
19. The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale
Same basic ideas, but with a little more religion. Normal Vincent Peale developed the concepts behind his best-selling book by telling poor people to cheer up during the Great Depression. He railed against The New Deal, and thought FDR was a communist scumbag. In a special layer of irony, it turns out that Peale imparted all his wisdom to Donald Trump — who attended his church growing up, which might explain why he thinks he can beat a deadly virus by inhaling bleach fumes, taking dangerous drugs preemptively, and refusing to wear a mask anywhere he goes.
18. Your Best Life Now, Joel Osteen
If you’re looking for a book that sums up narcissistic optimism, here you go. Osteen would have you believe that God is personally invested in making you rich. All you have to do is want it — and also pretend like you’re already rich and successful. After that, he describes some other generic principles pulled from a dozen other books.
Here’s a straight-talk version: Getting your sh*t together is a performative act. Most of us don’t work up the motivation to do something before we do it. We just go do it, and the motivation or passion or whatever comes later. This is not a special talent. Almost everyone has this ability somewhere in their brain. You just have to work at it.
17. Girl, Wash Your Face, Rachel Hollis
This book is okay, I guess, in the sense that it doesn’t make too many false promises. It’s pretty lightweight in terms of the actual help it can offer. It’s got a lot of fluffy anecdotes followed by advice that worked personally for her. This book simply follows the recipe for a best-seller: String together a bunch of little stories mixed with advice that sounds easy to follow. Use that cutesy chick lit voice everyone writes in. Make millions.
16. You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero
After finishing this book, I completely forgot what I’d read. That sounds harsh, but it’s true. The author tries to cover everything — and just doesn’t quite pull it off in my opinion.
15. Everything is Figureoutable, Marie Forleo
At times I got this book confused with You Are a Badass. It makes most of the same points, in a similar voice. But if you want an easy read that gets you temporarily pumped up, give it a shot.
14. Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins
This is a meaty book with practical advice. Tony Robbins gives concrete examples of how he’s used his methods to train students as well as soldiers. He gets results. He cites studies. The book is a little old now (and long as hell), but still worth reading.
13. The Obstacle is The Way, Ryan Holiday
We’ve officially reached the “good” part of the list. Holiday’s advice is simple, but he convinces you to take it seriously. His writing makes you smarter and teaches you just enough about history and philosophy that you could trick people into thinking you’ve read the original stoics.
12. Ego Is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday
See above, but I liked this one better. Holiday’s personal story here ties it all together. It doesn’t matter how successful you are. Everyone hits the occasional wall in life. Everyone still struggles. If anything, it’s harder to deal with setbacks and disappointments after you’ve had a taste of your dreams. We think life is supposed to get easier. It doesn’t.
You just get tougher and steadier.
11. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo
Another book that delivers exactly what it promises. Kondo explains why it’s so important to organize your sh*t, why her method works best, and how you can do it without going insane.
10. Drop the Ball, Tiffany Dufu
Maybe you’re not the gullible mess that Joel Osteen and Rhonda Byrne seem to think you are. You’re actually successful. You have a family and everything. Your problem is that you keep taking on other people’s responsibilities, and it’s eating away at your happiness. It’s hard for some of us to watch things not get done. We’ll jump in and do them ourselves, even if it’s not our job. But this is just a different kind of self-sabotage. Dufu explains how you can get better at letting things go that aren’t your problem.
9. The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman
It’s hard not to put this book somewhere near the top. Maybe there’s more than five — that’s not really the point. What Chapman does here is illustrate how a relationship hinges on learning how to love someone, which means actually paying attention to them.
This is one of those books you might feel inclined to skip, because you’ve heard so much about it you think you’ve already read it. But you should read it for real. A lot of people get Chapman wrong.
8. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck
She’s a Stanford Professor. Listen to her. The book offers plenty of evidence and examples to illustrate the difference between growth and fixed mindsets. Basically, to get anywhere in life you have to let go of your ego and be willing to admit you’re not perfect. But once you do that, you also have to take on the responsibility of choosing how you act. Nobody is a complete slave to their personality. We can steer it.
Everyone thinks they have a growth mindset until they actually read the book. Then they found out they still have a little work to do.
7. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson
This book pitches the radical idea that maybe you’re fine the way you are. Your biggest problem is that you keep chasing some corporate consumerist fantasy that you’ve been conditioned to want. This is, in fact, why personal growth is such a huge industry. Nobody seems to be happy with what they’ve got, or what they could have if they just chilled the eff out. Do you really need to be like Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk? No.
6. Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb
Like Manson, Taleb wants you to see through so many of the lies we’ve swallowed about success. In truth, it’s random a lot of times. Our culture and economy are governed by all kinds of biases — like the fact that we tend to reward success with more success. All someone with less talent has to do is find an advantage or access point a little bit faster. Timing plays a huge role in how one product performs in the market compared to one of almost identical quality. And so on. While books like The Secret feed you some bullshit about the frequency of the universe, Taleb tells it like it is. We don’t like hearing these kinds of truths. But we’re better off to stop fighting chance all the time, and try to make it work for us when we can.
5. Personality Isn’t Permanent, by Benjamin Hardy
This book makes a good companion to Dweck. It’s straightforward, honest, and well-researched. It covers some of the same points, but from a different angle. It’s also a little easier to get through. Hardy’s key point is that you’re not stuck with the personality you’ve got. We change all the time, and you can direct that change. If you want to be more patient or confident, then you have to identify specific behaviors and start emulating them. It’s not easy. It’s not even that fun. But it’s very doable, and very rewarding. The best personal growth books come from people who’ve actually done some themselves — and Hardy qualifies. He overcame a messed up childhood to earn a PhD in organizational psychology, and he talks about his own challenges with marriage and parenthood. His struggles are the kind you can relate to. When you have substance, you don’t need fluff and cutesy anecdotes. Hardy gives you evidence, and case studies.
4. Real Help, Ayodeji Awosika
This is one of the most honest and comprehensive self-improvement books you could pick up. It doesn’t hide from reality or try to shrug off inequality. It jumps right in there and tells you exactly why big corporations pay substandard wages, why politicians sit around doing nothing about student debt, and why nobody really believes in your big dreams until you pull them off. It tells you how Jeff Bezos really doesn’t have as much control over everything as you think. It explains how society is built to keep you average. But you don’t have to accept that — not for yourself. Once you stop being angry at how unfair the world is, you can actually start doing practical things to improve your situation.
3. Quiet, Susan Cain
This book challenges the entire way we think about confidence and success. You don’t have to be loud and gregarious. In fact, quiet people can be way more effective in just about every situation— even against those aggressive CEO types that mansplain all the time. We shouldn’t be labeling reserved people as shy or under-developed. We should be building them up, and showing them what they’re capable of.
2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey
There’s a good reason this book has been a best-seller for such a long time. It’s practical. It gets result. I’m a big fan of Habit 7 — sharpen the saw. Lots of people out there still think the path to success is working 10 or 12 hours a day and never taking a break. They actually feel guilty about relaxing and recharging their batteries, and want to make the rest of us feel that way too. Renewal isn’t just about watching Netflix. It has physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual components.
1. Atomic Habits, James Clear
This book delivers exactly what it promises — how to start good habits and keep them up. It tears down a lot of the myths touted by other personal growth books. For example, changing your environment and “choice architectures” does way more to nurture good habits than trying to give yourself pep talks. Bullshit factor: 0.
There’s nothing wrong with reading books to become better. You don’t have to be miserable or broken for them to benefit you. The best ones do more than simply deliver pep talks couched in funny stories and fairy tales about your future. They change the way you think about concepts you took for granted like identity, productivity, and personality. They tell you how to deal with the world in front of you.
