Summary

The article humorously compiles 20 unintentionally funny newspaper headlines that demonstrate the importance of careful word choice and proofreading.

Abstract

The article titled "20 Serious Headlines That Were Accidentally Hilarious" showcases the unintended comedic value that can arise from newspaper headlines. It emphasizes the critical role of editing and proofreading in writing, as poor word choice or placement can lead to headlines that are absurd or nonsensical. The piece uses humor to illustrate common pitfalls in journalism, such as redundancy, ambiguity, and lack of clarity. It also serves as a cautionary reminder to writers about the potential for their work to be misinterpreted or ridiculed if not carefully reviewed before publication.

Opinions

The author suggests that while the journalists behind the headlines may have been aiming for serious reporting, their final products inadvertently became sources of laughter due to oversight or poor judgment.
The article implies that even with modern resources and advice on crafting effective headlines, mistakes can still occur, highlighting the timeless nature of the challenge.
It pokes fun at the absurdity of some headlines, such as "Students Cook and Serve Grandparents," while also acknowledging the difficulty of creating impactful headlines that can capture a reader's attention.
The piece humorously questions the logic behind certain headlines, like "Bridge Closure Date: Thursday or October," pointing out the confusion they can cause.
The author uses hyperbole and sarcasm to underscore the importance of clear communication, as seen in the commentary on headlines like "Cows Lose Their Jobs As Milk Prices Drop," which anthropomorphizes cows in a humorous way.
The article takes a light-hearted jab at the profession, implying that even seasoned journalists and editors can produce headlines that are open to ridicule, as evidenced by the collection of blunders presented.

20 Serious Headlines That Were Accidentally Hilarious

These writers weren’t going for laughs, but they got them.

If you’re a writer, you spend a lot of time thinking about headlines. What will get readers to stop and look at your stuff right now? And thankfully, we have plenty of resources made by helpful people like Cynthia Marinakos to help us come up with our own great headlines.

But what about the good old newspaper headline? What can we learn from those? Even though times have changed, it isn’t really all that different. A headline in a newspaper had to catch your attention, or you’d skim right past it.

Editing and proofreading are important. It’s worthwhile going back over your title and subtitle one last time before you push that submit button. I collected up some misfires from the newsprint world that shows you what happens when a writer or editor slips.

I’m not sure if the journalists that came up with the following 20 titles were geniuses or a little short on thinking juice. But it really shows how word choice and placement can make or break your headline!

1. Museums Full of History

You can’t say they were wrong with this one! The only museum that isn’t history is the Time Traveller’s Look Forward Collection, where they showcase things that will be happening someday.

2. Hospitals Resort To Hiring Doctors

They were making do with some temp guys they hired off Craigslist and a couple of donkey veterinarians from Ubetchastan, but the bodies are starting to pile up. Time to process those patients and get that success rate above 3%.

3. Students Cook and Serve Grandparents

This doesn’t seem right. How could students do this meal justice? I don’t want some novice cooking me if I’m ever a grandparent. I expect connoisseur treatment, at least a 3-star chef.

4. A-Rod Goes Deep, Wang Hurt

I think this is about baseball? Those sports stars, always screwing around. I hope Wang’s okay.

5. Bugs Flying Around With Wings Are Flying Bugs

It’s good to get clarification on stuff like this. I thought those bugs with wings were insects all this time! Nomenclature matters. Just ask Gina Carano.

6. Study Shows Frequent Sex Increases Pregnancy Chances

But what if you just cut back on sex to like, never? Does that mean that pregnancy chances drop? Weird correlation there. It’s almost like the two are connected somehow.

7. Safety Meeting Ends In Accident

Get everyone in one room so they use up all the oxygen. Then yack at them about boring stuff and show them mind-numbing slideshows about safety until they’re dopey and distracted. What did they think would happen? Someone trips on a paperclip, or falls off their chair, or accidentally cuts their wrists.

8. Diana Was Still Alive Only Hours Before She Died

Before this, there was doubt. Maybe Diana wasn’t alive when she died? But now we know conclusively. Diana was indeed alive until the moment of her death. Conspiracy theorists can let this one rest now that we’re sure.

9. Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

When they planned this raid, they didn’t really expect weapons. They were looking for a shipment of extra-large adult diapers, clown shoes, and knockoff Axe bodyspray. Surprise! Guns and ammo instead. Guess their intel was a little off.

10. Bridge Closure Date: Thursday or October

It’s hard to plan for this detour. My morning commute is gonna be more complicated for sure! So, Thursday is your first bet. But if it doesn’t work out, then all of next month. Got it. I put that in the calendar under events titled “makes no sense.”

11. Breathing Oxygen Linked to Staying Alive

We used to suspect this was true. Now it’s been confirmed by diligent and fearless reporters who took turns holding their breath. If your oxygen is cut off, you die. Some reporters were fatally harmed in the effort to bring you this news.

12. Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Rates Fall Significantly After Age 25

We knew that it drops off pretty fast when you turn 20. I guess teen pregnancy chances go into the negative numbers around age 25.

That means that teen pregnancy rates for me and my wife are around negative one million. I’m in the clear.

13. Missippi’s Literacy Program Shows Improvement

Even Canadians can spell Misspippip! I wonder how that writer is doing with the real hard words like hat and man.

14. Miracle Cure Kills Fifth Patient

Maybe this is a reverse miracle. Those first four were going to die, so it saved them. But it killed the guy that was going to live without it!

15. One-Armed Man Applauds The Kindness of Strangers

This is a zen koan. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Are they just making fun of this dude? I wonder how he felt when he saw this headline. Who knows, maybe it was his idea.

16. Cows Lose Their Jobs As Milk Prices Drop

What’s a cow supposed to do when the milk factory downsized. How will she afford to buy milk, cheese, and other groceries for her growing calves without that steady income?

Barn rent money isn’t going to drop from the sky.

17. Cop Makes Arrest in Bathroom After Smelling Crack

We don’t want to know what weird stuff this cop is into. I know it’s in the line of doody, but really?

18. Seventeen Remain Dead in Morgue Shooting Spree

This reminds me of the time that the two-seater Cessna airplane crashed into that cemetery in Ubetchastan.

So far, they found two survivors but recovered 300 bodies. The digging continues, but the hope of finding more survivors is low.

19. Forecasters Call For Weather On Monday

Those forecasters are 100% right! A great source for all my future weather news.

It shows the power of broad strokes. Narrow your report down too far and you really need to know what you’re talking about.

20. Patrick Stewart Surprises Fan With a Life-Threatening Illness!

It’s a heartwarming story about a guy who finally gets to meet his favorite star. Bonus: he receives the touch of death the very same day.

There’s nothing like giving a fan a shocking gift that will kill him in short order. I hope he gave the lucky fellow his autograph too.

Final Thoughts

If you’re writing headlines, it pays to double-check your work. If you screw it up, it might be fun for all the wrong reasons.

We have it easier compared to an old-school reporter. At least if it’s online you still might be able to edit it. Back in the day, once a few thousand newspapers got printed, it was all over but the laughing and pointing.

Some of these headlines were on purpose. But most of them were an embarrassing screwup. Editors were slacking.

Have you ever released your work into the wild only to notice later that you made a tragic mistake in your wording? Let us know in the responses if you got a gooder.

Want to stay in touch? You can catch up with me here.