2 Reasons Relationship Anxiety Is Good For You
“I can see — you are suffering from anxiety because of me.”
When my boyfriend uttered these words, I self-reflected like never before.
I am aware, open and chilled out (at least that’s how my friends describe me!), so what was happening?
“So many things can cause anxiety in relationships, and often that anxiety differs depending on what brought it on.” — Wendy M Yoder, Calm Clinic.
Relationship anxiety is good for you because you get the chance to show your colours and mix them in a palette of practical awareness.
It has shown me how to become more self-aware. Here are the two reasons that will light up relationship anxiety for anyone, but pronounce positive effects on who you are as an individual person if accepted.
The kindest boyfriend can still give you anxiety and it is OK. Here’s how:
Messiness
“People are messy; therefore relationships will be messy. Don’t be surprised by messiness.” — Timothy Keller
“Move your socks” or “Wash the dishes” are such marital injected conversations that I HATE. But if I ignore the messiness, it gives me anxiety. I consider myself a clean person, so it is hard to ignore when my personal space is plastered with dirty clothes.
How do you stop nagging and start accepting?
Vocalise that it gets to you — that is, in a friendly fashion. Relationship anxiety can happen when you are happy because it is totally normal; it comes in different shapes and sizes. The more you learn to accept that anxiety will appear in a heap of mess, then the more you can work on it, like me.
Remember: Your partner cares, so they will try their best to make you happy (or so they should!). I have noticed after living together for a few months now that he makes me more effort in cleaning away as it helps my worry go astray.
Yet the worries come back because we are not the same in many ways, including:
Our habits don’t match
“The best kind of happiness is a habit you’re passionate about.” ― Shannon L. Alder
We perform habits because they make us happy. Habits aren’t performed after a while; they are embedded within our being and make us who we are.
I practice yoga and pray — I’d say that is my habit to start the day. He lives to take photos and listen to music — I’d say that is how his spirit stays alive. These habits are what make us creative souls, however, other habits are not so agreeable…
Lying in bed and watching TV constantly is something he does to unwind. I don’t. I prefer to read and get lost in a book. My anxiety arises when I hear the voices on the screen or the light hurts my eyes as I attempt to settle before sleeping. The annoyance allows the anxiety to grow inside of me. It is up to me to decide differently. Get a grip and let it be.
Dealing with relationship anxiety when everything is going well will allow you to grow!
Do you get annoyed by things that then cause anxious feelings to arise? You have the power to breathe. Breathe it all out and surrender to the situation that doesn’t help you.
All in all:
Relationship anxiety is good because you grow and stay in the know.
Don’t worry, it’s normal that when dealing with relationship anxiety, feelings of uncertainty arise about yourself. Just ask yourself why — it could be the two main reasons I listed above.
Before you go
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