2 of the Most Important Words in Early Dating

Advice That Could Have Saved Me Heartache

I’ve dated a lot over the years. Sometimes things progress slowly, and other times they move at warp speed.

When things progress really quickly, it can be easy to skim over expectations or compatibilities: things like exclusivity, wanting kids or marriage, lifestyle choices, or even sleep schedules.

It can be easy to skip over getting to know a person.

In the excitement of quick chemistry, people often fill in gaps with fantasy. The spark is there, so it must be magical; it must be perfect, right? Maybe…but more likely, it’s too early to know. You haven’t had a chance to find that out yet.

I prefer a slower build in a relationship because it gives more of an opportunity to build trust and to see who a person really is, and how compatible the people are together.

People tend to put their best forward, especially at the beginning, and when wanting to attract or impress each other. Sometimes how a person presents isn’t quite how they really are — maybe they’re not even aware of how they show up. We all have our blind spots.

That’s where these two words come in:

We’ll see.

As you get to know someone, wait and see — especially when you’re really excited, or thinking that they might be “the one.”

Yes, continue getting to know them, AND also, keep your future fantasies in check with the words: “We’ll see.”

“We have so much in common!”

“We both want the same things!”

“I never thought I’d meet someone like him/her/them!”

“He’s so sweet/thoughtful/(insert any other adjective)”

“She’s exactly what I was looking for!”

We’ll see.

Sometimes people turn out to be different from how they first seemed. Maybe they had you fooled. Maybe they have themselves fooled.

Often, people don’t live up to our fantasies of them. If we allow our fantasies to get too far ahead, then we can build up a person to be someone that they’re not. Then, when we get to know them, we can be disappointed, upset, or any array of emotions. They can feel hurt because we didn’t get to know them, or give them a chance to be themselves. We might have put expectations on them that they didn’t know about or agree to.

“But I thought…”

Take time to get to know someone. We’ll see.

Maybe they are exactly who you’ve been looking for. Maybe they are a great match! Let time tell…

*Author’s note: This was inspired by a short video from Matthew Hussey, with the advice to use “We’ll see” in early dating. I can’t find the specific video to provide a link. Thanks Matthew Hussey!