15 Things You Don’t Even Think Your Nanny Knows About You
Nanny knows some of your little dirty secrets
If you never work as a nanny, I can tell you it is much harder than society can imagine. Movies like to portray this perfect babysitter life, where the nanny collects kids at school and takes them to the park. Then she casually chats with other nannies on the playground and collects her paycheck when she drops kids safely at their home.
Nannies are often children’s second parents — they are raising them and are always responsible for their well-being and safety. Working as a babysitter doesn’t only mean taking care of kids. You get a close and intimate perspective of what is happening in the family. You get sucked in their world, their problems, and battles.
You know nothing about one family, till you don’t work with them. Some parents are discreet and private, while others like to share and are more approachable. But no matter how you are as a person, your nanny knows things about you that you don’t even think about it.
1. About your midnight snacks
No judgment — we all craving ice cream at night. And cookies. And big spoons of Nutella. Gummy bears. Old crackers when it is nothing else left.
Messy kitchen, crumbs, and empty packaging on the countertop are the evidence we notice in the morning when we are preparing breakfast for the kids.
2. How clean is your house
Guests see the house the way you want it, but nanny sees it when nobody is around. Some parents have cleaners, so they — almost — never clean. Some of them clean all the time. Some of them like their house dirty.
Some houses have dirty rugs, unflushed toilets, and moldy food on the shelves for ages, while other shine as if they were from a real estate commercial.
3. Who are you behind closed doors
We know who you are when your friends, family, and other parents, leave. And how you are acting when you think nobody is watching.
Nannies are often very close to the family, so parents quickly forget about them, and they let their guards down so we can detect your true colors.
Most of the parents are almost the same, plus more screaming and less smiling. Some of them become ugly when nobody is around, and I’m not talking about their appearance.
4. Which kid is your favorite
Some parents have a favorite kid, and most of them are in big denial about it. They feel guilty about their feelings, or they truly don’t think they are favoring one kid.
But nanny sees the way you treat them differently — it is in the little things. Details as extra cuddles, calmer tone, the contrast in interaction, more patience, understanding, etc.
5. How is your marriage/relationship
If you are not a single parent, then we know how hot or cold is your relationship. From fights, icy atmosphere, deadly stares or kisses, giggling, dates, little romantic gestures…
The nanny can only say what she already knows — love is crazy, and relationships require a lot of work.
6. How you respond to a stressful situation
Are you calm and organized under pressure, or you start panicking and crying at every little inconvenience?
Your nanny knows how you respond to stressful situations like accidents, house problems, or when you are on the phone with your insurance company.
7. How often you use your kids for excuses
Oh, I wish I could go, but I need to help kids with the homework!
I can’t join you this weekend. I’m taking the kids to the mountains.
I need to cancel tonight! My babysitter is sick.
You wouldn’t believe how frequently parents use their children as an excuse.
8. How often you misunderstand your children
Once I babysat a little girl and she was drawing a picture for her dad to surprise him when he returns from work. She drew for almost an hour which for toddlers means eternity. She used her favorite colors and stickers while focusing on her little surprise. Every time she heard the sound of the car from the street, she ran to look if her dad finally got home.
When he returned, he was on the phone with the client, angry and stressed. He greeted her, quickly complimented the picture, and went straight to the home office. The next day he told me his daughter was moody the whole evening, and he got upset with her attitude. They argued, and she was crying.
I explained why she reacted like that, but I don’t believe he truly understood. Of course, he couldn’t know how long she had been drawing and with how much care only to surprise her dad.
Parents overwhelmed with worries and stress easily forget they represent the whole world to their children. Coming home from work is just a part of the day for parents — but for your kids, it is the best part of their day!
9. Are you really a nice person
Most people think they are kind and good souls. Mostly they are — we can’t be nice and happy all the time because we all have our problems and bad days.
But nanny knows if you are a rude human, wearing a nice person costume. We notice how you treat others, how you listen, and what you are talking behind others’ backs — this reveals your true personality.
10. What food you eat
And I mean what food you really eat, not the one you are pretending to consume. Being around your fridge, kitchen, and trash every day means we know what you ate, what did you throw away, and what did you buy when you have been on the diet and full of optimism.
11. How close you are with your family
Nannies know how bad or good is your relationship with your family. Are you close, or you barely speak? Do you visit often or you prefer to meet them once per year? How much trauma or unsolved problems are in your family relationships?
Nannies also know how you really feel about your in-laws and how close you are with them. You don’t need to tell them, but your facial expression, body language, and energy speak for you.
12. How lazy you are
Do you love collecting dirty dishes till your housekeeper finally appears? Are you the type to postpone everything? Do you spend most of your days off in bed? Are you driving to places five-minute walking distance away?
13. About your parenting skills
Behind every well-behaved or spoiled kid are the parents and their raising methods. Are you a strict and consistent parent, or are you too nice, and you let them get away with anything?
Kids need rules, chores, and boundaries — they are growing up in little adults. If you are slacking with your kids at a young age, you will get it double back when they are teenagers.
14. If you, your kids, or everyone together needs a therapist
The nanny can be — involuntary! — involved in the family drama and can often become a house psychiatrist. An extra pair of ears, the comforter, the mediator.
Sadly, there is still a lot of stigma around mental health, illness, and therapy. But some parents and kids struggle with bigger problems than occasional tantrums and disagreement. Family therapy can be the right solution for families in struggles!
15. Everything else what you think we don’t know, but we do because of your kids
Every person has their secret or things they want to keep to themselves. But — unfortunately — your kids have a big mouth and a lot to share, even if you don’t ask them anything. Most kids love to talk and share their family business with everyone willing to listen.
Your nanny probably knows why and when you fought with your spouse, who said ugly words, what your friends did, who offended the grandma, what happened with the neighbors, and so on.
