15 Simple Rules for a Good Life
You already know what to do.
If you could choose between reading a motivational book and starting a difficult conversation with a loved one, which would you pick?
Let me guess: You’ll take the book. Because it’s easier. It’s drama-free. It makes you feel good.
Difficult conversations, however, can be…well, difficult. They can be painful and frustrating, even if they’re necessary.
But here’s the unpopular truth: You don’t need to read one more self-help book to become your best self. You need to apply simple rules you’ve known about for years or even decades.
Some of these rules are common sense. Others become obvious when you listen to your intuition.
Some are simple to implement. Others might take a little more courage. But all of them can help you simplify and improve your life one bit at a time.
A good life is made up of small steps.
2,500 years ago, Confucius said that the man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
Most people chase get-rich-quick-schemes and want to experience massive changes without effort.
But the harsh truth is that “success” is made up of small steps you take right now, not “one day”.
Big moves barely make a lasting impact on your life. It’s your small but steady routines that shape your future.
Success is a numbers game.
Did you know that J.K Rowlings was turned down by more than ten publishers before releasing Harry Potter?
Or that Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse got rejected more than 300 times?
Without trying, you’ll never know if your ideas are good or bad. And if you give up after the first rejections, you might’ve given up way too soon.
The more often that you choose courage, the more likely you’ll achieve your goals.
“Life is a series of failures punctuated by brief successes.“
— James Altucher
There’s a difference between hearing and listening.
Hearing is a passive ability we practice subconsciously. Listening, however, happens actively, only when we intend to do it.
And the harsh truth is that most people are miserable at listening. They hear what you say, but they don’t care about the content and context of your message.
If you want to stand out from the masses and be a good companion, become a better listener and pay attention to what people really say.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
— Epictetus
You don’t need to know all the answers.
Most people live miserable lives because they think they need all the answers to be happy.
The problem is you’ll never have all the answers. Life is an exciting journey full of ups and downs, and even if you’re well prepared, you’ll face unexpected challenges.
Embrace the uncertainty and trust the flow of your life.
Don’t expect life to be hard.
When great things happen, we often say it’s too good to be true.
That’s because most of us expect life to be difficult, not great.
As soon as something sounds too good to be true, we hesitate. And that’s not even your fault. It’s just the way your brain is wired.
Your brain doesn’t want you to be happy. It wants you to be safe and survive. That’s why you always think of possible threats and negative side effects, even if you experience a wonderful situation.
Even though this instinct helped us survive and reproduce for millions of years, it’s now holding us back from living happy and simple lives.
Keep in mind that your expectations create your experiences and welcome the beauty of life without constantly looking for the bad in the good.
“Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”
— Roald Dahl
Surround yourself with people smarter than you.
Life is too short to spend most of your time gossiping or talking about celebrity news.
Surround yourself with people who talk about ideas and goals instead of chatting about other people.
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”
— Marissa Meyer
Great relationships take effort.
Most people have ridiculous expectations of relationships. They expect their partners to be picture-perfect and to prioritize their wishes above anything else.
The harsh truth is that love requires action.
Long-lasting relationships don’t happen by accident. You build them through effort.
You need to get out of your own way. Really.
If you’re not where you want to be yet, it’s because you’re not doing the things you should be doing.
Being disciplined means doing the things you said you’d do. And let’s be honest: If you’d do all the things you’ve been talking about for years, you’d already be who you want to be.
But you’re constantly standing in your own way and sabotaging your success.
You’re coming up with excuses on why you can’t leave the couch for the gym or why one more cheat meal isn’t that bad.
A great life isn’t about huge successes. It’s about sticking to your own promises, especially when you don’t feel like doing so. And if you truly want to do what you said you’d do, you need to be well prepared.
If you want to eat healthier and lose weight, you need to prepare your meals in advance.
If you want to work out in the morning, you need to prepare your clothes the night before.
You need to eliminate the distractions and barriers that might encourage you not to do the right things.
Don’t trust your willpower. Expect that you’ll be lazy and be prepared to kick your own butt.
“You can have results or excuses, not both.”
— Arnold Schwarzenegger
Less is more.
By owning fewer clothes, you can save time when choosing your outfit.
Putting fewer items on your to-do list means you can work without distractions and focus on essential tasks.
A small circle of friends means you can build deep relationships instead of circling around small talk.
While we often try to be bigger, many things in life are better when you have less.
The simplest recipe for a good life is identifying the essentials and eliminating the rest.
Done is (almost) always better than perfect.
According to studies among college students, more people than ever before are trapped in perfectionism. That’s probably also why so many people are unsatisfied and constantly stressed.
The bad news is that most of what you’ll do in life won’t be perfect.
The good news is that most of the time, it doesn’t matter, and you can just continue giving your best, knowing that you’ll make mistakes along the way.
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
— Dita Von Teese
You are the byproduct of your decisions.
According to Psychology Today, we’re making thousands of decisions per day. These decisions ultimately shape your entire life.
It’s not the big choices that change your life but the small, subtle, and daily decisions.
Choosing a healthy and nourishing breakfast over a donut won’t immediately change your life, but making that choice for long enough will indeed have a lasting impact.
“The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.”
— Charles Duhigg
Giving up on time can be your superpower.
Motivational quotes like “never give up” are great, but they’re missing a priceless life lesson: Sometimes, you realize that something’s not meant for you. And if that happens, giving up is easier and more effective than clinging to a dream that’s not even yours.
Motivation and empowerment are great, but sometimes, we make wrong choices and run after dreams that aren’t meant to be ours. In these cases, giving up can be a superpower instead of a weakness.
The quality of your life Is determined by how much responsibility you take.
If you don’t take responsibility for your life, someone else will do it. The problem is that this person will have other priorities than you, but they’ll ultimately be able to have control over your life.
“When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.“
— Dalai Lama
Everybody has problems.
We often believe that our problems are the most relevant and completely ignore the individual circumstances of our friends and family members.
We react harshly, don’t listen properly, and put our interests before theirs.
The truth is that everybody has problems. We’re all in the same boat, and shit happens to all of us.
If we’d all be a little more compassionate and supportive, life could be a whole lot easier for all of us.
Smile a little more
Science proves that smiling can trick your brain and make you feel happier. If that’s not a simple way to improve your life, I don’t know what is.
Here’s a life hack I’ve been applying the past three years: Every time you see yourself in a mirror, give yourself a smile. You’ll look better and feel better. Win-Win!
Keep this in mind
A good life doesn’t need to be complicated or costly.
Instead of focusing on radical changes, try embracing the small, joyful moments in life.
Most of the time, change and growth happen in the most unexpected situations, and reminding ourselves of some simple yet timeless strategies is enough to bring more joy and happiness into our days.
And that’s what life is ultimately about, right?
