avatarEmma Austin

Summarize

15 Sexy Holiday Gifts That Will Really Stuff Your Stocking

Have yourself a spicy little Christmas

Photo by: Pshevlotskyy Oleksandr / Shutterstock

Christmas is an incredibly special holiday for me.

It makes me warm and fuzzy for all the obvious reasons.

The decorations and the colorful lights give me genuine joy. The dim atmosphere and cozy mood make me peacefully zen.

The comfy clothes and warm snuggle sessions keep me in my happy place. Preparing a big family feast hits me right in the nostalgic feels.

But then there’s also the fact that my love language happens to be gifts.

Christmas is my time to shine. I get to spoil everybody with little presents that I put a lot of thought into. I can show my appreciation in a way that’s truly meaningful to me. And I get to feel all of it in return when it’s my turn to unwrap my gifts.

It’s one big lovefest and I’m absolutely here for it.

And the best part is that I usually do two gift exchanges. There’s the family friendly one in the morning. Then there’s a very grownup one at night — just me, Mr. Austin, and the lock on our bedroom door.

I wish I had started that tradition sooner, because it’s a perfect way to unwind and work out all the stress after a really busy day. It’s a good way to reconnect as a couple, because that can be surprisingly tough to do during the holidays.

Best of all, we end up with a few new things to help us have better sex and get off even harder.

And if you want to give your special someone something naughty for Christmas, I’ve got a few personal recommendations for you.

Sexy Stocking Stuffers

I don’t know if it’s because I’m really into cute little things or if I just like having more gifts to unwrap, but I just love stocking stuffers.

Like sometimes I even think it would be fun to do an all stocking stuffer Christmas, with nothing under the tree except a few sleepy cats.

So you bet your biscuits I do stocking stuffers for the dirty gift exchange, too.

And it’s super easy because there are so many fun little sex accessories that are perfect for it.

Lube is the obvious choice, especially since you really don’t want to run out of it. But it’s more fun when it’s flavored lube. There’s just something really playful about it. And it makes blowjobs tastier, more enthusiastic, and longer lasting, so it’s really a gift for everyone.

This year, I really got into the Wet Desserts flavored lubes. They’re not the best performing lube by any means — they can get a bit tacky and sticky. But they make up for that by being really yummy, so I still keep the Frosted Cupcake lube in close reach.

But if I was going to put a bottle of lube in a stocking, I think I’d go with the Jo Gelato Mint Chocolate lube. The taste really reminds me of After Eight chocolates, and After Eights make me think of Christmas so it’s practically made for Boxing Day blowjobs.

Condoms are a good choice, too. I don’t have as much experience with those, but you can throw a few studded and ribbed ones in there to play around with. Try some thin ones or some that glow in the dark.

Photo from Condomania

And after doing a big flavored condom taste test, I can tell you that the Trustex Vanilla condoms are great to have in your mouth.

You should definitely consider some massage oil or gel, too. It’s a secret weapon for having more sex, because it’s an easy and simple way to get intimate and physical. Not every massage has a happy ending, but it definitely improves your chances of getting laid.

I’ve tried massage candles. I’ve got a massage bar. I’ve had my back and thighs rubbed with a few different kinds of lube. But lately I pretty much stick to the Slow Sex Full Body Massage or the Slow Sex Warming Massage Gel, depending on my mood. They’re both slick, smooth, and slippery — and they wash off fairly easily too.

Photo by author

Actually, the ultimate stocking stuffer might be the Slow Sex Experience Box. It has both those massage gels, but a bunch of other great stuff too. Mouthwatering spray to give sloppier head. Clit balm for extra arousal. Fingerplay lube and great lube for buttstuff. Basically, everything you’d need for an all-night fuckfest — or a bunch of dirty date nights.

And I can’t help but mention the Magic Wand Micro. It’s a version of the classic Magic Wand but shrunk down to a teensy 4.5 inches, which makes it an incredibly cute stocking gift.

Liberator Heart Wedge

I was instantly sold on the Liberator Wedge.

As soon as I tucked it under my pelvis, I knew it would make sex so much more comfortable.

And when I felt how deep it made the dick go, I was mad at myself for ever fucking without it.

I’ve got zero complaints about it. It’s absolutely fantastic. Throw the Ramp into the mix and it’s even better.

But I was still jealous of the Heart Wedge.

I figured it’d do the same thing as the regular Wedge — better sex, intense pleasure, more comfort. Except it would look so much more adorable.

So when I could swing it, I treated myself to one. And I have zero regrets.

Photo by author

It’s smaller than the standard Wedge, but still nice and sturdy. It’s really cute, so I can actually leave it out. And it’s not too big to hug if I want something to squeeze.

It doesn’t feel out of place on my bed, so I don’t need to put it away after I’m done getting my legs bent back.

And that combination of cuteness and practicality is what makes it such a great gift.

Kix’ies Thigh Highs

Like flavored lube, lingerie is another one of those gifts that’s really for the two of you.

One of you gets to feel hella attractive. The other gets some top quality eye candy.

Total win-win.

But there are a lot of ladies who feel kind of intimidated by lingerie. I know I used to be. I loved the idea — I just didn’t think I could pull it off.

That’s one of the reasons I’ve been nuts for Kix’ies thigh highs ever since I got my first pair.

Photo by author

They’re incredibly attractive. They’ll take any cute girl and turn her into an absolute smoke show.

They’re also incredibly simple and really easy to pull off. If you wear socks and stockings, you can rock these without feeling all self-conscious or second guessing yourself.

It’s just a good, safe bet for lingerie — but without compromising one bit on the sexiness.

Lovense Flexer Dual Panty Vibrator

I’ve always wanted a panty vibrator because I have all these fantasies about getting frisky in public.

Getting stimulated discreetly while I’m out on a walk. Trying to keep my cool while my clit is pulsing with pleasure. Feeling like I’m totally under someone else’s control, like they’ve cast a pervy spell over me.

It’s a really fun idea. But it’s one of those fantasies that’s stayed a fantasy.

I just don’t really have a lot of opportunities to play like that out in the open. And even if I did, I’m not sure I’d always be able to work up the courage to do it.

I still love playing with wearable sex toys, but I tend to go with the more heavy duty ones. The ones that are a bit too loud, a bit too obvious, and probably way too intense to use around other people.

Because those might not be the best option if you’re trying to be sneaky, but they’re great for spicing things up around the house. They’re even really fun to use when you’re in the same room together.

Photo by author

You still get the intense arousal of giving up control over your pleasure. You still get the playfulness that comes with remote control action. But you also get way more stimulation than you’d get from a quiet little panty vibe.

I’ve tried a few different wearable toys that would make great gifts. But it’s the Flexer that really impressed me this year.

It’s a dual vibrator, so it buzzes inside you while also giving your clit some action.

It also has a secret weapon — a flexing motion that’s meant to imitate the come hither motion you get when you’re getting fingered by someone who really knows what they’re doing. Except the flexing doesn’t just add stimulation to the G-spot — it also plays with your clit at the same time.

It’s just plain amazing. Definitely too loud and strong for public play, but it gives you the kind of action that will make you glad you stayed in.

Womanizer Wave Stimulating Showerhead

If you don’t have a massaging showerhead, I can’t recommend it enough.

It’s better for getting squeaky clean. It makes your shower routine feel so much more thorough. It feels really pleasant on your skin.

And it just so happens to give really wet and satisfying orgasms.

Something about the gentleness of the water, the power of the spray, and the ability to aim it right where you want just does the pussy good.

I’m no stranger to riding a shower spray to a climax, but this year was the first time I tried a showerhead that was actually designed for masturbating. And it absolutely delivers.

Photo by author

The Womanizer Wave has really intuitive controls, which is perfect for getting the water just right. It has three great settings, including a twisty one that’s clearly made just for clit stimulation. And once you pop the flow restrictor off, it’s got all the pressure you need to hit as many orgasms as you want.

Lots of women take their shower routines very seriously, and this is a really good addition to it.

If you get her something that upgrades her shower, she’ll thank you for sure.

But go one step further and give her a shower that can make her come and you’ll have one incredibly happy lady on your hands.

Britney 2.0 by Tantaly

On our very first Sexmas, I gifted my husband a torso doll that we ended up called Pussy Tits.

We didn’t call her that just to be vulgar. We did it because that’s literally what she is — a pair of free-floating tits with a fuckable pussy.

It was a novelty gift. I didn’t know if he’d actually stick his dick in it, but I knew it would make it laugh and that was good enough.

Well, he never did fuck her. But mostly because I claimed her as my own.

I grabbed a handful of those wobbly bazongas and couldn’t stop playing with them. So I never gave her back.

That settled it for me. After having my way with her, I knew for sure I wanted a proper sex doll. Not just a set of knockers, but hips and ass, two holes instead of one, and some curves would be nice too.

Three dolls later and I’ve finally found her.

Photo by author

The Britney torso doll is kind of perfect. She’s got a banging body. A gorgeous, squeezable rack. An ass worth grabbing and smacking.

And because she’s not a full sized doll you can move her around without throwing out your back.

If you put a novelty toy like Pussy Tits under the tree, you’ll get a good laugh out of it.

But if you tuck Britney under there, you’ll have a full blown fuckbuddy.

You can take your threesome roleplay to the next level. You can have a really luxurious solo session with her. And you can just paw her all over when you’re in the mood to feel up a cutie.

No matter what you do with her, it’s always a really good time.

Lovense Gravity Thruster

Dildos are lots of fun, but thrusters are even better.

They’re not usually as quite as soft. They’re less supple, too. But they’ve got one big advantage over every single dildo — they’ll do all the thrusting for you.

A thruster is going to give you a good, satisfying, hands-free bang. If you still want to pump it in and out of you, it’ll add an extra oomph you can’t get just by working your wrist.

It’s a decent way to do some threesome roleplay, too.

My first thruster was the Velvet Mini Teddy, and I was totally over the moon with it.

But lately, I’ve been really into the Lovense Gravity.

Photo by author

It’s got a good thrust. The vibrations are really nice, too. But the best part is how easy it is to control, because the Lovense app is so intuitive and convenient.

That means no messing around with the base of the toy to get the right settings. No hopping off the artificial dick to figure out the buttons. You don’t even have to control it yourself if you don’t want to — put your partner in charge and let them decide how you get fucked.

It’s the only thing that was missing from the thruster experience — and now the Gravity has it.

Liberator Fascinator Throw

I’ll never stop praising the Fascinator.

I think I talk about it more than any sex toy, wedge, or whatever. Because I really do believe it’s a sex essential. Unless I’m getting naughty on the sex furniture, I never fuck or masturbate without it.

It’s fully waterproof, but it’s still soft and comfortable against the skin. It’ll protect your sheets, your couch, the backseat of your car — anything you want to fool around on.

Photo by author

And it’s a fantastic gift because it means more of the good stuff. More messy, lubey fun. More squirting. More fucking on the furniture you normally might not fuck on.

It also means no more wet spot.

And yeah, I know a lot of guys like to be heroes about sleeping on the wet spot. He’ll proudly take that side of the bed no matter how hard he made her squirt. But I bet he’d like sleeping dry even more — and with the Fascinator, he can.

The Snail Vibe

Some weird toys are pretty much just weird.

The Masturball was like that. It’ll tickle and squeeze a dick in some interesting ways, but at the end of the day it still feels like you’re stroking it with a plastic basketball.

So, I was ready for the Snail Vibe to be the same kind of thing. A strange-looking toy that’s weird to use and stays in the drawer until you’re in the mood for something unusual.

But nope. Turns out the Snail Vibe is an everyday toy. The kind that belongs near your bed so you can grab it whenever you want a nice, solid orgasm.

Photo by author

Because it’s basically a rabbit vibrator — an insertable toy that vibrates inside you with an external part to pleasure your clit at the same time.

Except it’s even better than that. Most rabbits will have little ears that tease and tickle your clit. But the Snail Vibe has a vibrating snail shell that unfurls when you pump the toy inside you and curls back up when you pump it out. So instead of teasing your clit, it stays right up against it and gives it non-stop stimulation.

That results in blended orgasms that are so fucking good and satisfying that you’ll feel bad for calling the Snail Vibe weird in the first place.

A-Play Rise Thrusting Anal Plug

Not to brag or anything, but I’ve had a few dicks and dildos in my ass before.

So I figured I knew what I was in for with a thrusting butt toy.

I figured it’d be like getting my backdoor plowed, only with a bit more control over everything and a thrusting pace that doesn’t change unless I want it to. And maybe some vibrations to bring everything up a notch.

But then I got the A-Play Rise and found out that it was so much better than that.

Photo by author

The same deep thrusting I love during buttstuff.

The same kind of anal vibrations that have blown my mind before and will blow my mind for years to come.

But on top of that, this toy was hitting spots I didn’t even know I had. The pleasure was so deep, intense, and powerful that I was shocked at how hard it made me come.

I’ve had anal orgasms that were so good I wanted to skip the foreplay so I could write a blog post about them. But the Rise took it to another level.

So if you’re shacked up with someone who loves a bit of assplay, this is a toy they’ll definitely be excited to unwrap.

The Hismith Premium Sex Machine in Gorgeous Colors

The Hismith Premium Sex Machine is a good, solid fuckmachine.

It’s fairly lightweight but still heavy duty. It’s super powerful — I haven’t been able to make it all the way to full power, anyway. The speed, the angles, and the depth of penetration are all adjustable so you can get fucked the way you want to.

We don’t have sex robots yet, but this is pretty damn close.

And it feels kinky as hell. You’re submitting yourself to a pounding by an industrial machine, which is really subby even if you’re not tied down. Or you’re tying down your partner and giving them the pounding of a lifetime with almost zero effort, which is pretty damn dommy.

But the thing I really like about the Hismith Premium Sex Machine is that it comes in some really cute colors.

Photo by author

Instead of the black and chrome you get with a lot of BDSM stuff, this one comes in a pinkish purple, golden yellow, red, and light blue.

I went with the blue one personally, but they seriously all look gorgeous. I almost want to get them all, but that would be a bit much unless I specifically had a fetish for robot blowbangs.

The cute colors make it feel more playful and that makes it nicer for gifting. So if you were thinking of adding a mechanical third to your relationship, this is a really good way to do it.

Heat Up Your Holidays

Christmas can be an incredibly sexy holiday — but only if you make it one.

If you don’t plan any adult fun, you’re going to end up doing the visits, opening cards, swapping gifts, and packing up leftovers.

But you’re probably not gonna fuck until it’s all over.

Which is a real shame, because holiday sex is so cozy, loving, and playful. It really is special.

So, set some time aside with your partner so you can just fuck and have fun together. Swapping a few naughty gifts is a really good way to do that. Because it won’t really feel like Christmas until you get to play with your new toys.

This post is chock-a-block with affiliate links to fantastic sex toys and accessories! If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be ready for a nice and naughty Christmas!

If you liked this article, you should totally check out the How the Grinch Gaped Christmas (Cowgirl Anal, Whoresville, and the Porn Baldwin Brother) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!

Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my weekly newsletter for updates about new articles, podcast episodes, and spicy content! (I won’t send you anything without your enthusiastic consent!)

❤ If you liked this post, you might also love:

Sexuality
Sex
Christmas
Men
Women
Recommended from ReadMedium