14 Strategies for Managing Worry!
It makes you want to scream…
The constant stream of problems to solve and tasks to complete. The busyness of a hyper-connected world and the dark side of constant connection; have contributed to record high levels of anxiety. Of course, worry is the hallmark symptom of anxiety.
I recently found the best definition of worry. It was in the clinical psychology textbook Worry and its Psychological Disorders by Graham Davey and Adrian Wells.
From page 5: “Worry has been defined as a chain of thoughts and images, negatively affect-laden and relatively uncontrollable; it represents an attempt to engage in mental problem-solving on an issue whose outcome is uncertain but contains the possibility of one or more negative outcomes; consequently, worry relates closely to the fear process”.
I like this definition because it captures the elements of uncertainty and fear associated with worry. Worry, anxiety, and panic are common themes in my work in the mental health and substance use disorder arena. Worry, anxiety and panic can also become common in personal life; if I don’t manage things appropriately.
In interest of focusing on the solution I would like to offer 14 useful strategies to cope with worry:
1)Do NOT worry about worry: One of the main factors in differentiating between “normal” worry and clinically significant “anxiety” is the phenomenon of WORRY about WORRY. This phenomenon seems to be present in the more serious cases of anxiety we see. So if you worry, try not to worry about it. Worry is normal.
2) Focus on “Worst Case Scenario”: If you are able to visualize the worst possible outcome of the situation and envision how you would respond you can reduce worry in the present. This can also be thought of as “fear setting”, a technique made popular by blogger, podcaster and friendly cyborg, Tim Ferris.
3) Set aside “time” to worry: Sounds weird, but put worry on the calendar. Maintain a certain time each day to “worry” and problem-solve. Bring paper and a pen and start writing down contingencies and potential solutions. This can reduce the random and ongoing “worrying”. Try to do this exercise the same time each day. When worry “pops up” through the course of the day, tell yourself: “I will get to that tonight”. Psychological gymnastics. Reconditioning your brain.
4) Keep a pen and paper on your nightstand to write down the worries that keep you up at night: Trading on the principle of “getting it out of your head”. Get it down on paper and then go back to sleep.
5) Find a consultant to process the issue that you are worried about: Try to find someone who is an expert in the area of worry you lean toward (for example financial problems, addiction in the family, children struggling in school) and see if they can provide feedback. You are trying to focus your “problem-solving” on a specific target. In addition, you may uncover actual solutions.
6) Worry involves “problem-solving”. Try to identify the “next step” and stop there: The risk with worry is that you go down the rabbit hole of contingencies and potentialities. You tend to project well into the future. For example: you are worried about a particular health issue and you start ruminating on the situation. Next thing you know you are trying to figure out which long term nursing home you can get into based on your retirement fund. Instead focus on scheduling a doctor appointment with your primary care physician and letting it go.
7) Do not take on unrealistic, unlikely, or unimportant worries: Best example being those worries that are generated from our sensationalized news outlets. For example: They show you a story of someone who developed chronic headaches and they speculate it is from cell phone use. The headaches put the person into a depressed mood and he becomes a social outcast living a life of misery.
Next the “experts” are paraded out to tell you it is the end of the world as we know it. You spend the next 2 weeks on the internet trying to find out the likelihood of catching this illness, ways to prevent this illness and the prognosis if you do catch this illness. You have a worry bucket. Do not fill it up with click-bait.
8) Stay busy: George Bernard Shaw said: “The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about (think about) whether you are happy or not”. Keep moving and stay involved in activities and meaningful work. You can “crowd worry out of your mind”.
9) Avoid toxic people: If you are worried about a particular issue, talking to other people who are worriers and negative about life is a a recipe for disaster. Limit these interactions and walk away from relationships that leave you feeling drained.
10) It’s not the event but your reaction to the event that causes you distress: The stoics were the first to articulate the philosophy that you can choose your reaction to any event. This concept forms the foundation for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. Essentially you can rationally challenge your thinking. A common approach is the A-B-C-D model:
- A= Activating Event (what happened-the “facts”; example— she ignored me at the staff meeting when I shared my idea)
- B= Belief About the Event (our interpretation of the “facts”; In this case: “she doesn’t like me and she’s going to fire me soon if I don’t do better”)
- C=Consequences (related to our interpretation; In this case: anger toward the person, rude toward the person out of defensiveness)
- D=Dispute the Belief (what alternative explanation is there; In this case: maybe she was distracted, maybe she is thinking about it, even if she didn’t like the idea-it doesn’t mean I’m going to lose my job)
11) Clearly understand that worry doesn’t prevent the bad from happening: “The meta-cognitive model” states that people believe worry will prevent something bad from happening. Research indicates that it is common for people to maintain this underlying belief. It is easy to see how this would drive worry.
Preventative measures for worry. These are activities you can engage in “before” the worry rises up. As the name implies they are routine activities that, when applied consistently, can reduce the intensity of worry and the negative impact of worry. A good morning and evening routine, regular exercise and healthy diet are examples of preventative measures. Other examples include:
12) Prayer and Meditation: (preventative) Perhaps nothing is more universally talked about as a way to reduce stress, worry and the associated issues as prayer and meditation. Even if you don’t buy the spiritual aspects of prayer and medication, science tells us that consistent practice can “re-wire” the brain and create new neural pathways.
13) The “free” Three: (preventative) There are 3 “free” activities that have been proven to be effective in reducing stress and worry. These are 1) Music-listen as much as possible; 2) Outdoors-being outside even for a brief walk and 3) Laughter-YouTube is great for access to funny videos.
14) Community (preventative): Regular involvement in some type of group or community activity. Human beings are social creatures. Being around others provides a boost to our mood and reduces the negative impact of stress and worry.
Managing worry is an ongoing process. No one is free of worry. Give yourself a break. Find someone you can confide in and, if possible, a group that can support you…
If you are in Greenville SC or surrounding area check out our group opportunities at: www.favorgreenville.org. Also our breakthrough site youturn.net.
Originally published at recoverycartel.com.
