14 Lessons Learned From My Not-So-Boring Life

My life used to be, well, boring.

Ordinary and color-less, I drifted from one day to the next with little more than my active imagination to keep me from going stark raving mad. I had jobs I was good at but didn’t care for, a relationship with a partner who made me feel invisible, and a life that was noticeably absent of people and adventure.

I’m happy to say that my life now bears no resemblance to my life then. I’m out of those jobs and that relationship. My life is filled with healthy relationships and interesting adventures. This year, in particular, has been adventure-filled.

I just had a weekend filled with adventure. I’m in a long-distance relationship, and my partner and I tend to squeeze in a lot of activities in a short period of time, trying to make the most of our time together. We spent this last weekend kayaking, ax-throwing, hiking, and paddle boarding — all in the space of a weekend.

On Monday, we were exhausted, but while I was resting and he was flying back home, I thought about what I had learned from my adventures. We’ve had more than a few adventures in this relationship. How could I apply the lessons to my life?

Scuba Diving

I was privileged to go scuba diving with my partner on vacation. It’s been o my bucket list for ages, but I’d always chickened out. I was determined to give it a try. There were a few takeaways from my experience:

Don’t forget to breathe.

It sounds simple, but breathing is essential with scuba diving. The instructor reminded us to never hold our breath underwater. Sometimes, in times of great stress, we can easily forget to breathe. Scuba diving can teach us that it’s important to keep taking deep, even breaths, no matter what is going on.

Focus on the good, but be prepared for anything.

I had to switch my focus directly to the experience of scuba diving because it was intimidating and scary at first. When I began focusing on the coral reefs and sea life, I stopped worrying so much. But it’s good to be prepared for anything. My regulator came out, and I was quick to remember our instructor’s careful instructions for replacing it and clearing the water before taking a breath. We were about 30 feet deep, and I went through the motions until I was breathing again.

We need to focus on good things, but it’s also a good idea to be prepared for anything.

Live without regrets.

I almost didn’t scuba dive. I had a panic attack after submerging for the first time in the full gear. I could have turned back, and no one would have thought less of me. But I wanted the experience more than I wanted to be comfortable. I decided to do it, even though it was scary. I found out that I loved it, but I would only have had regrets if I didn’t try.

Paddleboarding

While I enjoy kayaking, I wasn’t quite sure what to think about paddleboarding. It looks like a lot of work. Could it be fun, too? I gave it a go and learned a couple of things in the process.

Find balance.

Balance is essential for paddleboarding. Years of yoga actually helped me to master this part quickly. I went into mountain pose the second I stood up, and I immediately felt at ease on the water. It was a powerful feeling. The balance I had acquired from yoga helped so much.

It’s important to keep our balance, even when our lives aren’t as steady as we’d like.

Pay attention.

While my balance was great, the two times I pitched forward and fell on the board happened when I wasn’t paying attention. I got too much in my own head and out of the experience. Paying attention to our surroundings and our current situation is important- not just for safety. Practicing mindfulness enriches our experiences.

Expectations don’t always align with reality.

I wasn’t prepared to like paddleboarding. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be good at it and wouldn’t even enjoy it as much as kayaking. But our expectations don’t always align with reality. This is why it’s important to be informed and not to make assumptions.

Before I got back to the dock, I was already planning to buy a paddleboard rather than a kayak because I had loved it that much. I could have stayed on dry land, assuming that paddleboarding wasn’t my thing, but I’m so glad I didn’t.

Ax-Throwing

If you haven’t thrown axes, you are missing out! I’ve gone a couple of times, and I’ve found it to be a fascinating and fun experience. Throwing axes at targets taught me a couple of things, too.

The value of rage.

I think I pioneered the “rage throw.” I wasn’t even pissed off. I just decided to channel what normally looks like rage into my throw by getting a running start and putting all my power into it. It’s easy to forget that anger can be motivating. We can choose to let our anger and frustration motivate us to make changes or just keep us unhappy in our present situations. It all depends on how we use it.

There’s value in rage- provided we use it to make better choices.

Empowerment.

Throwing axes are fun, but it’s also empowering. It feels great to use my body to heave an ax at a target. It’s a full body experience, and it makes me feel fierce. I don’t know that throwing darts would have exactly the same effect.

Hiking

Hiking is an old favorite of mine. There are trails enough near my house that I do this adventure more often than the others. I do it with my kids or on my own or with my partner. Hiking has one very essential life lesson for me, and that is…

Mindfulness.

I love being immersed in nature. It keeps me mindful. I’m grounded, focused on my surroundings, and out of my own head. I’m not worried about the past or obsessing about the future: I’m just able to enjoy the present moment. I notice the sunlight on the leaves and flowers. I pay attention to the sound of the river running by my trail or the sounds of birds in trees. I appreciate the coolness of the shade and the warmth of the sun on my face when I pass out of it. I am particularly mindful when I hike.

That level of mindfulness shouldn’t be restricted to a hike in the woods. It also serves me well in my everyday life.

Kayaking

Tandem kayaking was a part of our big adventure weekend, and I thought about something I hadn’t before. The lesson came when I least expected it, but it seems to resonate with me.

Synchronicity.

The best relationships require synchronicity. We were on the water paddling, and it was important that we kept our movements in sync in order to move the kayak forward. This required us to be aware of each other. Sometimes, he would rest, and sometimes, I would, but we worked together when we both paddled to make sure we were on the same page.

Healthy relationships require communication, working together, and being on the same page. They require synchronicity.

I look at my former relationships and easily see why they failed at a spectacular level. We didn’t want the same things, and we didn’t work well together. It was impossible to have healthy relationships under those circumstances.

General Adventure Lessons

Going on adventures taught me a few other lessons. I’m sure I could find more if I spent more time thinking about them individually. But let’s just take a look at a few of the overall lessons.

Stay hydrated.

Life and adventure both require us to stay hydrated. Drink more water. And as the Dos Equis guy will tell you, stay thirsty… for life, for adventure, for love.

Stay thirsty for life, and stay hydrated, too.

Apply sunscreen.

Outdoor adventures should go hand-in-hand with good skin care. Apply sunscreen- except when scuba diving or snorkeling near a coral reef. Sunscreen can damage a coral reef, so avoid its use when participating in these activities. Otherwise, we should love our skin enough to give it a little basic protection.

Learn to rest, not quit.

I’m not invincible. I get tired, but I’ve learned to rest, not quit. I spent all day yesterday resting and drinking extra water. After a weekend of adventure, all I wanted was a day to rest. That’s okay.

When on adventures, we can also learn to rest rather than quit. When hiking, we sat down and took breaks. When paddleboarding, we sat down and talked when we wanted a rest. When kayaking, we stopped paddling and just enjoyed the view.

When we need a rest, we take one; that doesn’t mean we quit.

My Not-So-Boring Life

My life used to be ordinary and colorless — but only because I settled for it. I didn’t ask for more, then, because I wasn’t sure I could have the life I wanted. When I had tentatively suggested a more adventurous life, I’d found that no one I knew wanted to go with me.

It took me a while to understand that if I wanted a certain kind of life I would have to start living it whether or not anyone I knew was willing to go on those adventures with me.

So I did. I got rid of the relationship and the mind-numbingly tedious jobs and the days spent doing little to nothing. I started to live with intention. I went it alone for a long time. I built my life from the ashes of the boring one.

But it all worked out. It brought me a job I love so much that working all the time doesn’t mean what it once would have. It brought me the right relationship with someone who loves adventure as much as I do. It brought me experiences I wouldn’t have had if I’d just stayed in that other life, marking time and waiting for the weekend to sort of enjoy my life.

My life isn’t boring now, and I’m learning a lot from my adventures. I’m learning a lot from the way I’m choosing to live right now. I guess the biggest lesson I’ve learned is how to choose a happy life. It’s my favorite lesson, but it took me the longest to learn. I’m living it now, and that’s not boring at all.

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